Me and Mike 1992


One of Mike’s best friends recently posted this picture of me and Mike in 1992. I look like such a baby face… and I was so excited to see this pic because I lost everything I owned from back then including all my pictures of me and Mike and all my friends.. pictures I can never replace.

Mike Starr and Barbara Dearaujo

  Mike Starr and Barbara Dearaujo

I will forever miss the times I spent with Mike.. he really was such a fun loving and sweet guy and we both cared a lot about each other. He was a great boyfriend. I was only about 19-20 years old in this picture. I met Mike from my cousin Patrick who was the guitar player for a band called “Cats and Dogs” and we met at the Vogue. The Man in the Box video had just been released on MTV…and I had just moved to Seattle from Santa Barbara so I did not know anyone but my cousin and his friends and I was underage so I could not go out to the clubs..anyway that night my cousin took me out and his girlfriend let me use her ID…little did I know how much my life would change that year…I was so naive when I moved there. I had been raised in a small beach town (Laguna Beach, CA) and Seattle seemed so BIG and the people were so CRAZY… it was nothing like what I was used too.

Barbara Dearaujo and Mike Starr

Me in Mike Starr’s room.. posted by Melinda Starr on her Facebook and taken from Mike’s photo album

I remember I thought Mike was totally lying to me about his last name… Haha! You can’t blame me though. Mike Starr was just too perfect for a rock star’s REAL name.  Just could not be.

I gave Mike the silver pendent necklace he’s wearing in this picture and you can also see it in most of the Dirt promo posters. I remember being super excited and touched about that.. haha! Cute. He had gone to LA while we were dating to record Dirt..

Alice in Chains Dirt Promo Poster

He had the best hair..ringlets. Girls would die for Mike’s hair.

Even a couple years after we broke up.. I ran into Mike and he told me how he was getting his Platnum albums for Facelift and he could get like 10 of them or something and he wanted me to have one.. I thought that would be awesome but never honestly expected to ever see it. Then like a month later I ran into him again and he took me to the office downtown and picked up my album. I was shocked and moved that he still cared that much about me. I lost everything I’ve owned several times over the years but that is the one thing I have always held onto for dear life. It even has airline stickers on the back from me dragging it on airplanes. Haha! You’d have to pull it from my dead hands…. he is with me forever and I’m proud of his accomplishments and so was he.


 Mike you will be forever missed

  1. Greg Wimer04-01-17

    I do remember mike bringing barbara to one of my famous capital hill parties or maybe it was two or three

  2. Lynne08-13-14

    Hi Barbara, I never knew he (Mike Starr) was married. Or maybe Sandra Starr was telling her false story, who knows?

    • Lynne08-13-14

      By the way, I’m so very sorry, but I’m positively sure he knew you had some good reasons not to call him back and already knew how you felt about him just because you did send him a message on FB. I admit I have cried while reading your story and your own comments as of reply. You’re so very lucky to be part of his life and Layne’s life as well. Please know how proud you are that you’ve known two sweet angels. Love…

  3. nihils07-09-14

    I’m really impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout
    on your weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself?
    Anyway keep up the excellent quality writing, it’s rare to
    see a great blog like this one nowadays.

    • sarah marshall03-30-19

      I Didn’t know where to post and am running late for work so I just stuck it here, Nobody can ever replace Layne, but I am pretty sure he is reincarnated into this kid, and if hes not then this is the closest vocally we are ever gonna see, practically identical please check it out and tell me what you think.

      • Tina09-15-19

        Wow, I’m impressed!!

      • gringo12-02-19

        omg, omg… that’s so close to Layne/AIC,that I start believe in reincarnation.I’m shocked and impressed at the same time.thanks for the YT link, I’m gonna dig deeper into this band..

