Darin Lamb – One of Layne Staley’s Best Friends

Post

Guest post by Darin Lamb

Darin Lamb – One of Layne’s Best Friends and our Guest Poster

Recently I asked an old and very dear friend of mine Darin Lamb to please be a guest on this website because I knew that he of all people had a lot to share about the REAL Layne Staley.  He has been more then gracious to write the following post and he welcomes you as Laynes friends and fans to please ask him whatever you would like… the only thing he promises to be is BRUTALLY honest.

~ Barbara

“Well… its been 10 years since Layne passed and I’ve kept silent. My name is Darin Lamb but most people know me as D-ROCK. At the time of Layne’s passing and many years before that I would have considered us best friends. There are many reasons for this but the #1 reason is because of our LOYALTY to each other as a friends!

I’ve basically kept silent all these years out of respect for his family and because I just wasn’t ready to break the silence.

But today I am ready to talk… through the years I’ve “thrown up” a little in my mouth at a lot of the shit I read about Layne that was supposed to be “factual”.

Layne showed me the meaning of what “unconditional LOVE” was and that’s why he is and forever will be a part of me. I’m brutally honest and I’m ready to answer some of the questions you might have about Layne.

I can tell you so many stories. Layne is a legend.  He wore his heart on his sleeve but that slowly faded when people started to try and run his life. Which is sad for a lot of people whom he could have touched. But I would be honored and blessed to set things straight and I know in my heart Layne is probably saying “what the fuck its about time” so on the behalf of my BEST friend for years and his soul…

May you “REST IN PEACE” brother…..

Darin Lamb aka…D-ROCK”

Candles Red I have a Pair.... Darin Lamb Tattoo

Candles Red I have a Pair…. Darin Lamb Tattoo

Pictures of the private Memorial Program shared by Darin Lamb on his Facebook recently…

IMPORTANT:

Darin’s Personal Stories will be shared in the Comments

If you’d like to subscribe to the comments on this post then you must leave at least ONE comment and then click the boxes to subscribe to comments and then you’ll get an email every time someone comments.. and… well… It might just be worth it if you’re a real fan…..because that is what this post is all about.. a conversation about Layne with his Fans. Please try to not ask redundant questions that have already been answered. You can ask for clarification but try to be specific.

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1/8/2014

I’ve turned comments back on for this post but don’t be shocked if I don’t respond and don’t be shocked if I do… I at one point closed it because I was getting so many emails every day it was overwhelming but it’s been a year so things have cooled down so I’m turning it back on…

  1. David10-28-17

    Having read that Layne did not like STP, was very interesting, because i have always wondered what he thought of music from 95 through to 02…

    i always imagined he would have stayed in the loop through television, radio, internet(did Layne use the internet) on post grunge and nu-metal bands, in particular silverchair, who were influenced by AIC/M.S

  2. d09-09-17

    Don’t glamourize Darrin Lamb. He was a con artist that ripped people off and supplied drugs to Layne. He was dark and disgusting asshole and he still owes me $400

    • Darin Lamb10-01-17

      Another jealous finding out about this website 5 years later. And again afraid to leave a name. So?? Mrs. $400 ha ha ha again $400 need I say more?? Darin

  3. Erin Graham07-31-17

    I will be slowly reading all of this. As someone who has had the struggles of addiction and (thankfully) been able to overcome it. He is one of my favorite artists and y first born will be layne in his honor. I’m sure after i read this i will be able to give my son 100000 reasons why he was named after an idol.

    Darin, I can’t wait to learn of layne in a more personal way!

  4. frank06-29-17

    all read finally!
    Gets really boring at the end with people not reading the post and just asking already answered questions.

    scroll down and read all of it before you ask a damn question!

    Really interesting and fresh news at the begining though, thanks to all who contributed and most of all thanks Darin and Barbara, I didn’t knew them(Layne-Demri) but i’m sure they are pleased with what you are doing in their honor.

    I could ramble on about myself but i won’t since the others annoyed me with their personnal anecdotes.

    The thread is about Layne and Demri ,
    for the fans and darin-barbara and not about the fan’s anecdotes. Am i wrong?

    Oh! and QUESTION to D-Rock, ’cause barbara already mentionned what i was curious about.

    A touchy one to ask but i have to ask it, in case you answer.

    Darin, how can you be sure that Layne did not commit suicide? you can answer me in private if you do not want to talk about it publicly.

    And questions nobody asked:
    How are you Darin?
    What are you up too theses days?
    Do you write music?Do you play some?

    and thanks for Sweet water – can’t say no

    Frank the frenchie from québec,canada

    • Barbara m Dearaujo07-06-17

      Thanks to everyone who is still visiting this website and finding our stories interesting. It means a lot. I have not heard from Darin a few years but he is still in Seattle I believe… so random some guy found his wallet… googled him… found my website and called me looking for him recently. Haha! So random how our lives continue to clash no matter how long or how far away we are from eachother.
      Anyway, Take care everyone and enjoy the website!

      Barbara

      • Dan Traub07-31-17

        So nice Barbara. When I lived and played guitar at the off ramp the swan and other places in Seattle 88-96 I always felt a sense of community . You are continuing that as well as honoring Layne who I met at Naf studio a few times. So thank you!

      • L Layne09-26-17

        Hello Barbara, it said to leave a note to join the site, so here it is and Thank you and yes that is my real middle name.

  5. Stef04-24-17

    Hi there I can’t believe I JUST found this website! Thank you so much Barbara for this awesomeness. Layne was a gift to this world. A true artist, such a gift and a voice like NO other, ever. I am glad you have paid tribute to Demri and others lost as well. I have not read through ALL the comments and posts yet, but plan to spend time doing so as this is awesome. One thing I have read online and been curious about that I see no one has mentioned so far – do you know if there is any truth to Demri being the one who “introduced” Layne to heroin? That is mentioned in more than one article I have read. I mean no disrespect towards her as I know she was your friend I am just curious if you know this to be true. All the best and thank you for this amazing website and tribute(s) to Layne in so many ways – may you rest in Peace dear man =)

    • Keelan05-30-17

      Darin,
      Ive always wondered how Layne did with methadone or if he even tried it. I’ve read that he did but it didn’t work for him. As a former iv opiate user and huge Layne fan I felt like I could relate to his music so much as I’m sure others could as well. I tried methadone to get clean and it has it’s pros and cons. I was just curious as to his experience with using methadone to try and get off the heroin.

  6. Marek11-19-16

    Hello.i have question.where the ashes of Layne.i am from Slovakia.i mean that ist to America do not get in life.but i wonder what.about Demre i do not have many read.it is poasible that together buried?I am a Christian.Layne is my big idol.very big.Every day i listen to him.i was born late.at 92.But many are iterested their two.Layne could sing the fuck brass band.haha.yes.which means it tattoo na the blade.I know that this is a clip.but by design?I think it is Jesus.Thanks
    Honor their memory

  7. Chad06-14-16

    Hello,

    Barb, thank you so much for taking the time and money to make this awesome blog. I have been a Chains fan ever since I saw Man in the Box when Mtv first released it, I went and bought the cassette single. I’ve learned so much backstory from this site. Thank you Darin for taking the time to speak up and share about your time with your friends.

    There was something you said about unconditional love that really struck home and made me think of a documentary I watched and later purchased a few years ago. I am getting ready to start my master program for social work. My focus is going to be working with offenders and addiction. I recently spent six months volunteering at Crosswalk in Spokane Wa, it’s a homeless teen shelter. I got to witness firsthand the issues these teens face, drub abuse being one of them. It’s heartwrenching and there really wasn’t much I could do except be someone they could talk to who was not going to judge them.

    There is a disconnect I see with people who don’t understand addiction and what it does to a person mentally and physically; there is a romantic notion that all that person needs is love and love conquers everything. Addiction is a different beast and it’s not something that a hug and prayer is going to be able to overcome.

    Below is a link to a doc. called Hairkutt, the copy quality is decent. I thought I would link it because it shows how good intentions, friendships and love fair against addiction. Granted, those qualities can have an effect, but there are other things that need to happen in order for them to have an effect.

    I think it is awesome that you were able to be Layne and Demri’s friend regardless of their addiction and you stayed with them till the end. You gave Layne space and didn’t allow yourself to be swayed by his problem. The friend who made the doc. and who is getting the haircut at the end made me think of you when you said “unconditional love.”

  8. Christy12-26-15

    With Scott’s recent passing a lot of heartache came drudging up from the depths of my soul; including memories of Layne’s passing, Andrew Wood’s passing and of course Kurt’s.

    Back in my day; I was running around the U-D frequenting Rainbow, the Knarr and Earls on the Ave -1999-2004….. And had seen Layne on a few nights but was respectful of space… Even though an absolute fan.

    Losing Weiland really reopened a wound in my soul. I was never a “friend” of anyone in the scene; I live in Seattle but was able to break the grips of bad choices……

    Music from the greats got me through really dark times. I can’t remember names, places or events until I match a song to it; everything can flood back with the right song…..my counselors had lived it, were living it, and would sing it to me and help me through it. I learned from their follies, their pain, their bared hearts……their losses and knowledge became my protection….unknowingly. I feel saved by them all.

    Now as a successful adult, I haven’t forgotten the musical timeline to major events in my life and the artists that helped me “get past it”. I owe them alll so much and my only regret is I never shook a single hand or got to thank one of my “heroes”. I could have lead a VERY different life but music saved my soul.

    As an adult I now find myself enthralled on learning more about the people behind the talent that guided me along pathways and choices. I find myself diving into stories, biographies, stories written by lovers, familiar, friends and fans….. I find myself needing more than just the music. I want to “know” them…. Andrew, Layne, Kurt, Scott……

    Barbara, thank you for being a candid open book. You’ve helped easy my mental inquisition over the rich histories of the people I have never known, yet lyrically got to know so well.

    I have gained an enthusiastic and vibrant adoration for Demri, Xana and others who were there, crushing through loves of the highest highs and torments of the lowest lows.

    RIP to all of those souls….

    Xoxoxoxo
    Respect
    -C

    • Jason01-25-16

      Very well put, found myself also looking for more now that we’re older, made it through the storm so to speak. Pushing 40 now with an 18 yr old daughter in college and it makes me so proud when she posts an AIC vid on Facebook. This time we grew up in, this music, it lives on. = )

    • Dan traub04-24-17

      Hi Christy- excellent post. Haven’t seen you since the last Layne Tribute around 2008. I agree that someone shouldn’t be define by their weaknesses. We all have them. Someone was posting asking if it’s true about who my have introduced layne to H and it doesn’t matter. He was a great artist is all that matters. I only met him twice but he was, as was Jerry very nice to me and my band back in the NAF days. That is a legacy in itself! Hope you are good.

  9. Hayley12-21-15

    Hey Barbara, I’m a huge fan and I’m just fascinated with the fact of how sweet a guy Layne was because you don’t see it too often in rockstars. I know you probably don’t get on here too often anymore but I was wondering if you could share some stories on some sweet things layne did for you guys? Also, I found the song fat girls the other night on youtube and was kind of confused because it seemed kind of mean, but I’m sure layne was definitely against hurting peoples feelings, probably just a silly song one of the members of the band wrote back when they were alice n chains lol

  10. Greg L11-27-15

    Fascinating. Reading through this site, and learning about Layne’s life, joys and struggles is kind of like looking in a mirror and seeing things behind you that you never saw before with your own eyes.

    Creatively talented people have a kind of curse…a beautiful one at times, but that constant distraction…like a stereo blasting music you’ve never heard before, that nobody else can hear unless you get it out through a guitar, voice, or whatever. I could be out shopping, and get angry and frustrated just because the muzak being piped into the store just made me lose some tune that was forming in my mind. I’m sure I’m not the only one.

    Drugs! It’s like putting on glasses, the music gets clearer, easier to hear and reproduce. Happy sonic accidents get made, and the results are hard to reproduce when sober. I see them as a crutch sometimes, at least musically…but the results are just as intoxicating as the substance itself. It’s such a slippery slope, and that crutch becomes vital for other areas in your life…and you forget what it’s like to have fun while sober.

    I’m blathering. I’ve never met Layne, but I wish I had. He was the kind of lovable oddball that would understand why I’d rather stay home, play games and pet my cats with a few close friends than go out and raise hell like all the other people that might *seem* like me. I get it all, and thankfully I’ve avoided the deep end of that grimy pool that so many beautiful and talented people have drowned in.

    RIP Layne. You might have been surprised to know how you’ve had such a positive impact on so many people, beyond just fans of your music. You were never truly alone.

  11. Miranda09-25-15

    I’m from Australia, and have been a huge fan of AIC for years (I even have Jerry’s signature tattooed on me!) so naturally I was shocked and saddened by the news of Layne’s passing. Something that really struck me about his death was how little tribute there was towards such a talented and beautiful soul as he. I remember when Kurt Cobain passed (as I’m also a big fan of Nirvana) the news was everywhere, and is still noted today (like the 20yr anniversary in 2014). Layne’s death was every bit as tragic as Kurt’s, and both have been a massive loss to fans and the rock industry also, and frankly I think Layne deserves more recognition as the legend he really was (and still is).

    • Brandon06-29-16

      Layne deserved much more of a remembrance than Cobain did as far as the talent and just the peaceful and kind-hearted human being that Layne was inside and out. The only reason Cobain received more recognition is probably due to the nature of his death with the whole suicide/murder by a shotgun to the head. They’re was a lot of controversy surrounding Cobain more so than there was for Layne’s death. Both were tragedies none the less but Layne’s hit me a little bit harder than Cobain’s death. I listen to AIC everyday and will continue until I too someday pass. I was intrigued by your comment Miranda and you make a great point.

  12. Mickey M06-26-15

    Hey Barbara! This is an awesome website! I am a HUGE aic and Mad Season fan since the 90’s. I’ve always been surprised at how little there is out there on Layne Staley. It’s kind of sad actually. It’s a shame no one ever sat down and wrote a real biography. With that said though you really put together a wonderful website. It’s touching really. I never knew who Demri Parrott was until a few days ago and I gotta say…this website really sucks you in. It’s like a book you cant put down! It’s a really wonderful thing you did for your friend. If it wasn’t for you she’d probably just be a foot note to the people who weren’t lucky enough to had know her person.

    It’s very sad what drugs can do. I’m very happy that you were able to extricate yourself from that lifestyle. Life and things look a lot different when you hit that 40 mark and especially when you have kids. I’m a doctor and I’ve seen what drugs can do. I wish people could see what I’ve seen b/c there’s a very unglamorous side to it all to say the least. I think both Demri and Layne (at the end) were so sick physically that they probably thought even if I do get clean I’m not likely to make it anyway so WTF why stop. What struck me about your friend from reading this is getting a valve replacement is a really BIG friggn deal. It’s a huge surgery with a long recovery period. and they usually don’t do it on people if they’re still using. My question to you is how did she realize she had endocarditis? and going through such a huge surgery like that did she think hey i need to stop? obviously she didn’t stop but something like that in my experience tends to scare a lot of people straight. Just curious. If you have a second to answer thatd be awesome. If not I understand… it’s tough to dig up sad events and Ive got wee ones too…they take up a lot of time (= One other question as a parent… I know you’ve been down some dark paths. Was there anything your parents could have done differently to have helped you avoid getting into all that

    Anyway, thank you so much for this great website! it’s really genuine (like you seem to really be). a lot of people have other motives ie to make a few bucks but your motives seem true blue… catharsis for you and recognition for your friends. Layne was a really talented artist and demri seems like a sweet girl who got in over her head. All the best to you and your family.

    • MH07-01-15

      Hey Mickey not to answer for Barbara or D man but my thoughts on that subject were money removes alot of barriers and if she was in need of something life giving like that I have no doubt Layne took care of what she needed … just a guess on my part and from the posts I have seen I am not sure she knew at the time she went into Evergreen that she had endocarditis because there were several occasions and I dont know the time line just remembering some of the posts I have seen that they thought she was’nt going to make it on more than one hospital stay … on the addiction stuff hell people cant give up cigarettes I cant even imagine trying to kick heroin from what I have seen the reason Layne gave up the ghost is because his soulmate died in 96 which coincides with him slipping into a hermit type lifestyle

  13. Patrick05-31-15

    Really digging these comments, but for whatever reason even though I’ve subscribe I can’t see anything from Darin :/

    • AMANDA05-19-16

      I agree, for some reason all of the comment are not showing g up for me as well. I am so happy to have cone a toss this site, I have been a HUGE AIC fan for years and it is nice to see a tribute site such as this. Thank you for creating it.Manda

  14. Mindy11-26-14

    I am totally obsessed with layne’s voice and I can not quit listening to his music. I have always loved his music but I don’t even want to listen to anything else.

  15. Shane10-25-14

    Layne staley was one of the most talented singers of all time. Rip

  16. Tim10-14-14

    Layne is the sole reason I started singing. I never listened to AIC much until my best friend baught the unplugged dvd and made me watch it. I remember finishing the first song “Nutshell” and looking st my driend and saying “lets play that song again.” I fekt and still feel to this day; a connection with the Layne.Not a day goes by where Layne doesnt come to mind. I have so many questions and feel as if ill never get them answered. Darin and Babz I would like to ask you questions about Layne off the record. I would greatly appreciate it

  17. Lea10-02-14

    Hey guys,

    first off, I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you stepping forward online and sharing your memories of Layne with me and all the other people out there who are tired of reading all the half-truths that are on the internet. It really means a lot.

    I was wondering if you could clarify something for me. It is about an article on alternativenation.com (http://www.alternativenation.net/ministry-singer-talks-introducing-layne-staley-to-heroin-needles-says-he-did-it-for-the-glamour/) about Al Jourgensen from Ministry who wrote a book in which he claims to have turned Layne to using needles. I’m not asking to stir anything up, but seeing how the show Al is referring to was in January ’93 and Dirt was released in ’92, I’m not sure what to believe here. Is Jourgensen just another liar trying to steal whatever fame he can off Layne or is this story legit? Because it would really make me sick to think that he was making up stuff like that just to increase book sells. He would not be the first to try…but still.

    Anyway, I’d really love to hear your opinion on this. Have a great week (:

    • Kristine12-30-14

      My Gawd I love Layne! His voice is absolutely mesmerizing and it touches my soul every time I hear it. Did he ever have any idea how he had such a profound affect on so many people? I was just listening to “Would” unplugged and I started to weep. I’m not even sure why. But looking and hearing Layne does it to me.

    • Joe Schmoe02-01-15

      Layne was doing dope a long time before He Supposedly Did Dope with Alejandro

    • Darin11-07-15

      Layne was already a IV drug userat least one year minimum prior towhat you are referring to!!! again people dofeel the need tomake themselves involved whether it be negative or positive??? SAD SO SAD ; (

      • frank06-29-17

        reality of this world for me in 1 word would be sadness…sometimes beautiful and other times filled with anger.

  18. michelle10-02-14

    Awesome awesome awesome I love that the truth is being told and cleared. I know I read a lot of bullshit out their. Thankfully Layne’s mom cleared some of it up for me! But I love that you are doing this/ did this!!! Thanks darin and barbara

  19. All4love209-28-14

    Layne was a musical genius. Left this planet too soon. With gratitude for your talents. See you on the other side.

  20. Melissa09-08-14

    I’m so glad that I found this blog. Thank you so much Barbara and Darrin for sharing all the memories that you all shared together.
    After reading these comments I can’t help to paint the picture that Demri was a bit controlling with Layne (correct me if I’m wrong). Did the guys from AIC think she was a YOKO ONO or maybe getting in the way of the band?? I read somewhere where a classmate of Demri’s said that she was “damaged goods” and had a rough childhood.

    • frank06-29-17

      that question is answered in the comments below if you try to read the blog before questionning

  21. soulmate08-22-14

    Happy birthday. Layne………..

    • Dan T08-22-14

      Hi Darrin- I am reaching out to you around the time if Layne’s birthday. I knew the band casually at NAF and the clubs we all played. Later I did video/ film for Layne’s Mom but it was never released. These days I’m many years clean and sober. Layne ( and Jerry) were always very nice to us and encouraged us if they could. I still remember the last time I talked to Layne, during the rehearsals for the album with the dog on the cover. I recall wishing I could help him. I believe what you say is true that Layne knew you were a loyal friend to Layne. Probably was enhanced by the fact that you knew him before he was famous so he trusted you deeply as well. I wish you well and thanks to you and Barb for this blog!

  22. JOHNNY B07-14-14

    fuck off sicko this is for layne not your sordid acts get a life.

  23. Pablo06-01-14

    Ms., can I ask you a question?
    I heard so many rumors about her death, but all them are diferent. The truth is that she died of what? I appreciate if you answer my question, but I’ll understand if you don’t want talk about it.
    Thank you.

    • Barbara D.02-11-15

      Demri died from complications of endocarditis.. a heart infection brought on by IV drug use. She had just gotten out of the hospital, she was in the car with a friend while he was running errands.. she fell asleep in the backseat and lost consciousness. She was taken to the hospital where she later passed away. I believe she was 28 at the time.. but I am horrible with dates.. She was a huge loss to all that loved her. She already had spent a lot of time in the hospital, she had open heart surgery and a pig valve in her heart. She was a very sick little girl. <3

      • Pablo05-01-15

        First of all, I’d like to say I’m sorry for your loss. The way you talk about her seems that you guys were pretty close.
        Layne and her were together at the time of her death, or the story that they had broke up before is true?
        Oh, also I’d like to apologize for my poor english. I’m half brazilian / half Japanese and my english is not good yet…
        Thanks for the answer.
        Love your this space, you’re doing a great job. :-)

  24. gacukruhture04-21-14

    Hello there! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with Search Engine Optimization? I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good gains. If you know of any please share. Appreciate it!

  25. KC04-15-14

    I’m not ready to poor my heart out yet but ready to read about the true Layne and not the BS I keep reading online

  26. Sam04-10-14

    Layne lives within

    • Micah04-17-14

      Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 For everything there is a season,
      a time for every activity under heaven.
      2 A time to be born and a time to die.
      A time to plant and a time to harvest.
      3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
      A time to tear down and a time to build up.
      4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
      A time to grieve and a time to dance.
      5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
      A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
      6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
      A time to keep and a time to throw away.
      7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
      A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
      8 A time to love and a time to hate.
      A time for war and a time for peace.

      I think its time to move on, for we don’t worship idols, but God! Love you Layne!

  27. Ricki03-28-14

    Darin; If you’re still reading this, What was your most favourite memory of Layne, and why? Also, the question below too.

    Barbara; I appreciate you’ve opened the comments again. Can I ask, do you think that the ‘recent’ on-stage appearance of Phil Staley at an AiC concert was in bad taste? Or do you see it as a ‘time can heal’ moment?

  28. María03-07-14

    Hi Barbara! Im María from Argentina (Im sorry to say that Im embarrassed to know that Adriana Rubio and I share the same place of birth) Anyway, I just wanned it to say that this page has helped me in so many ways you couldn´t possibly understand. Reading about Layne and Demri makes me fight againts personal daemons harder every day. It´s a tragic but amazing story that has wrapped me up through the years. Sorry if there´s any grammar mistake, its been a long time since I last wrote in English. Please don´t stop posting, this page is an example of how many people loved Layne and Demri (and still does)
    I wish you the very best of all. Good luck and please wrote anything you remember from them, its a pleassure to read you. Love.

    • JOHNNY B03-18-14

      Hey hun im j,Im so glad that people like you and me still love and care for layne .Layne has given me the motivation i needed to give up coke and oxy addiction im now just trying to cut out my weed habbit.Just wanted to say hey and love any one who takes the time to talk about layne and demri .love from the uk .xx johnny b

  29. sandra cantrell01-28-14

    I am a dear friend of of theses people who passed away buy I have to say I married jerry Cantrell ,we are divoreced now knowing than the ledgon lives on with mike starr and my most beloved msn I will ever love in my life was lane Stanley knowing that he has a son I look at lane jr ever day that brightens my spirits for lane I love you and your son loves you too

    • Christine01-28-14

      Sandra,
      I have to say this, your dear friend that you are speaking of name is Layne Staley! Not Stanley! I haven’t heard of any children that Layne left behind, please enlighten us so we can pass he info to Nancy.

    • Sheila01-29-14

      I call BS on this – but please prove me wrong. I have a “hunch” that is there were a “Little Layne” out there we would have heard about it by now.

    • K02-02-14

      Layne doesn’t have a son. Bull s#*t … Lol who is this person…..

    • Lara02-07-14

      Stupid, Layne never had sons. Surely you are a fuckin groupie, you don’t even know how to spell his name.

      Greetings, stupid.