  4. sandra starr04-23-14

    I don’t know much to say but Iam Mmike Starr wife we were married in Seattle Washington I have known Mike befoe thses guys became famous in 87 Layne paid for us to haveto get married even gave us about 10,000 for a wedding present our honey moon was n Clinton Washington were we all hung out for about 2 weeks at the cabin hotel ith just a bunch of rock starr we have been off and on for years we split up because we all were doing drugs at the time MMike would not stop so I left him I was not about to watch my man die of drugs and I told him of that we last spent time toghether in 2010 in august all the way till Feb he wanted me to go back to Utah with him but now I wished I had gone with him but I was supposed to catch up with him in March we talked every day and the day I wnted to leave for Utah I calld him and said I was o my way and II had my stuff packed in the car I called him back wanting to et him know I was on my way he never answered the phone TraVIS mEEKS called me back 2 day later and said my husband just pasted on by drugs but we shared 6 months together in Camden Tennesse

    • Greg Wimer04-01-17

      Sandra your full of shit . you aere never married to mike starr. The mike starr that was bassist for alice in. Hains

  5. sandra starr04-23-14

    I don’t know much to say but Iam Mmike Starr wife we were married in Seattle Washington I have known Mike befoe thses guys became famous in 87 Layne paid for us to haveto get married even gave us about 10,000 for a wedding present our honey moon was n Clinton Washington were we all hung out for about 2 weeks at the cabin hotel ith just a bunch of rock starr we have been off and on for years we split up because we all were doing drugs at the time MMike would not stop so I left him I was not about to watch my man die of drugs and I told him of that we last spent time toghether in 2010 in august all the way till Feb he wanted me to go back to Utah with him but now I wished I had gone with him but I was supposed to catch up with him in March we talked every day and the day I wnted to leave for Utah I calld him and said I was o my way and II had my stuff packed in the car I called him back wanting to et him know I was on my way he never answered the phone TraVIS mEEKS called me back 2 day later and said my husband just pasted on by drugs but we shared 6 months together in Camden Tennesse

  6. g-man07-28-13

    Barbara the pictures and the comments alongside were very sweet and tender in remembrance of a wonderful man. You give an insight into the culture and lifestyle of the Seattle scene back in the day. I lived in Seattle for 3 years coming from NYC. I loved the people and culture and never wanted to leave. Unfortunately I was in the Navy and as hard as I tried to stay in Seattle, there was no assignment for me, so I transferred to Long Beach Ca., close to your neck of the woods. I still miss the years I was in Seattle, they were clearly the best years of my life, I had so much fun. I was there just before the whole scene opened wide, Alice hadn’t formed yet but Malfunkshun was a young band and Green river were just coming up as well as sound Garden. I was in the U-district a lot and saw the band names on the Marquee but wasn’t old enough to get in, only 18. I was stationed at Sand Point Naval base in NE Seattle so it wasn’t far to get to the U-district and even downtown. I remember taking the bus down town and getting off at the Paramount where they still showed movies then, saw Friday the 13th in 3D there in 1983. So many things I did there. The Navy club in Sand point had many of the local bands come in and perform on Friday and Saturday nights. They were all cool. Any way I’d like to take a vacation there one summer and go sight seeing to all the places I lived and hung out at and show my son how great it was.

  7. Chillow06-17-13

    ….btw, I love, LOVE, your pics with Mike. You both look adorable. Your comments talk about Mike’s beautiful hair….(and I gotta say), YOUR hair TOO looks amazing!!! You looked like a very nice couple and fit each other well by seeing those pics. The HAT pic is so adorable…reminds me of some of the DEMRI fashion model “looking” pics.

  8. Chillow06-17-13

    One difference to me between drugs and cancer?…most ppl know that certain drugs are addictive. And you don’t know if you have that certain addictive ‘gene’ in your systme that makes you worse than say someone else who tries something that isn’t good for them. Cancer, on the other hand, you have no control over in the beginning. Sure, you can try to eat well, exercise, etc., but you can STILL get cancer. Both are terrible and I wish there was a cure for both of them where there’s no suffering in the process. I realize they are both a disease, but just like overeating and alcohol, these sort of addictions are looked upon differently. No one thinks that overeating is an addiction. Most ppl think that overweight ppl are just lazy…and sure, some of them are….but not everyone. Body chemistry plays such a huge roll in your mental and physical being….and different things are harder to control for different ppl.