      • Amber09-18-16

        Hey everybody!
        I was debating weather I should comment & respond or not. But thinking on about it for a couple days… I decided too. Even though im still nervous and unsure talking and revealing/reliving uncertainties about my past. Ok… ill get on with it. As simplest as I can. My mother had sex with Layne and dated him off and on during his so called “reclusive” days.. while my mom was young and visiting friends in Seattle. She told me they met at a bar that was semi-close to his condo/appt. My mom wasnt much of a drug user but she was always curious to try and be adventurous with new experiences. So they both got fucked up. Layne blasted the dope (shot it) and the band Minstry on the cd player. My mom snorted the dope but didnt touch the crack, but he did and she was fine with him doing it. Oh and If your wondering if my mom knew of AIC or Layne. The answer is yes and no. She heard one or two of his songs, but didnt realky know who the lead singer was. but after spending time with him some…was more attracted to the man behind the mic and not the singer of a rock band. He played a couple AIC songs for her & some Mad Season demos for her and then they played video games for hours… he barely beat my mom. I asked her what video game it was and she couldnt remember. She did remember a couple pictures he had framed on his wall. Him and Kurt Cobain & Him & his father, Him and the band butt ass naked. Hah. After spending a couple days with together, she left back to where she was living at the time, with friends. And a month went by and she was preggers. Shes not sure if she slept with only Layne or another man. So… she had me. I took her last name and I still dont know who my REAL dad is. For all I know… it could be Layne Staley. That would be cool huh? But sad if he was because hes dad and id never be able to get to know him or he know me. =/ ugh… whatever the case my be. Ill just pretend hes my father. ♥

        • Same Amber09-18-16

          Just wanted to fix and clarify some errors/mistakes I accidentally wrote! Oh and before I clear up some of my mistakes, I wanted to tell you why I was and still am reprehensive about coming out with my story about where I came from & my fuzzy/uncertain past and who fathered me. When my mom finally told me that the guy I thought was my dad was really my stepdad and my actual dad could be a lead singer in a rock band named AIC and if I told anyone they would think im bat shit crazy! and she was embarrassed and ashamed that she didnt tell me that she didnt know who my real dad was and waited for almost 20 some years to tell me. =/

          Oh and off topic. Layne definitely was working on a solo album. He showed and sung some of it to my mom. My mom thinks he finished 2 songs.

          • Same Amber09-18-16

            Oh and a couple more things. He had the most sweetest cat ever! And he was always bragging and talking bout the car he just bought! I think my mom said its named was Sadie. & Layne and Jerry werent on good terms when my mom hung with him. Him and his mom didnt get along so well either! And toward the end of his life he didnt look terrible as people said. He was a little skinnier. Kinda smelled, dirty, his hair was longer, had a couple of abscesses, and old abscess scars. Couple missing teeth. But he didnt have any gangrene or missing fingers or toes…he was an all around nice guy according to my mom. She still misses him. We all do. RIP, Layne. ♥

            • Barbara Dearaujo09-19-16

              Just get a DNA test. I am pretty sure his family would be interested to know you if you were really his kid. But here is my problem with this story….First some troll named Sandra Cantrell commented 2 years ago saying she married Jerry Cantrell…but got pregnant with Layne’s SON but she didnt even know how to spell his name (first or last)? Now you are commenting on the SAME thread… saying you think you are Laynes daughter?…. Haha! This is really not the place to figure that out. Also all the info you have can be found on this website. I dont know if you are a troll looking for attention or if your really a kid who has been told this crazy story by your Mom so I wont call you out… but if you honestly believe your Moms story I would recommend getting in touch with Layne’s Mom and requesting a DNA test. Good Luck!

              • Michelle09-20-16

                Totally I agree not the place to post that if this indeed is what you truly believe…

            • Michelle09-20-16

              I was just wondering if anyone who hhas read this comment on how Layne is my daddy also area what I see everything listed is pretty much public knowledge already Google the shit….people are really sad….

            • Victoria09-20-16

              You said you are twenty, it means you were born in 1996. Layne wasn’t reclusive in 95/96. He didn’t have long hair at that time. This story sounds like a bad fanfic.

              • Michelle09-22-16

                I forgot also being that I’ve been an addict for the last 15 years and I know my self personally when I was in deep I had no sex drive and 2nd neither did others I knew my point is the men addicts I knew always said they could not ejaculate or keep an erection when they would use. And according to you they used then messed around? I’m sorry if I’m wrong about that statement but, everyone is different so….

                • frank06-29-17

                  sooo? amber is michelle?

                  Someone needs CBT?

    • Rob02-23-14

      I remember following this thread and reading it several times almost a year ago now, I guess … right around the reissue of Mad Season’s deluxe edition. I was disappointed that I had missed the initial postings and was disappointed that it was closed, although i could understand why it was. Not to sound redundant or repetitive at all, but I am a huge Layne, AIC, and Mad Season fan (really anything that involved Layne). I’m also a big fan of Mike Starr as a person and a bassist. I was really sorry to hear that he lost his fight with his demons back in ’11, although I never really believed he was totally clean and sober – despite what was being said on celebrity Rehab/Sober house, etc. Loved the ‘Black cloud’ song that is shown with him and his new band on youtube. That song had a ton of potential and proved that Mike still had it on the bass. Anyway, I know that it was already touched on in this thread by Barbara and Darin, but I’m hoping that Barbara might elaborate more on her response, although i would understand if she didn’t. In addition to his talent and musical output, I’ve always been fascinated by Layne’s reclusive years and what his last years, months, and even day were like. My question: does anyone else think that Mike witnessed Layne’s death? I in no way mean to imply anything or speak ill of the deceased – not at all. It’s just that I never really believed Mike’s story of Layne being mad at him because of him being high on benzos and also him “blacking out for 2 weeks”. As someone who takes benzos, I’m not even sure that A 2 week black-out is possible. I really liked Mike and was a huge fan of him and his playing. Plus, AIC’s really helped to shape my life in my formative years and even to this day. Does anyone else think that Mike saw Layne die and then left in a panic due to the circumstances? Again, I’m not justifying it in any way or holding that against him because I think Layne would have passed one way or another regardless, and I’m sure Mike was probably higher than hell when he left Layne on that final day. I could have only imagined the hell, guilt, and shame that he must have carried daily for the last 9 years of his life, if in fact that was the case. Morbid curiosity, I know. Just curious from Barbara’s perspective if she believes that is what in fact happened? i know that she said that she “never really bought his CR story”, but never saw anything further on the matter. I sincerely hope that Layne and Mike are together rocking out today wherever they are. Again, I understand if this question goes unanswered, but figured I’d give it a shot. Definitely cool that everyone who knew these amazing people shared their accounts and stories and definitely appreciated by this fan of Layne, Mike, and AIC. Special thanks to Barbara and Darin for sharing what they have. I haven’t seen anything this “real-time” on any other site on the net – and believe me, I’ve looked.

      • frank06-29-17

        i also doubt about 2 week blackout….
        a week ok,maybe, but 2?
        far-fetched in my opinion…maybe he was a week blacked out, woke up and then a week feeling guilty as fuck for having blacked out for a week while your friend needs help…then finds out it’s over and then the rock dragged him down.

        just a scenario, no facts here

      • c06-29-17

        I think the same exact thing as you. His actions spoke volumes on Celebrity Rehab. I think he was desperately asking for help living in guilt.

  30. Big Bob01-28-14

    The people who run this site are parasites on someone’s legacy and were in no way close to Layne Staley or Demri when they died. Please do not visit this site anymore.. Sincerely – Anon

    • HML01-31-14

      I don’t know anyone associated with this site personally, but it is hard to take you seriously when you post anonymously. If you know that, then why not use your real name to back your statement up? Just sayin’.

      • Barbara02-03-14

        Just ignore the Trolls. If they don’t believe me at this point I don’t know what it would take and honestly I don’t care. :) Stay Cool HML!

        • JOHNNY B02-10-14

          Hello b just a quick question what where layne fav movies please let me know .Dont mind the trolls they are sick sick little cowards dont even fuel um ignore um.Ive been banned of facebook,utube for standing up to there ferrits lol i just ignore now lol a bit to late but hey .Any how please get back hunny …xj

  31. originmob.ge01-18-14

    Normally I really don’t go through submit for blogs and forums, even so need to say that the following write-up incredibly forced us to view plus do it! A person’s way with words has been shocked me. Thank you, rather wonderful write-up.

    • frank06-29-17

      yeah right , bet you went trough submit to have your link on top….

  32. Leah01-18-13

    I feel bad for asking another question..there are just so many posts this is to anyone but hopefully Barbara or Darin can direct me…..which book is the best to read and most accurate on the 90’s lifestyle of AIC?? Thanks

    • Barbara01-18-13

      Since I have not read any of them I would not be the one to ask and I can almost assure you that Darin has not read any of them either… I would love to hear what others think of the books but I’ve personally never seen the point in reading any of them because I knew they would either pist me off or annoy me. I guess since I was there I don’t feel the need to read a book.

  33. Kelly01-17-13

    •My cousin posted this on FB so I thought I would share with the group… Hello, my name is DRUGS – I destroy homes, tear families apart, take your children, and that’s just the start. I’m more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold, the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold. and if you need me, remember I’m easily found, I live all around you, in schools and in town. I live with the rich…, I live with the poor, I live down the street, and maybe next door. My power is awesome; try me you’ll see, but if you do, you may NEVER break free. Just try me once and I might let you go, but try me twice, and I’ll own your soul. When I possess you, you’ll steal and you’ll lie. You do what you have to just to get high. The crimes you’ll commit, for my narcotic charms will be worth the pleasure you’ll feel in your arms. You’ll lie to your mother; you’ll steal from your dad When you see their tears, you should feel sad. But you’ll forget your morals and how you were raised, I’ll be your conscience, I’ll teach you my ways. I take kids from parents, and parents from kids, I turn people from god, and separate friends. I’ll take everything from you, your looks and your pride, I’ll be with you always, right by your side. You’ll give up everything… your family, your home… your friends, your money, then you’ll be alone. I’ll take and take, till you have nothing more to give. When I’m finished with you you’ll be lucky to live. If you try me be warned this is no game. If given the chance, I’ll drive you insane. I’ll ravish your body; I’ll control your mind. I’ll own you completely; your soul will be mine. The nightmares I’ll give you while lying in bed, the voices you’ll hear from inside your head, the sweats, the shakes, the visions you’ll see; I want you to know, these are all gifts from me, But then it’s too late, and you’ll know in your heart, that you are mine, and we shall not part. You’ll regret that you tried me, they always do, but you came to me, not I to you. You knew this would happen. Many times you were told, but you challenged my power, and chose to be bold. You could have said no, and just walked away, If you could live that day over, now what would you say? I’ll be your master; you will be my slave, I’ll even go with you, when you go to your grave. Now that you have met me , what will you do? Will you try me or not? Its all up to you. I can bring you more misery than words can tell. Come take my hand, I’ll take you to hell!

    • Barbara01-18-13

      I did not have to read it all to know it is true..Thanx for sharing.

    • frank06-29-17

      your cousin put it well into words

  34. starla01-16-13

    Demri 22nd February Layne 22nd August

    Pisces and Leo are two markedly different signs, conscious efforts to understand each other and to make adjustments are necessary in order for this relationship to be harmonious. Both of them are incurable romantics and can do well once they adjust to their different styles of love.

    A Leo man is highly expressive in nature and he does so with a dramatic and natural flair that gives him a confidence and nobility that is apparent to all who is around him. This man craves all the best that life can afford him, which applies to food and drink, lifestyle, as well as women. He is highly sentimental and a die-hard romantic. Leo man is generous to the end as well as gracious; warm, affectionate and his lover should have that same self expression. He is a jealous lover but treats his woman like a princess with all he has to give.

    A Pisces woman is simply gracious, warm and affectionate with sprinkle of compassion and intelligence as well. She knows how the human heart loves and would never think of separating herself from such a beautiful quality. She can be naive and unrealistic about the world and other people, but it is simply because she is innocent and assumes the best of her surroundings. Love relationship brings out the best of Pisces woman as she always fits to the shape of her lover and has the highest respect for her man. She is not much on expressing herself but she always gives it her best shot.

    Pisces woman can be as promiscuous as she can be loyal. But she is almost always a woman who is more than likely not try to dominate in any situation over her man. She follows along with her lover’s rules and respects him as well. She does this to appease her Leo man more than fear him. Before entering into a serious relationship, both Pisces woman and Leo man should understand the others’ level of dedication as well as trying to figure out their own. If there is any infidelity to be had in this relationship, rest assured one can see the fury of the Leo man’s roar and Pisces woman getting extremely hurt. If infidelity isn’t a variable, and their love grows stronger there is always a sense of respect but not without a trace of suspicion which is usually present. Any pressure on the Pisces woman can make her slip out of that situation and even more pressure can cause her to disappear.

    Leo man likes to set the ways that the relationship goes. His authority shows through and the rules of the game are laid down. As confident and aggressive as he is, deep down him, he is still worried that his woman may take over, or try to. He is either the debonair romantic with a long list of past and present lovers or a devoted husband who is as loyal as the day is long. His yelling and his pouting do not do anyone any good so to avoid such a scene with delicate worship is best for his woman. If this does not work for Pisces woman she may give up with the relationship. The only thing after this point that upsets him more than losing her is the fact that she didn’t take his advice on the matters at hand before going.

    As with the time their trust and faith increases, the Leo man and Pisces woman share one of the most compatible relationship. They both give each other the freedom and love; they crave for and promise to return to each other’s arms. While she gives the lessons of humbleness to him, he teaches her to be more focused and realistic. There are plenty of skies they glide over and plenty oceans they swim through to make their love stronger and reliable. She respects him and makes him feel bolder and more masculine while the shower of love and pamper given by Leo man, makes her turn into a beautiful rose from a mere little bud. There is always an unspoken mystery in their love which God leaves to them to solve and cherish till eternity.

    The initial attraction between Leo man and Pisces woman is strong and their sexual attraction is even stronger. Everything is beautiful and magical between Leo man and Pisces woman, that is until she gets a dreamy look in her eyes as her mind wanders off. To her, it is a fictitious place she goes where her fantasies are created. To her Leo man, it is a cold look she has because she doesn’t really want to be with him. His pride is hurt, jealousy surfaces and argument incurs. She needs to let her loyal, generous, yet stubborn and proud lover know just how much he means to her. While making love she has to just be with her man and leave her dream world behind. It is quite important for her to do this for her Leo man. It ensures a strong, loyal and protective relationship and their sexual intimacy becomes an eternal experience of passion and romance. There is often a problem here with a union of this kind. Pisces woman can be quite the little flirt, but with Leo man right behind her, she may want to rethink just who she bats her eyes at.

    • Barbara01-18-13

      Oh so true… LOL! Thanx for sharing. Hey you know there are other posts on this blog you guys can comment on.. I get them all. This one is overflowing now. I think I might turn off commenting.

    • donnaeve08-31-17

      Also they are both 22’s master numbers

      Very,very magnetic personalities incarnated to teach

  35. Mattl01-15-13

    Lol I hope my post wasn’t so long winded they didn’t even see my questioni was all over the place

  36. Darin Lamb01-15-13

    Babz, thanks for the unconditional Love.

  37. cd01-15-13

    Hello there everybody. I know this is probably a stupid question to ask, but i’m going to do it anyway. Do you know if Demri had a favorite Cocteau Twins song?

  38. Matt Filetto01-14-13

    for the record i always thought it was about layne that just through me off. honestly i think on celeb rehab i saw a pic of an mag article when they were talking about AIC so i paused it and read it lol. thats where it said that. it also said mike was kicked out of the band for fucking jerrys girlfriend but i dont know if that is true either since it was wrong about love hate love

  39. Matt Filetto01-14-13

    oh p.s. what is love hate love about (its on right now and was wondering, did jerry write it? or layne, it seems like it could either way i heard somewhere it was about jerrys girl though

    • MJ01-14-13

      All you have to do is go to Wikipedia, look up the album and check the tracklisting for writing credits.

      Layne wrote Love, Hate, Love.

      ‘Love, Hate, Love contains possibly the singer’s most personal reflections and represents a purging of inner demons: “That was a song about myself and my girlfriend and I wrote it during a time when I was treating her really badly and didn’t know how to break the pattern. It was kind of therapeutic, you know? When you really don’t know how to break a sick pattern, then you write it down and sing it and it kind of breaks the pattern.”‘
      http://www.adbdesign.com/aic/articles/art160.html

      • Matt Filetto01-14-13

        wow i feel dumb lol. I swear i read the wiki but didnt say that, but that was years ago

      • Natalia01-14-13

        well, this is a bit confusing to me because he said it too:
        “This is about a girl who makes me feel all fluffy inside. . .fucking bitch!” (on the song Love, Hate, Love)

  40. Matt Filetto01-14-13

    Wow i’m a little late to the party but i’m glad this post is still going. I live in Snohomish just north of seattle. I have loved Layne since before i knew it was Layne and alice in chains, I remember hearing Man in the Box when i was like 6 and even remember singing it with an older kid (17) who was driving me home (he worked with my dad) then i re-discovered them in my teens realizing i had missed out completely. I remember the first song i played that i knew was alice in chains was nutshell. My friend had left some mp3s on my pc and it was there. I remember the hair on my neck stood up, to know this was laynes favorite song validates what i thought about layne as a man. completely kind gentle loving and doesn not give a FUCK what others think if he doesnt have it his own he’d feel better dead its a perfect line. its how i feel at times. Ive struggled with dope on in off since i was 19 (i’m 24 now) well on the 22nd, anyways. I know i’m rambling here but i dont even know what to ask you. because i dont want to know the stupid little facts everyone wants to know i just wish i could have been there. when i hear him discribled he seems like such a sweet yet not afraid to be dorky guy. he sounds like me. Demri sounds like my ex-girlfriend i pretty much lost to dope, we werent high at the time but we both had just stopped (she was my dope dealers girlfriend) and was pretty messed up emotionally after getting of dope. it really fucks with you, but it REALLY fucked with her. Then some other shit happened i wont go into but basically i had a family for about a half hour and then it was over cuz of a decision she made. now we cant even talk to each other. I guess i wanna know some werid questions. I thinks this is a given but being from snohomish i gotta ask, layne just diddnt do dope and crack, he partaked in weed sometimes right? lol This is also randiom what ciggerettes did he smoke. What was he like at partys or just small get togethers was he the like “class clown” or was he the quiet guy? or the sarcastic guy with dry humar? (sorry about the spelling i’m typing really fast and i figured you dont mind plus my fingers are shaking i’m kinda excited i guess. Did he have like a favorite candy he had all time time (when i was a dopehead i was obsessed with jolly ranchers for some reason, not saying dope does this or anything it was just at the time lol) did he only have a harley? any other bikes. I’m albino, would he think i’m a dork? Oh and my ex reminds me so much like demri right down to squatting in an alley or sidewalk to take a piss. seen it serveral times myself pretty funny.

    Sorry for the long winded post and i probably should have bullet pointed the questions haha!

    Barb Dartin take your time and Kathleen, all my love to you, you lost a rare, rare , wonderful girl.

    Matt

  41. Ana01-12-13

    Very uncool btw! If it was actually true…

    • admin01-13-13

      Well Ana … I don’t think these young men knew the impact these words would have on society, history or Demri. They had NO CLUE. So yes it may seem mean but to be honest it was meant to be ribbing to their friends.. I don’t think they understood that their ribbing would have such a huge impact. For example.. you can rib your friends and it has a very small impact but when they ribbed their friends it became on a whole new level. I actually feel sorry for their ignorance at how big they had become. I also do not believe this song truly hurt Demri.. because she never brought it up.. I think she actually thought it was more cool then anything that she was just recognized on a song at all. I know that sounds crazy but it is true as far as I know it. Demri got very little recognition at the time and that is why I made this site and why I started posting her pictures and her story 10 years ago.. I wanted people to know who Demri was. Now they do. I am grateful for that.

      • Natalia01-13-13

        but what happened to so severe they get to that point?
        I mean, what was the biggest problem of the members of Alice and Demri?

        • Liz01-14-13

          I don’t think anything happened – it was just meant to be a joke. You know how it goes. I had never even put that together until I saw this thread. How funny. I don’t think there was any animosity between Demri and AIC. She was definitely not a Yoko Ono or anything like that. I have never heard any of the other members bad mouth her. The only thing close to that is when they put Layne in his own bus with Demri but I think she only toured with them at the very beginning.

          • HML01-14-13

            My understanding is that the band resented her over time because if the power she had to affect Layne, which in turn affected the band too. The emotional pull Layne and Demri had over each other, plus their shared addiction affected the band and touring. I think the struggles with touring in the mid 90’s are pretty well documented in various articles. Of course, I do not *know* this. Barbara or Darin would know the accurate information. I just always figured there was some truth to this, because it sort of fits with when the band started having internal trouble. ???

            • Liz01-14-13

              I think the main problem was his drug use, not Demri. If it was a problem for her that he was gone, she was allowed to go with him, right? They put her likeness on the cover of Dirt….then she died in 96, so that’s why I don’t think they hated her…they weren’t always together through those years, anyway.

      • Ana01-15-13

        Thank you Barb for answering our questions.. I think I can see your point now, maybe it wasn’t really that big of a deal… still, not my favourite AIC song haha.

  42. Ana01-12-13

    I read somewhere that ”Kill the midget” was about Demri.. is that true?

    • MJ01-13-13

      Isn’t Sean saying “kiss the midget”, not kill…

      • admin01-13-13

        To be honest… I thought it was about Demri and Darin used to laugh and say it was about Demri but I never asked Demri if it was or not and I never asked Layne. Never cared enough to ask I guess.. but this is the actual lyrics..

        Go fuck yourself
        Rae Dong Chung

        Get something, get, get them, get them
        Get them, get the fuckin’ midget
        Get the midget
        Get the fuckin midget
        Kiss the fuckin’ midget
        “Where the deer and antelope play…”
        Kiss the midget

  43. Be01-10-13

    Hi there Barbara and Darrin,

    I just wanted to say Happy New Year to you both and thank you so much for sharing your heart felt memories with us. It can’t be easy for you and it means so much.

    I just wanted to ask if Layne and Demri were together around the time ‘Singles’ was being made? And were you hanging out heaps with them at this point? I was thinking it would have been cool if Demri was in a background scene…I read somewhere the bands involved didnt like the film. How did you feel about it?

    Sorry if this question has been asked. Cheers!

    • Isabelle01-13-13

      Be I just saw Singles this past week and I was asking the same questions like why wasn’t Demri in this movie since she was a local and aspiring actress at the time. She should have been in it.

  44. Cate01-07-13

    Barbra and Darin I wanted to ask although off topic about the Gits? I saw a program on Mia Zapata and wondered if your paths ever crossed?
    So, much talent and both of you at the focal point of musical history.
    Also, is Demri a short form name? I believe her siblings names all started with the letter Z.
    The long johns and the tutu in Canadian alley is priceless. Lol

    • Liz01-08-13

      I know Barb is probably super busy now and Darin so I can answer a couple of your questions. Demri is the full name. Demri Lara Parrott (Murphy). Her mom said that she had planned to name her Erin Lynn but she changed her mind the night before she was born. Demri is the oldest child and the only girl

      All the siblings’ names start with “D”. Demri, David, Derek, and Devin.

      I haven’t heard if they know her or not. What happened to her was so so horrible.

      • admin01-09-13

        Thank you Liz for answering the questions. I am SUPER busy right now and I also get a little overwhelmed with all the questions. I’m sure I could spend all day go over this stuff over and over but I choose not to. So, Thank you for helping out. That rocks. I did not know Mia.. but I know what happened to her and it was another horrible story of abuse against women. Horrible evil.

        • MJ01-14-13

          Kind of disappointing that you and Darin made a big deal of answering questions, and then only get around to answering less than half.

          • Jesse01-14-13

            People have lives too. Maybe spending all your time in front of the computer is important to you..but Barb may actually have a life outside of this blog. You probably wouldn’t want D to respond to your response cuz he might test ya up.

          • HML01-14-13

            Wow. You do realize that when they do answer questions or post here, it is their choice, right? It isn’t as if they are obligated to give anyone answers about anything. Being disappointed to not find anything new is one thing, but you aren’t entitled to the information. These are THEIR memories to choose to share or not, ya know?

          • MJ01-14-13

            Okay, your arguments would make more sense if it wasn’t for the fact that this post was made in June and its now January. Its not as if two days have passed and I’m complaining about the lack of answers. Doesn’t it take money to run a website? I would think someone would spend a little more time on it, especially since only two posts have been made since this one. But that’s just my thought process.

          • admin01-14-13

            Check it out MJ.. Like HML said it is our choice when we decide to answer questions, we are not obligated to anyone to answer these questions..we only do it out of our love for our friends memories and the fans and that is why we’ve agreed to share our stories with you. How dare you complain that we don’t do it enough! Do you see that this post has been going on for MONTHS now??? How often do you see that online? Are we supposed to be answering every question on a daily basis.. would that make you happy? Duh.. of course it would. But sorry that is not up to you. AND yes running a site does take money but guess who’s money runs this site? Yep. MINE! This is MY site. I designed it, I write it, and I update it when I decide I want to update it and I also pay for it so screw you for complaining.