  9. Bilja05-17-13

    From the time I started to listen and follow grunge music, Alice In Chains the most, I am constantly disappointing as I am finding out more about the tragic fate of these people… It’s really hurting me, my heart, ’cause, even I didn’t knew this people, I compassion with them… maybe it’s because I’m broken inside too, but never wanted to be HEROINe heh… everytime I read Layne’s last interview I cry and it is so depressing.. for a while I stop listening “down in a hole” and just shut off, need some time alone with my cigarettes, they are giving me the only light in dark times….
    Beautiful people as they all were there, then in Seattle mustn’t die so young, it’s so wrong, it’s like all city become dead place.. so sad and so wrong…
    And Barbara, you were so beautiful and I’m glad you survived even all around you fell under heroin, don’t want to cry for you too <3

  10. Keith Johnson04-22-13

    Well I would like to say that I’m only 23 and I still adore these men, so age has nothing to do with dessrepecting them. I sent this message earlier but don’t think I did it right. But even if I did I will say it again because I can. I adore these men not because of there music, yes there music is still to this day above and beyond anything els I’ve heard. But because even with the fame they still hade hearts of gold and weren’t ashamed to show it. Good people like that are getting harder and harder to find. And for what it’s worth I really enjoy reading things you post about them. It’s awesome to get a glimpse into who they were behind the music. Layne Demri and Starr were all great people and deserve to be rememberd as such. Everybody makes bad choices in there life but that doesn’t mean they are bad people. It’s a shame that people are so quick to judge people by the few mistakes they made in life. To me these guys where born amazing people and died amazing people.

  11. aharris04-20-13

    Thank you for sharing what a special memory.

  12. aharris04-19-13

    Hi Barbara,

    You mentioned you met Mike at Vogue, was that the place to go back then? When was the last time you remember talking or seeing Mike if you don’t mind answering.

    • admin04-20-13

      Last time I saw Mike.. hmm.. it had to be in like 1997 or around that time. He called me cell and left a message 2 weeks before he passed away. His sister got my number off of Facebook and gave it to him. I did not call him back right away because to be honest I was trying to be respectful of my husband but I HIGHLY regret that now. Basically he just said Hey Babz, I miss you and think of you often and I love you” that was it. I will always cherish those words and I know that when he left this life he still had love for me as I will when I leave this life for him. Now and Forever.

  13. jeanna04-18-13

    i have not tried to fight anyone.i am 56 year old woman who just got off of drugs.i was angry because my dad had died of cancer when i was ten years old.i was 13 when i started lsds and never stoped until my brothers check me into rehab when i was 55 years old.there i started to see that my life was ruined because of the crazy mistakes i made.i am sorry that i had offended you i was angry that some would say drugs and cancer is likeed same. i am sorry.

  14. HML04-17-13

    Yep. I have to agree with you on blocking them. It occurs to me that when you open up your life and your memories to share with everyone, you unfortunately also open yourself up to BS like that. Although, if you don’t block them and do leave their comments up on here, I do think their posts in interaction with everyone else’s do make their arguments look as baseless as they are. It all pretty much speaks for itself…LOL! Anyway, whatever you decide Barbara. 🙂

  15. Melissa04-17-13

    Block them Barbara! Not only do they sound like they are on drugs themselves, but they are completely disrespecting you. No need for any of us to be subjected to them!

  16. candice04-17-13

    i say….block ’em. this argument is done!

  17. jeanna04-16-13

    what the fuck barbara ,devine is right, cate and you is wrong.i just finally got off of lsd and alcohol.and i don”t remember getting a tumor like my dad did when he got cancer or chemo like he did before he died.i am not saying that addiction is not a disease,it”S just way diffrent than cancer or before you talk learn it bitch.oh and p.s you are the reason mike is dead now if you stayed with him and did”t fall in love with some basterd he would still be alive now.

    • HML04-16-13

      Seriously? I didn’t know Mike, but I am aware he dated a lot of girls over his lifetime. I don’t know if Barbara broke his heart or not, but that is a cheap shot to blame her for his addiction and its sad ending. As if anyone is THAT powerful over another’s choices. And the disease reference is to the compelling grip addiction has over the addict, once the addiction sets in. Your body and personality crave whatever the drug of choice is, and that is where the word disease sets in. It becomes a sickness that has both physical and mental components. How saying that there is disease involved is somehow insulting to Mike or Layne is a mystery to me. If there wasn’t a disease aspect, why wouldn’t any addict just quit with no problem doing so?