  45. Sean01-06-13

    It is so sad to see people die from a disease when there is an alternative. I watched my Dad do it (who was found 10 years and one day after Layne was found), and just reading about Layne’s last years and his GF as well dying, is just sad. Whats really sad is there is a solution to the problem. Layne’s worst enemy was probably his success. This enabled him to sit in a condo and indulge in his disease, with no way to stop. Most addicts are not afforded this luxury. It was a recipe for death. No one could stop him, and I feel for those who had to sit and watch. HOWEVER, for those who are addicted, there is another way to live. Sure, your not going to be able to walk into a meeting and get straight, but go to a detox, and then get out and follow some suggestions and you will stay clean. If you cant find a detox, go to a meeting, and ask for help. Tell them you are going to kick…Someone will help you. Do not die from this disease like Layne did.

  46. Liz01-05-13

    I’ve been having a lot of Layne dreams lately – like nightly. And several Demri ones, too. Isn’t it weird how our mind can imagine and dream them up with a voice and all that in a dream. Crazy stuff, man.

  47. pingu01-05-13

    do you know if Layne gave that last interview to Adriana Rubio? is she made that up or is true?

    sorry if my english is bad.thank you

    • pingu01-06-13

      i found what you think,thank you
      do you know about is song sludge factory?

    • Liz01-07-13

      I really really really do not think he gave that interview. If he even spoke to her, he would never have quoted his own song lyrics to her. Layne would think that was ridiculous. I would never imagine him doing that.

  48. JILL01-05-13

    PS- Jerry seems like a Tool

  49. JILL01-05-13

    I have been thinking of some questions to ask-

    Did Layne know how amazing his voice really was? How talented he was?

    Did he really enjoy performing or was it all a bit to overwhelming for him? I read that he didn’t want to go mainstream, but Jerry did. (Here say I know)

    I know this is wrong to ask because it doesn’t matter, I am just curious. (No judgement here I promise, we all have our own demons) When and how was Layne first exposed to drugs? Were all of the other band members using as well? And if they were, do you believe he couldn’t get better because he couldn’t get away from them?

  50. JILL01-05-13

    Barbara/Darin:
    First off all I want to thank you, for opening yourselves up to fans of Layne and Alice in Chains. I have to admit, of course I have heard of Alice in Chains, but not till I was at work listening to a song with one of my co-workers did I truly fall in love and appreciate Layne’s voice (not to discredit the other band members). Layne was a rare talent, he was a brilliant talent and poet, and his voice…I don’t even have the words to describe how amazing and talented he was. I am completely fascinated with this man (not in a creepy stalking way). I swear I could listen to him sing all day. I know this is terrible to say, but I can’t help but wonder if he could have been saved. A part of me says Yes, but the other part of me says life didn’t hold the same meaning to him after Demri died. I know his drug use didn’t define him, and I do not wish to put a lot of focus on that, because I know it has been beaten to death. It is just so tragic. I would love to be able to sit down and have a conversation with him, really find out about him and the type of person he was. I think I have gone a little overboard…sorry I am a chatterbox. Anyway, thank you for your time, and your love and loyalty you still feel for Layne.

  51. Rae01-04-13

    Sorry I forgot to ask what were some of Layne’s favorite movies artists ect and was he really as fun and goofy as he was in some interviews i’ve seen? Haha he just always seemed liek he had kinda a quirky sense of humor but in a great way!

  52. Rae01-04-13

    First of all I’d like to say how awesome it is of you guys to open up and share your stories about Layne. I’m not sure if this is still going on but I figured it was worth a shot! I remember hearing Dirt (the song not the whole album) in the car when i was about six or seven. It scared me shitless but i also loved it and was fascinated in some weird way. 7 years later (I’m 14 now) I have explored more of AIC and Mad season’s music and loved it just as much. Anyway, I was wondering what Layne’s childhood was like. I know he had a bad relationship with his bio dad but what about his mom siblings ect? Also, what made Layne want to become a musician or did it just kinda happen? Thanks again, I hope I’m not to late!

  53. A12-25-12

    I get that us fans are really touched by AIC’s music and Layne too for that matter, and that their music has been something to lean on on dark times, but my God people chill, some comments above are reaching the intensity of teenager hormonal changes. I am a HUGE fan too but I just couldn’t help myself from writing this.

    • Jesse12-25-12

      People deal with stuff their own ways. Makes life interesting.

  54. Jesse W.12-25-12

    Yes..it was a pretty tough time. I’m just a young guy..but last fall/winter..was a pretty tough time. It involved being REALLY sick…surgery..and depression. All I listened to was AIC and Layne..and his poetic words helped me. It’s amazing to see this thread transpire to what it has become today. I was here from the beginning! Now its at like 485 posts and counting. It’s amazing to see how many people truly care. Barbara is an amazing person..and Darin..that man is a saint I feel. They are great people. Oh..and I remember reading that you sometimes have dreams? Don’t feel embarassed..there are a few of us who have had them. They come and go..randomly. I remember the most vivid dream I had..D and I closely shared the same..so you never know what’s going on. This all has been a sort of spiritual journey for me. It has changed the way I view life..and how not to take the little things for granted anymore. Something as small as a chance encounter on a website turned into friendships and stories. People helping one another and just BEING with one another. I believe this site has done what Layne wanted..bringing people together and helping. It’s a powerful thing and Barbara and D should be very proud.

    • Jesse W.12-25-12

      :Not to say I know what Layne wanted..but I’m sure he’s proud :D

  55. Eric12-25-12

    Jesse, I am a huge AIC fan and I found this website I guess maybe the same way you did.I had questions of my own about Layne and Demri. It’s almost embarrassing to say this but I have had dreams about Layne too. I don’t know if its because I’ve been reading so much about him or what.I play music and AIC was always a big inspiration of mine.I think that some of their songs really did get me through some of my own hard times.I am blessed to have a healthy life and family now and I think looking back at an artist that really inspires someone as much as they did me then one cant help but wonder about sometimes about that artist own personal life. I noticed that you were from Missouri and so am I.I just thought that was really neat. I would also like to give my thanks to Darin and Barbara for sharing their memories. It really helps to personify Layne and Demri and that is a very cool feeling.

    • Jesse12-25-12

      Yes..I had come across this site a little over a year ago. Barbara helped me through a really tough time in my life. I had listened to AIC for a long time..but I wanted to learn more about Layne. He’s one helluva guy. There’s a lot of attributes that remind me of myself. He was such a beautiful soul. I did have dreams… Darin and I got in contact and it was one of the most soul wrenching things I’ve ever experienced. I know theres a reason for all this…just don’t know what. Layne not only inspires me to follow my passions. But inspires me to be a better human being. I love Barb and D as if I were there experiencing it all with them. They truly have touched my life in ways that nobody can.

      • Eric12-25-12

        That’s an awesome story .I just discovered the sight myself it is very insightful. It just leaves a sense of comfort knowing you can speak that freely and it not fall on deaf ears.I believe this sight has done more than answer curiosity about Layne and Demri.It helps you realize the power of friendship and understand that even our hero’s struggle at times and that they too are normal people who cope with life’s obstacles and even the good times in the presence of friends.Hope you have overcome all of your obstacles and from what hear about Layne,I’m sure he would be happy to know that he may have contributed to your rise.Very cool man

  56. Jesse12-24-12

    I’m in a “mood” again. Not sad..just…thinking. I read on another site about a pair of sunglasses that was supposedly stolen. I was just doin a late night search and found it. I was reading through the comments and there was a lot of ripping on Nancy and other fans. I honestly didn’t know what to take as the truth and what was a lie. This site was mentioned Along with D by a guy named Todd. There was ALOT of back and forth over the state of Laynes belongings..rightful ownership..and a ton of “Nancy get over it..it was 10 years ago..let the fans see his stuff” Im just making a mere observation and writing down some thoughts. On one hand…I’m not sure what the relationship was like between Layne and Nancy..so I’m not sure if Nancy wanting to keep all his belongings is selfish..or motherly love? I mean this as NO disrespect whatsoever. Like I said..I was completely confused on sides and arguments. But..it all comes down to..that I didn’t like the negativity on both sides. IT’S A PAIR OF FUCKING SUNGLASSES!..Barb or D..correct me if I’m wrong in any way..I just..I didnt like the portrayal of Layne or Nancy by that particular website. Again..I mean absolutely no disrespect. I wish people could know the absolute truths so arguments don’t break out. I’ve spoke enough now. I’ll go back and keep my silent watch over the site :)
    Jesse W.

  57. haley12-16-12

    Demri is on the cover of Dirt. There are many other pics which show her in good condition and posing for Dirt.

    • J12-16-12

      Demri is not on the cover of Dirt. Barb could confirm this as well. There are photos of the model you posed for the cover on google.

      • Barbara12-16-12

        OMG for the 100th time Demri is not the “look-alike Demri” on the cover of Dirt and yes this pissed her off and hurt her feelings. VERY MUCH!

        • mel12-21-12

          love this site, seems like the only place to get information, that’s not the same old recycled info. Keep doing what your doing you guys :)
          Anyway, what I have the most questions about, tend to pertain to Laynes lyrics. They where just so dark and poetic. I’ve been listening mad season a lot lately, and was kind of curious about the lyrics to I’m Above. At first I assumed it was about Demri, but now I think it might be about Laynes relationship with Jerry and Alice. What do you think?

        • Isabelle12-27-12

          Hi Barbara, I just found your website about a month ago and it has been so therapeutic for me. I have so
          many questions! Did Demri ever go into rehab?

          • Liz01-07-13

            Yes she went to rehab a few times.

        • Isabelle01-07-13

          Barbara, I just feel so bad that Demri was an aspiring actress and model and she never was in any movie or commercial,there isn’t any video of her or anything, did she ever take steps to achieve her goals? Do you think she would have made it in show business ?

    • Bran12-20-12

      you aren’t the first and won’t be the last person to keep WRONGFULLY insisting that that’s Demri on the cover. I think it’s all just wishful thinking.
      no matter how much you want it to be her, it simply isn’t.

      the girl on the cover is model/actress Mariah O’Brien.

    • Liz01-07-13

      Demri’s own mother is quoted as saying that it is NOT DEMRI on the cover. Layne got a look alike for some reason, don’t know why. Demri’s mom said it irritated Demri that people always asked her if that was her and hey aren’t you Layne’s girlfriend. There is an entire article written in one of the rock magazines about Mariah O’Brien who they used and how she couldn’t get up all day from the floor while they were building the set around her and she almost had to wear a diaper.

      • Dee01-08-13

        I thought that Layne had nothing to do with who was going to be on the cover of dirt. He gave an interview and he said that he didn’t even know the girl and he laugh because she looked so much like Demri and that his girlfriend was upset about the cover. One of Demri’s friend told us that when Demri left school she legal changed her last name from Murphy to Parrott (stage name) career move. So what is the real truth about these stories?

        • Liz01-09-13

          No that is no coincidence that a short girl with long brown hair with Demri’s face practically. If Layne didn’t have a hand in deciding it, then someone else knew their story and put it like that. Layne had a say so in what the album cover was. For Mad Season, he was very strict and told them to use the picture he drew and to make no changes. Pretty cool that he put her in some form on 2 of his album covers. And nobody had heard of Demri because we weren’t doing the internet in 1992 so people outside of the Seattle area I guess didn’t know he had this girlfriend. I didn’t even find out about Demri until after he passed. I think Demri liked the attention since she wanted to be a star.

          Did you know her name is pronounced Pa row…I always thought it was Parrot…had a suspicion but that it was Parrot. lol

          • MJ01-09-13

            From the first moment I saw her last name, I pronounced it Pa-row. I never thought it was “parrot”. I don’t even know what compelled me to pronounce it pa-row. I just didn’t think parrot sounded right as a last name.

  58. kevin12-15-12

    going to rehab next week. can’t fight it on my own. anyone on here that is hooked- get help ASAP cause it only gets worse. I can’t imagine how tired Barbara is about this junk.

    • Christine12-15-12

      Good luck Kevin! You can do it, not gonna bullshit you its hard as hell and you gotta really want to be sober but once you are life is so much sweeter! If u need to talk cdunn1977@gmail.com good luck brother!
      Christine

  59. Ann12-14-12

    Did she get sick all at once or more gradually with what caused her to need the heart valve? Did she try to help herself and did others try? If these are too personal I understand. I follow your site because it brings me back to people I lost in the early 90s when I worked as a waitress in my young 20s who got into drugs and some heroin. I saw people who completely changed, were terrified snd couldn’t esacape. It is so very sad, no one should pay that kind of price no matter what. I hope hour site inspires people to nEver try hard drugs. Blessings for your kindness and sharing.

    • frank06-29-17

      if only some of you read instead of asking answered questions. Do your homework before asking questions.
      Trying to be as polite as possible but getting a bit annoyed with people always asking the same questions more annoying even when they already been answered.

  60. KenH12-12-12

    Been reading this site for the past week or so…thanks for starting this, it’s wonderful to remember the good times he gave us!
    I think most people who ask the ‘dumb’ questons are genuinely curious about Layne. I went to Woodstock ’94 and sadly only Cantrell played (w/ Primus) I missed my opportunity but loved these guys from the time I heard Man in a Boz/Would on the Singles soundtrack!
    Layne sounds like a good person at heart, so talented and charismatic…during his rise in the early 90’s and the bad years to follow – I am curious about his relationship with his sisters, how Demri got along with his family…how the band members tried to help him etc? Demri’s last years seemed even more tragic with the tidbits we hear…sad because that was someone’s daughter!!

    • Barbara12-12-12

      Yes, she was someone’s daughter.. Kathleen Austins daughter and you can read what she has to say on this post in her comment and on this post as well: http://www.rememberlayne.com/blog/2012/10/anniversary-of-dems-passing-a-note-from-her-mom/

      In regards to how Layne’s family treated Demri.. I don’t remember them being around to be honest. Except for Layne’s Dad and he was just as messed up as everyone else.
      The last years of Dem’s life were horrible.. in and out of the hospital with a death sentence hanging over her head which would be hard to take for any 28 year old.
      Glad to hear you’ve enjoyed the website.

  61. taurus_girl12-10-12

    Was looking at some old AIC videos and wondered if this could be Demri at 8:02…kind of hard to see clearly but whoever it is was talking too http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xC068USZuAk

  62. bgregs9212-09-12

    Hi there,
    My name is Brandon Gregory and I am a huge AIC/Layne Staley fan from Toronto Canada. Layne means the world to me as a musician and as a person who was able to be so honest about his demons and struggles. His verse in “Don’t Follow” has the ability to pick me up from the darkest hole at any time, and for that I am so grateful that you two are so willing to read comments from us fans and tell us honest accounts of your experiences with a dude that millions love who have never met him. We all know that Layne was among the most caring and fun loving guys who ever lived through various interviews we’ve seen and stories we’ve heard.

    I’m sorry if this has been asked before, as I haven’t had the time to read all of the questions that have been posted; but how was he able to be such a beacon of stability for people who would open up to him and remain such a happy go lucky fun guy among his friends and band mates even through his obvious emotional, psychological, and physical pain of his addictions? Was his ability to express himself through his lyrics and the love of his friends like you two, among others, exactly what our friend Layne needed to last so long before the seclusion of addiction ultimately consumed him?

  63. stoney12-08-12

    Sorry, Demri

  64. stoney12-08-12

    As long as people keep talking about them and inquiring with your help Barbara. Whether it be more stories, photos, or perhaps even some footage, something positive will come of it. I was on one of your sites and saw a picture of Demi and Layne kissing. If I knew absolutely nothing about their relationship, that one picture would tell me everything I needed to know. Keep up the good work.

  65. Mara12-07-12

    Sorry to fill you with hope, I’m a little frustrated too. But let’s not give up girls! We’ll also find a video of Demri! I know this!!! Thanks Barbara :)

  66. Mara12-06-12

    Barbara, I found an interview of ALC at the backstage of Lolapalooza in 1993 and the good news is that Demri was caught by the camera . She was talking to another guy right behind Layne and she was wearing black shirt and shorts. Well, I found two videos with the same interview, but I can not post the comment with the link and I do not know why. So go to youtube and search for this:
    watch?v=dBZm-_6Qa3k
    and this: watch?v=LL29f0AehNI
    The second one has just a part of the interview becouse it also has Primus and Tool too, but the image quality is better. Greetings from Brazil!:)

    • Natalia12-06-12

      Mara yeah! it’s definitely her :D
      c’mon Dem make a goof to us

      • Mara12-06-12

        Yes Natalia,we found her!! Finally a video of Demri!! Oh I forgot to mention that in the second video at the min 2:59, when Riki is interviewing Primus, Demri simply appears walking in front of the camera. Haha very funny!! It´s very fast, but is Demri!!

      • admin12-07-12

        Sorry Natalia.. that is once again.. not her. You can ask some of her other friends what they think but in my opinion it is 100% some other long haired brunette in converse not Demri.. Dem would never dress so plain at a show for one… haha. Sorry I wish it was her too!!! More then anything I would love to see a video of her again… to see her in motion. I would love that. :(

        NOT DEMRI…

        • Natalia12-07-12

          I was even missing the goof :( you know
          thanks Barb

      • admin12-07-12

        You can hear what some of her other friends had to say on my Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ibdreamy/posts/381688648585776?comment_id=2346278
        Also the girl singing with Seventh Sign.. that is not her either… the guy who took the seventh sign video even commented on Youtube saying that she was his good friend from NJ and people STILL to this day insist that it is her. :( Sorry guys.. we all wish more then anything there was one out there but so far… nothing. Maybe someday we’ll get to see her cute and funny self again moving about. That would be such a gift. I’d just love to hear her voice again. Same with Rosheen.. I wish I had video and more pictures of Rosheen too. So sad that we don’t.

        • Laura Jayne12-08-12

          oh! I actually didn’t see the comment about the Seventh Sign video and it being another girl. oops. I guess it was just wishful thinking!

  67. Laura Jayne12-05-12

    Hi everyone! And hi to Barbara and Darin from here in England, UK. It feels to me like a huge honour to actually speak to people who knew both Layne and Demri personally as I’ve been a hardcore AIC fan for quite some years now. I’m always pretty rubbish with thinking of questions to ask haha but I guess I always wondered as to whether you knew who the girl was in this video? I’m curious as to whether it is Demri? I was searching for her on youtube and came across this video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwqUKn-7Aq8 maybe it’s not her and I’ll feel pretty silly lol but I guess it can’t hurt to ask. Hope you guys are all doing good. peace!

  68. Kelly D.12-05-12

    Thanks for the stories :) I’ve enjoyed making it to the bottom of this thread. I loved Layne. I named my daughter Jayda Layne!

    • Sarah12-09-12

      Aww, my daughter’s name is Jada, but spelled different than yours.

  69. Soulraingr12-05-12

    Hello all,
    Barbara and Darin, thank you so much for sharing your memories and stories with us; that is very brave of you both. I hope I have not posted too late… But here are my questions…

    I find beauty in the co-occurrence of contradictions, and I believe what makes Layne so special is the fact that I see many contradictions in him… Maybe you can help clarify…

    When I say he is full of contradictions, I am pointing out that his strong, hard, yet soulful voice does not match his appearance, which looks quite vulnerable; he hated his addiction, yet cut off anyone who tried to intervene and help. I read somewhere that he, initially, wanted stardom and fame and the life of a rockstar, yet when he achieved that, he seemed to withdrawl a bit from the spotlight and maintain his privacy, why do you think that is so? Can you help to clear up any of these contradictions as well as any others I have not mentioned?

    Also, a question specifically to you Barbara, I imagine what it was like in Seattle, in the scene, late 80’s, early 90’s, can you please paint a picture of what it really was. When I imagine it, I don’t really see as much partying and darkness as I see a lively environment, a coming of age, freedom, and friendship – a type of exploration. Can you please tell me what it was like?

    Any feedback would be much appreciated! Thank you all; this forum is a really good thing.
    -Linda A.

  70. Jesse11-28-12

    Oh..and p.s….Layne helped me find my music again. My spirit hasn’t been more at peace..as I hope his is. Love ya Layne

  71. admin11-27-12

    I’ve decided to delete all responses to and about you know who.. she does not deserve our time or our energy. Let’s continue to keep it positive, Thanx to everyone for their support. :) RIP Layne, Mike, Rosheen and Demri

    • HML11-28-12

      Good call. Seems like there is always someone in any conversation that wants to kick around dirt, but that doesn’t mean they need to be given any attention. :-)

      • Jesse11-28-12

        Darin and Barb,
        Been thinkin about ya guys lately. Hope you are well. Miss our chats.
        -Jesse

  72. Robbie11-26-12

    Barbara and Darin:

    Thank you for sharing your memories with us. I have left one or two other comments about what good memories you have (Barbara) brought back for me & maybe some not so good ones as well…of my time in Seattle during the 90’s. I’m still here, but having a much different & peaceful life like you. :) Here is my question: Darin told about meeting Layne through a women named “Mara” in the U-District and then Wallingford. When I read that something in my brain clicked and I remembered knowing a girl named Mara (and her boyfriend…he was tall, long hair, etc and in a band since he talked about royalty checks.) We (ex-husband and I…he left one day when I final stopped trying to “fix/rescue” him from heroin) met Mara at ( I think) The Storeroom Tavern on Eastlake. We lived in a new building on Yale Ave behind Carolina Court. We also hung out at Zak’s on 5th when we moved to Lower Queen Anne. Anyway, Darin’s comment re: Mara just started all of these memories flooding back for me and was wondering if she was the same person I knew. She eventually had an affair w/my EX and then moved to Vegas to manage a big thrift store there. This could all be nothing, but I wanted to ask. Thanks again for sharing your memories and also, thanks for helping me remember the good things about Seattle in the 90’s…there were many. Hoping you and Darin are well. Happy Holidays.

  73. smplgal11-18-12

    Did the tatts come before angry chair or after? whats the story?

  74. Azra11-13-12

    I was wondering, was there any other man in Demri’s life before or after Layne you knew about that meant something to her?

  75. Doda11-12-12

    Hi Barbara and Darin.

    I always wanted to know how Demri’s voice was. It’s hard to explain through Internet, and I know that if there’s videos of her, the owners won’t publish them and I don’t hope they do that. But her voice will always be a mistery to me. So, I won’t ask about that.

    Hmm the last thursday, I had a dream where I read Layne liked Nietzsche’s quotes. Did Layne or Demri read about or liked Nietzsche? I know it’s an odd question but I’m thinking about that since then.

    What Layne and Demri liked to do when they were with you guys? What were the places they wanted to visit? Did Demri had a nickname for Layne and/or vice versa?

    Greetings and thanks for the site, Barbara :) and sorry for the bad english, I’m from Argentina.

    • Mara12-06-12

      Doda, I read a comment from a dear close friend of Demri. She said that Demri had a raspy voice. Maybe Barbara could confirm this for us!;)

      • frank06-29-17

        so it might be her in the mother love bone documentary clip the guy commented 20 to 50 comments bellow, where you see and hear her voice for a second or 2.

        • frank06-29-17

          ….or maybe not..dont know barb and darin have not commented on the clip so…bullshit until confirmation

        • Lea06-29-17

          Hey Frank,
          what’s this documentary you were referring to?

          • frank06-29-17

            It’s in the comments somewhere will find and report in a couple minutes… ;)

          • frank06-29-17

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gskCCemCzsU

            there it is, but does not look like her upon further inspection but i don’t know maybe i’m wrong.

            • Lea06-29-17

              Thanks! I can see why people would think that’s Demri, but I don’t think it’s her. It may sound stupid but I think it would be interesting to know what her voice sounded like.

  76. Christine11-09-12

    Layne had a voice like no other. And his music with A.I.c and mad season have ALWAYS lifted me up if I needed and let me rock out too. I am a 35 married mother of 2 girls and I am Proud my girls sing along with Junkhead, brother,and basically anything else when they hear Layne. I have also battled a pain Med addiction and its no joke.. I just told my 11 year old today man if layne was still alive can u even begin to comprehend how his art or music would be today? And she dug what I meant!! Awesome thanks Barbara an Darin,, I’m Sure our dark angel is smiling down both of you!! God bless you both.

    CHRISTINE

  77. BB11-04-12

    First of all, I would like to thank both Darin and Barbara for opening up and sharing your memories. Like all of you, Layne touched my life though I never had the opportunity to meet him. I have been battling addiction for over seventeen years, so I know very well the darkness that it can bring. That being said, I felt a connection to Layne’s voice, journey and message. I am a deeply spiritual person- not religious necessarily, but I know that there is something greater out there. That being said, I wanted to share a personal story that happened to me. In August 2012, I believe I had a visitation in a dream from Layne. This was a very different type of dream- I hesitate to even use that word. It felt so real and was so moving, yet I have never told anyone because I fear ridicule or being labeled a “nutcase”.