      • Barbara04-17-13


        Thank you for having the only voice of reason in this ridiculous conversation and I not only regret but have no clue why I even decided to join in this one (slaps self).
        To say that I broke Mikes heart when I was 19 years old and then 18 years later he died of an overdose because of it is just insane to even say or think. We dated for 6 months. We were friends for YEARS afterwards. He did not do drugs because of me and never tried to get back together with me.. it was not like that. It’s funny how people think they know what went down when they were not there and actually have no flipping clue and YES my children were worth it. I can’t even believe she said that. How disgusting is that? It’s these kind of people you have to worry about. Blaming me for Mike Starrs death? Next thing you know she’s going to be at my window with one of those scream masks on. Screaming “It’s all your fault”!!!
        Seriously? Mike would find that hilarious that she is trying to blame me for his whole adult life after we broke up TWENTY YEARS AGO. He was 44 years old when he died, we dated when he was 26 and I was 19!! Divine and Jeanna are obviously either little kids and just don’t understand real life or their nuts.

        Also Thank you Candice, for telling people to stop arguing. Nice thing is I can block people from this website and they won’t even be able to view it let alone comment on it and I see no reason for Divine or Jeanna to stick around do you?

      • Lynne08-13-14

        You sound like you’re so angry at the world and sound so miserable. Jealous of Barbara just because Mike had love for her? He sure didn’t date a lot of women. You know nothing about him, period.

    • Joy05-02-13

      How old are, 12, you act like it, what you said was just plain ignorant and RUDE!!!!!

    • Shanon Loe10-07-17

      Jeanna, you seem to be a bitter nut with a deficit in grace and lacking a basic understanding of social manners and the human condition as well. To say to someone that if they had only done xyz (plug in whatever you want here) so and so would not have died is ruder than rude, it’s like rude to 10th power. Go work on yourself before showing your ignorance thus embarrassing yourself in public again please.

  18. candice04-16-13

    *my name is candice, i spelt it wrong on the last comment.

  19. candcie04-16-13

    why is everyone on here argueing…obviously its makeing barbara upset. have some class, and go argue on another website. i thought this website was about beautiful memories and not pointless back-and-forth-crap.

  20. Barbara04-16-13

    All she said was drug addiction is a disease just like cancer which is TRUE!! Look it up! Addiction is considered a disease! Dumb ass! I did not get silent because you brought up Mike I got silent because I have a life and this website is NOT it. I have 3 kids and a job to attend too. I am a 40 year old woman who spent too many of those years addicted to heroin so don’t tell me what addiction is.

  21. Barbara04-14-13

    Every thing Cate said was 100% true and I believe this would be the exact opinion of both Mike and Layne and Dem… Addiction is a disease. That is a known fact not an opinion or an assumption. These are peoples loved ones so remember that when posting about them online and be mindful of what you say. I have NO CLUE what you guys are talking about when you say she said something rude or unkind… please give me a quote that you disagree with? I will ban with a quickness anyone I think is being retarded but in my opinion… I though Cate was just speaking the truth.

  22. Liz04-13-13

    Sorry, just realised I put my name as Liza then….dam predictive typing!! I’m still Liz!!! Duuurr

  23. Liza04-13-13

    Devine thanks for you support but go easy on Cate. I certainly don’t think she’s putting anyone down at all. I totally agree with what she’s saying, I just felt that the comparison between addiction and cancer wasn’t something I agreed with. Everything else is spot on and differences in opinions should be respected….you don’t have to agree with them or like them but people will think different things and feel different ways.
    Barbara is right, these people have sadly gone and shouldn’t be disrespected in any way and ultimately people shouldn’t try to focus on what killed them…there’s not changing that. I live in the UK so obviously never met any of them but from what I’ve learned I’m sure Layne would rather his legacy be about the music and all the wonder he brought and not be about the drugs.

  24. liz04-12-13

    I love this site and I loved Layne and AIC and am still so sad at the loss this whole group of people have suffered over the years, including you Barbara.
    But I’m wading in here with my two cents to say that I totally agree that addiction is an illness, it’s all-consuming and is a life of hell for those who have lived it or are living it now. But Cate – I really do have to disagree with you for liking it to other diseases. It IS different. In the beginning the individual DOES have a choice as to whether they take that first hit or not. They CAN choose not to. After that, after they’re hooked I totally agree that their decisions are no longer their own and the ravages of addiction take over. But you can NOT compare this to something like cancer. I have friends who have been involved with drugs who are now clean and who have accepted that they made a bad decision to ever get on drugs, but my best friend who recently died from breast cancer, did NOT choose to have cancer and she did NOT choose to die at 34 and not see her little boy grow up, and it was NOT up to her to have to fight her heart out for 2 years as the disease (and the treatments) slowly killed her.
    Before I’m shouted down by others, again let me stress that I do agree that once an individual is hooked, they suffer an illness and I’m sure no recovering addict will tell you that they chose to be one, but they do have some responsibility in it.
    Sorry for the rant, but the cancer comment really got to me – guess I’m still a little raw over my friend’s death.
    Peace out everyone and love and respect to everyone who’s fighting their own demons – be it cancer, drugs, mental health or anything else that can ruin lives!!