    Layne and I were standing- talking. I wish I could remember everything he said to me. I do, however, remember saying these words to him as I sobbed uncontrollably- “I am so sorry I was not there to help you. I did not know… I was just a kid. I am so sorry I could not help you…” Something along those lines. He told me several things, but I hate that I cannot recall what it was. He hugged me while I cried and said those things- reassuring me everything was okay. I woke up feeling different- after ten years of feeling an agony of the pain he must have felt, I felt relieved. I felt that he was okay- that he was safe and not suffering anymore. He was beautiful in the dream- long hair, young and untouched by addiction. I don’t remember much else. I apologize if this post is out of line. I just wanted to share what I experienced. When I read that Darin and others had been visited as well, it brought me peace. I’m crying right now just sharing this…

    • admin11-04-12

      BB,

      Well you are not alone. I have been told several stories from people now about Layne coming to them in dreams and another one where he actually showed up in a surveillance video camera and the image was transfixed on the screen for awhile and it also happened to be on April 4th the day of his passing. Then Darin has had dreams and my friend Jesse has had very vivid dreams of Layne as well.. and Jesse has never met Layne either… So your not alone in that. Not sure what it means … if it’s real or what. No clue. I recently had a dream about Demri.. and we were fighting in my dream LOL.. not sure over what just smart ass remarks as usual. Haha! I don’t think your crazy. Dreams are there for a reason. What the reason is. I don’t yet know.

      • Bianca12-13-12

        My apologies for the delayed response. Thank you to all who replied to my “dream” visitation from Layne. I don’t know if Layne was interested in numerology, but he seemed to be open-minded when it came to religion/spirituality and he seemed to be more self-aware than most. I believe that the number 7 had some strong influence in his life.

        • Bianca12-13-12

          An interesting numerological find – “The number 7 seems to cast a creepy shadow in Layne’s short life. Staley was the original singer for Alice in Chains, and while other numbers in his chart are energies concerned with accomplishment and success, 7′s isolating force looms. It was his attainment number, and his age when he died, 34, adds up to a 7, his personal year was a 7 the year he died, and his personal day on April 5, 2002 was a 7.”

          Perhaps his higher self knew his destiny. The interview clip on Headbanger’s Ball, he’s wearing a jersey with the number “34”. Just observations.

    • Jesse11-04-12

      No need to feel embarassed. At one point or another we all have those connections. I contacted barb and darin and sometimes its spooky weird how similiar dreams are. I had a connection with him too. We were sitting on a couch..face to face. He was smoking a cigarette and had his long wavy hair. He had on a ragged tye dye bandanna sorta thing..we just talked..I remember crying and telling him I was sorry I couldn’t help. He took a drag off his cigarette..hugged me..and told me its alright. He’s at peace..whats done is done and all he can do now is wait. I believe for those of us who truly take him and dem in true reverance in our hearts..are the ones who they seek. I know by the stories that have been shared..of the kind of people they were..and are. I hope you win your struggle with addiction. Hang tough and no matter how hard remember..its alright.

      • frank06-29-17

        i feel you man
        i send all my love

    • admin11-04-12

      Sorrry your upset tonight… I wish I could be there with you and tell you it’s all going to be OK but even that I can not predict that is up to you alone.
      I did want to mention in my dream about Demri which was about a week ago.. I as mad at her.. she was not mad at me.. and I remember yelling at her which I rarely did in real life.. it was like I was telling her off for all those times I kept my mouth shut. Telling her to slow down to get it together to stop doing what she was doing… etc.. very strange and now that I think about it… it was around the anniversary of her passing as well and I did not even put two and two together until JUST NOW! Weird huh?

  78. Snowflake11-02-12

    Barbara/Darrin:

    I have been coming to this website for a long time. REally appreciate what you have done for us here – I love all you have shared. This site has been especially helpful for me in recent weeks, as a good friend of mine was recently murdered. Ironically, I used to always tell him that he sorta looked like Layne. He had that same build and fair look with blonde hair. They really did look alike! And he was artistic as hell too – didn’t do music, but there’s so many people in our community who can show you a beautiful tattoo that he did for them. Just missing him alot these days and hoping they catch the bastard who cut his life short. he was only 29 and had his whole life ahead of him. :( I know how it hurts to lose a friend and I think it’s beautiful that you two are dedicated to keeping the memory of your friends alive.

  79. Leah11-01-12

    Barbara and Darrin,
    Thanks for allowing us into this world and letting us comment its truly wonderful! It must be hard for your headspace to go back to that time of memories and the feelings back then and then have to pull yourself into the current world….although im sure it makes you appreciate everyday life so much more.
    The photos of Demri are amazing she was so photogenic and you can see the magic she radiates…from all the descriptions you can imagine how she was before any lifestyle choices may have overruled.
    I wish you both all the love luck and support..
    If anyone has any more photos or videos they are happy to share please step foward its what helps the families and friends to heal..

  80. Sheila10-30-12

    Barbara – Thank you for opening your heart full of memories to us. You didn’t have to, but we appreciated everything you share. You have cleared the path of plenty of BS that was spewed before you.

  81. Katy10-29-12

    Rest in peace Dem..

  82. T10-29-12

    Rest In Peace Demri

  83. Eric10-25-12

    Derrin please give me a call.I’m worried about ya.I’m praying you are on the same path I last saw ya.awe Fuck I guess I shouldn’t worry about a fellow diehard as much but I can’t get through to you.just let me know how yer doin my Ninja!206~313~0245

  84. taurus_girl10-22-12

    Anyone know if this is Demri singing with Layne? Someone named Tammy McNeil claims that it’s her in the comments but it looks a lot like Demri. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQA98ZTJDTc

    • DeeDee10-22-12

      No not Demri.

  85. Donna10-20-12

    Who is Koa?

  86. Gricel10-19-12

    Oh, and I looked up Tanya Feces – oops! I mean Veces…

    I don’t know if anyone else saw this, but all I could think was: WTF??

  87. Gricel10-18-12

    Hey, Barbara and Darin! It’s taken me about three weeks to read through all the comments, but it has been well worth it! This site is incredible. I’ve often been brought to tears, but I have also laughed and reminised on those long gone days. You are both awesome, and I hope that you decide to colaborate on a book. Even if it isn’t about Layne and Demri. write about yourselves. Your lifestyle and experieces durin the grunge era. You are sitting on pure gold. I would be the first in line to buy it and get it signed!!

    My heart goes out to all the people here struggling with personal demons. I wish you the very best, and that you may one day overcome them and be free from them. Other than taking a puff here and there from a blunt, I’ve never done drugs, nor known anyone personally who has stuggled with anything other than alcoholism. Sometimes I drink and eat more than I should, but I lead a mostly vice-free existence. We’ve lost so many wonderful artist to that scurge. It makes me so sad to think of all the wonderfull art that will never be. Maybe that’s why music today is such absolute trash, all the good artists are gone and we are left with Lady fucking Gaga, who makes me want to gag gag.

    I grew up in The Bronx and I’ve been listening to AIC since I was 16, back in the spring of 96. I used to listen to 92.3 K-ROCK. My life changed completely after that. My way of thinking and viewing the world changed… I changed the way I dressed and expressed myself… Rock music helped me through the dark years of my adolesence when I felt ugly, alone, unloved, like I couldn’t relate to anyone around me, and felt competely miz all the time. Layne’s amazing voice helped me through all that. I went to school with mostly hispanics and blacks and as you may imagine, at the time, there weren’t many AIC fans in school with me. I was considered a freak for my crazy get ups, band tees, docs and spiked wrist cuffs, dressing in mostly black all the time…. I feel so privilaged to have been a teen during that time!

    I remember when the AIC Unplugged show was first being aired on MTV! In fact, I got my first F in school because of AIC. Ha ha ha! (I can’t believe I forgot about this until last night when I was catching up on the site!) I had a paper due for Music class; I was supposed to watch a concert on video and write a report. My Music teacher was a snooty-ass concert pianist from Russia, and, always the rebel, I refused all the classical music shows on PBS that day, and did my report on the AIC Unplugged show. (she did say that we could choose any concert!) I wrote a detailed paragraph on what everyone was wearing, and how they looked. I even included a comment about “Friends don’t let friends cut their hair”! Ha ha ha! Can you BELIEVE she failed me??? She didn’t know she was dissing rock royalty!!

    Back then, I knew next to nothing about Layne and many other favorite artists’s personal lives. I knew he was on drugs, but we relied on the random comments made by radio dj’s or the news bulletins on MTV news. I din’t know any better than acepting everything Kurt Loder said as gospel. And we couldn’t look up lyrics! For the longest time I didn’t really know what “Would?” was about! And it’s one of my favorite songs! I always thougt Layne was saying “Ever gone… never run too far to get home…”

    I don’t have any questions, right now. I just have a request: MORE PICS!!

    AND WRITE THAT BOOK!!!

    I think that maybe there is something in the book or manuscript that Layne was writting that is being suppressed by the powers that be (his mom). Maybe I’m way off, but it’s just a hunch. Or maybe I’m completely wrong and he never got around to writing anything. I’m always saying I’m going to do things and then never do…

  88. aharris10-13-12

    Barbara

    This site comes from a pure place in your heart and I thank you for sharing your memories with us.

  89. Nick Spangler10-13-12

    Hey just wanted to share a poem i wrote about Layne, he was such a huge inspiration to me.

    The Silhouette of a Man behind the Curtain 8/13/12
    A swarm of calloused fingertips
    Scratched and clawed at the hardened surface
    Of a deeply pained, enigmatic maze of a man
    His cries for help strewn across the vibrations
    Of every lyric sung on the stage…
    He looked inside himself for forgiveness
    But all he found,
    Was a cage…
    Amused by his story of unapologetic misery
    Maybe to ease their petty insecurities…
    A silhouette frantically paces behind a white curtain
    He knows no peace of mind
    They’ve taken everything from him
    Hungry wolves
    Desperate for the truth
    To bend and play with for their entertainment…
    Pulling and pulling until the curtain came down
    Revealing a broken man
    Trying to shut the world out
    2 weeks too late he was found
    All we know was a beautiful soul was taken
    The silhouette of a man behind the curtain
    It’s so sad that some of us never get to see the light
    In this life…

    In memory of…
    Layne Staley

    • frank06-29-17

      pretty nice man
      Don’t stop doing this
      F.

  90. Natalia10-13-12

    thank you Barb!

  91. Ann10-13-12

    Xi, don’t know where your anger comes from because I don’t see anything that was said that would make us “crazy fans”. I thought this site was for fans?? I thought this site was for people to learn more about them? But when people ask questions we are “crazy”?clair asked a simple question. How could you sleep with your friends boyfriend?? If that was wrong to ask then why put it out there for the world to see?? I don’t doubt for a second that they were friends or that you guys knew them. And I don’t believe I was analyzing anything. Everyone keeps saying that’s why we don’t want to come forward with our memories. Ok I get it. You won’t like what people think?? That you were all human? Doing things people wouldn’t agree with? It doesn’t make you look bad it makes all of you look normal. What is “crazy” is when the people who knew them get pissed when people comment on this fan site. Don’t have a site for fans to comment or ask questions then. No one was bashing or questioning anyone. The only bashing is you bashing the fans. Maybe you should stop over analyzing the comments.

    • Barbara10-13-12

      Everyone..

      This site is for the fans. This site is to help ME heal. This site is for our friends and our family. this site is NOT for people to question whether I’am who I say I’am or question if I’m lying or not.. that bothers me… you can call me a slut or even call me a junkie.. but don’t call me a liar…. Demri and I were not BEST friends. Demri and I were GOOD friends. Rosheen was my BEST friend and Rosheen dated Demri. But Demri was in my life all the way through and we spent A LOT of time together and I LOVED her like a sister… just like I LOVED all my girlfriends back then and I always will. Most of them are gone now but I will always love them and to be honest…. we all slept together back then… hahaha! We were YOUNG, FREE and WILD. I was 19 when I met Demri and she knew about me and Layne and Demri and I dealt with it. That’s all I’m going to say about that and we remained friends. I’m only answering this question because it came up even though Darin told me not too… oh well I’m still going to do what I wanna do. Haha! And he knows it. More then anything Darin just does not want people on this site to get to me or hurt me but they don’t. I honestly don’t let people that I don’t know effect me.. I may have 10 years ago but I’m almost 40 now and I could honestly care less. I love all of you who are here for the right reasons. I want to be honest because I believe the truth should be told and fans are more then welcome to come here and read the stories and ask question just remember your manners.. and be nice. That’s all I ask.