    • liz04-12-13

      Also, I just want to say that even though I believe the individual has some responsibility to accept for their own addiction, that does NOT (can’t stop putting that in capitals now) mean they should be treated any differently to any suffering from other diseases. They absolutely should be offered the same love, support and help that you would extend to someone suffering from another illness. Responsibility aside, no addict should be humiliated, looked down on or dismissed because ‘he brought it on himself’!! That totally isn’t what I’m saying here and I hope no one thinks that’s what I’m saying.

  25. T111104-05-13

    Many prayers and uplifting thoughts go out to the friends and families of these individuals who left this earth so young. It is truly wonderful to see the impact their lives made on people, many of whom they never met. It very special that you all have shared your precious memories, pictures, and stories. Thank you for your generosity of spirit.

  26. Cate01-05-13

    Drug addiction is not a chose it is a disease! No different than cancer, mental illnesss, diabetes or alcoholism. The life of any addict Is hell it consumes their time, money, self esteem, family and lives. Nor, were these beautiful people mere addicts,they were and are artists with promise. They are people’s children, that had dreams and hopes. They had friends and families that loved them. Allow their legacy to be one of compassion and goodness. Think before you write words for they can be daggers to those that loved them. Remember that we can just as easy become an addict. How would it feel to have your family/friends hear derogatory comments? Opened up for the world to pick a part. Keep this in mind when you post assumptions.

  27. J12-13-12

    Hey Barb,

    Did you ever get a chance to speak with Mike before he passed? Were you guys on good terms If not do regret anything?

  28. kevin08-07-12

    stupid comments from stupid people that havent been hooked by opiates. ANYONE can get hooked so watch your ass! you think you’re tougher then the drug? go get surgery and take them. you’ll see how easy it is when you have chronic pain to get messed up from them. if you don’t have experience in something don’t comment. you know nothing and we don’t need you to feel bad for us

  29. sawyerboy1306-23-12

    Hey adam, thank you so much for pointing out the obvious. I just didnt realize there was another way. I guess you holier than thou motherfuckers just have no clue about much. You’re just to busy pointing out everyone’s faults, and adding insult to injury. I wish I could feel sorry for you, but I just cant bring myself to feel sorry for the choice you made to be a douche bag.

  30. Angie06-05-12

    Hi there again,
    I’ve emailed you several times in the past and I really appreciate you replying to me. Hope the question I’m going to ask isn’t too morbid. You had mentioned to me that Demri was with friends (in a car?) when she passed away. What I was wondering was if she was back on heroin or her drug of choice when she died? I know she had open heart surgery but did that scare her enough to quit drugs altogether?
    Thank You,
    Angie L

    • Barbara06-08-12

      I don’t know for sure all I know is what I was told about that day.. I was told that she had been clean after she was released from the hospital but the day she passed away she had used heroin. I don’t know if she actually overdosed or if her heart just finally gave out. Sadly I never found out the whole truth. Nothing scared Demri. I think she knew she was going to die young because of her heart and probably just wanted to feel good. She had a pig valve in her heart by the time she was 26-27 so she was a very sick little girl. She spent months at a time in the hospital.

      • Adam06-17-12

        All of these stories are sad… but there are programs to help people. I realize opiates are probably the hardest substance to get off of but people somehow find away. I’m sorry they are gone, but I can’t bring myself to feel sorry for the choices they made.

        • sawyerboy1306-23-12

          Wow, you holier than thou motherfuckers are all the same. Instead of showing a little compassion, you add insult to injury. I wish I could feel sorry for you, but I just cant feel sorry for the choice you made to be a douche bag.

  31. Sarah Y05-24-12

    So cool!

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