      • HML10-13-12

        Barbara, I think in the end, that truth and good personal intention always win out in the face of rumors, lies or haters. Thanks for sharing your friends with all of us fans.

  92. Natalia10-11-12

    Hi momma Kathleen! :)
    Yes, for sure we love Dem, she is beautiful, lovely, charming etc
    by the way, you are beautiful too!
    if you could share pics of Dem with us by this blog would awesome!!
    everybody loves to see her cuteness :)
    XOX much love and peace

  93. kathleen10-11-12

    Hi Barb,

    I ran into Darin a few days back always nothing but love when we see each other. He directed me to your site which is beautiful. People don’t seem to understand how much Demri suffered the last 2-1/2 years of her life spent mostly in hospital several times on life support given hours to live or that she didn’t complain and was always more concerned about others than herself. Wjile it warms my heart that people want to know about her, care about her, love her and most of all have not forgotten her genuinely unique gifts. As her mother, when I am missing her most all I have to do is google………..I am so happy you made it, I tried to direct Tina to your site but she didn’t get it so I will continue to try. Thanks for setting the record when it needs it…………K

    • Barbara10-13-12

      Thank you Kathleen. I’m so happy you found the site and Darin told me he saw you and I was happy to hear it. He has always had so much respect for you.
      I also wanted to tell you THANK YOU for letting me stay at your house that one time even after Demri left and let me sleep in one of your guest rooms and recuperate from the very hard life I was leading at the time. I will try to email you at your personal email address in more detail. PLEASE give Tina my contact info I have a lot of ammends to make to her about Rosheen. I feel a lot of responsibility for Rosheen making her way up to Seattle to be with me and then getting wrapped up in my lifestyle. I know Tina was so hurt losing her baby and as a mother myself I know you have been so hurt as well and I am sorry. Demri will always be a star in my memories. She was something special as you already know. I love you and Thank you for everything you did for me and for all of us.

      Love, Barbara

  94. Stoney10-11-12

    This question is for Darin or Barbara. What was the real reason for Mike Starr leaving the band and the circumstances surrounding it? Thanks, keep up the good work.

  95. clair10-11-12

    Do not understand the reason for such anger, just did a simple question. I’m not here to accuse anyone, and I apologize if the question was inconvenient.

  96. Xi10-10-12

    Clair and Ann…seriously?! Come on. It is QUITE CLEAR that Barbara knows what she is talking about. Stop over thinking and over analyzing things. So maybe some things she’s posted on her other page don’t match this page to the EXACT but any true fan of Layne’s knows that Darin was his best friend and there is no reason for Darin and/or Barbara to fabricate stories. Darin and Barbara dated and were there to live the stories they tell. These stories are TRUE. I’m not going to lie…I’ve read all of these sites repeatedly and Barbara has never said her and Demri were best friends. They were friends. Their boyfriends were best friends. Simple as that. Crazy “fans” like you are the reason most of the people in Layne and Demri’s life don’t come forward with more information, and why the people who have delete it and stop talking. Can you go and focus on over analyzing your own life now? Thanks!
    Barbara and Darin…obviously there are more of us out there who support you and appreciate your stories than the crazies so thank you for everything you’ve shared and PLEASE keep sharing :)

  97. Kelly10-10-12

    I am now confused about “Lifeless Dead”. It was previously stated that this song was written about Demri yet the other site references Barbara??? When D-Rock or Barbara have a chance, can someone please clarify, thanks!

    • Barbara10-13-12

      I wrote that post in 2002 and I totally forgot it was out there… I was hoping that this would never come up but I guess it’s too late. Demri and Layne had an open relationship. Me and Darin had been broken up for like 5 years when it happened and Demri and Layne were also broken up. Anyway… it was nothing. It meant nothing it was just a one night nothing. Me and Layne were good friends nothing more.

    • Barbara10-13-12

      Yeh, Lifeless Dead was absolutely not written about me or Darin… I think Darin might of had a little wishful thinking on that one. Remember that was 10 years ago that he told me that and he was going through a rough time so who knows.. maybe he meant a different song… I don’t know either way it makes NO sense. Darin would you like to elaborate on why you told me that song was about us??

  98. Ann10-09-12

    Clair I must agree. I never knew about the other site. Now that I read it it is very strange. On that site Barbara talks about Layne being her friend. On this site it’s how Demri was her best friend. Things said on the other site don’t Mach this one. It’s kind of rocked my foundation. Don’t know what to think anymore.

    • Barbara10-13-12

      I don’t see how that post rocked your foundation but OK… like I care.

  99. Clair10-09-12

    About the story posted by Barbara (http://ibdreamy.livejournal.com/193652.html) I do not understand how you can sleep with the boyfriend of her best friend (Demri), or they have not dating then? Stranger .. .

  100. Veronica10-08-12

    I reread my last comment and thought the “here”s may sound like I mean here at your blog, which isn’t how I meant them. Here is a vague word, so wanted to make sure you know the bad feelings that I talked about definitely pertain to other things.

    Just to clarify, I meant “here” as in, earth…
    “I’m sort of trying to discover who I really am (behind all the fears and entropy) and why I’m here.” It’s existential.

    And the “here” following meant now that I’m finally 27: “thought… that this year would mean big, amazing things for me. But now that I’m here, that seems unlikely.” “here” = 27 years old.

    Anyway, hope that helps. :)

  101. Veronica10-08-12

    I just realized I hadn’t said anything about myself and what brought me to your blog! Should since it’s my first time commenting. So… I am grateful to have discovered Alice in Chains thru YouTube comments (so they are good for something! lol) last month as I was rediscovering Nirvana (MTV/ Unplugged) and going thru a tough time. My brother used to listen to AIC when I was a kid. So I delved into their Unplugged material first and then the rest. I like sad/cathartic kinds of music, like AIC songs Down in a Hole, Would?, Nutshell.

    I’m sort of trying to discover who I really am (behind all the fears and entropy) and why I’m here. I think maybe Mad Season’s River of Deceit may be speaking to me (especially the line, “my pain is self-chosen”). I’m trying to understand the rest of the song more, like the lies that are pulling down and what that means…

    My interest in Layne’s music and self is due to my recent birthday, and it’s been a really sad time. I just feel lost, miserable, like I’ve failed at being who I should have been and wanted to be. I’m 27 now. I had always thought that at my specific age, that this year would mean big, amazing things for me. But now that I’m here, that seems unlikely. So I was hoping to learn more about some the issues Layne may have been facing, and hoping they’d also relate- in some way- to my obstacles in life (and sort of implicitly, how to start getting past them).

    Anyway, thanks for having this blog and helping us better understand Layne, Demri and Mike. I’m glad there are true friends of theirs like you showing how beautiful they were as people and the positive impact they had on people then and now too.

  102. Veronica10-08-12

    I’m late to the party, but thanks – a ton! – for giving these details on Layne’s life and music.

    I was wondering a few things…

    I’ve read that a Mad Season bandmate remarked that album was a spiritual journey for Layne. Would you expand on this?

    I love Nutshell… what is the real meaning of “if I can’t be my own”? Seems like it may relate to what you were saying about him not wanting to be controlled somehow?

    What are some things Layne may have shared that you think would’ve helped others, if he had continued to wear his heart on his sleeve? (you allude to this in your intro paragraph, Darin…)

    Thanks. :)

  103. Wade10-06-12

    I have some questions for barbara, or Darin. They are not questions that, If I was her would answer publically on this site. They are not disrespectfull in any way. Just some things I am curious about. I don’t feel comfortable asking them publically even, for fear of psyco A.I.C fans.. lol. I do have one I don’t mind asking here. Does layne have any type of memorial? I know he was cremated. I Would like to visit him some way to pay my respects. I am 44 years old and a big fan,from St. Louis Missouri. his music has touched me in many ways. I admit I was a bit angry with him and thought him to be a little selfish for commiting slow suicide. I have had my ups and downs and battles with addiction myself. I understand him alot, as do many people. So if Barbara or Darin would, or could help me out it would mean alot to me. Thanks.

  104. Giselle10-05-12

    Nevermind. The basic information says it’s you Barbara. This is a site you’ve had for a long time I’m guessing. Sorry if I crossed any boundaries. :-/

  105. Giselle10-05-12

    Hello! I ran into this and thought was interesting…Any idea who this person may be? She reveals a lot on this blog/journal and she claims to have been Darin’s first girlfriend among other things…
    http://ibdreamy.livejournal.com/193652.html

  106. Jennifer10-03-12

    This is a great site. It’s good to see someone coming forward in regards to AICs and Layne. I have a few questions. No one has really said why Mike Starr left the band. From an outsider looking in, “and i’m just saying”, It appears that Mike and Layne both had serious problems but Mike being a bass player, maybe he was more disposable then Layne being the front man. Just a thought. I was also wondering if Demri was friends with the other girlfriends of the band? Was she banned from the tours, and why? Did Jerry have anything to do with any of this? I really like him as a musician and he seems to have come along way battling his own demons but sometimes I question his authenticity.

  107. aharris09-28-12

    Darin, do you know if the book Layne was writing was a memoir?

  108. Alex09-28-12

    I listened to a rare (and quite lengthy) Layne interview that came with the “Tripod” self titled demo (I have no clue who the intended recipient was, or who gave the interview) and Layne spoke of how as long as the fans were digging what they were doing they would continue to do it. He also said that he was working on a book (IIRC) for 5 years that he wanted to complete. It was sad to hear his dreams would remain unrealized. I’d like to read that book personally, but who knows what became of all of his unfinished works. Clearly they are in no hurry to release any of it. I think AIC should be given the remnants of any music he may have left behind (it’s an almost certainty there is plenty). I know when I die some poor guy is going to have to go through hundreds of unfinished songs. When a musician dies they leave behind much that they were unwilling to share while alive, but I feel it is our obligation to show our fans the best of it when we are gone (since there will be no more).

    I know a lot of the rarer songs, videos, and interviews are on YouTube now. There’s an also an annoying mistake that was made which compared Alice In Chains to Thread accidentally (for whatever reason – they call it “Alice In Chains – Blue” but it’s really “Thread – Aviary Garlands”). Any true AIC fan can tell it’s not them in approximately 1 second once the singers get going. If you like AIC I would highly recommend you check out Thread. They never made it but they did manage to put out an album that is a neat sort of tribute since apparently AIC was their influence at least at the time.

    As a completely random side note I totally can’t listen to Mad Season – Lifeless Dead after I found out about Demri.

  109. Natalia09-28-12

    I’m curious about Layne’s belief, Layne wore several crucifixes, one of them, the Byzantine of St. Damian … he liked to San Francisco?
    what he believed in?

    • Alex09-28-12

      Natalia, this isn’t a solid lead or anything but when you have lyrics that say “Jesus Christ, deny your maker” that says you are at odds with God, but that you do believe that he made you… Just my 2 cents. I’m not Christian so what do I know? That and the crosses and other things that pop up in pictures, videos, etc.

    • frank06-29-17

      ……….god am….

  110. Leisa Wooten09-27-12

    Is there another page? I see the comment I just posted. Lil confused here, lol.

  111. Leisa Wooten09-27-12

    Why does the count say more comments than before but I can’t see them? Thanx in advance for the help:)

  112. Amber09-27-12

    Also, if you’ve never been hooked on heroin or opiates, you could never understand how hard it is to quit. I firmly believe Layne wanted to quit. I know he tried many times. Over 90% of people who kick opiates will relapse. Think about that. The pain one feels with DTs cannot be put in words. Most people who have never experienced it think it’s bullshit. But it’s not. The biochemistry of the human body is what causes these side effects… “Enzyme inhibition” to be more exact. DTs are real. So once you understand that, you can understand how it’s damn hard for people to willingly go sign up to go to rehab to have to go through hell. If it were easy, there would be a much higher success rate. I am by no means trying to say that your addictions weren’t tough. But I can tell you, without a doubt, you can’t compare opiate addiction to any other kind of addiction, because they are not the same. Again, I’m not trying to get “indignant” with you. I simply ask that you try not to be so assuming and judgmental on the people who were in Layne’s life. Yes they loved him. Yes they cared. Yes they wanted him to get clean. Never doubt that.

  113. Amber09-27-12

    Alex: You shouldn’t be so quick to make assumptions on a situation that you know nothing about. Heroin/Opiate addiction is a bitch. I can tell you, from my own experience, that there was absolutely nothing anyone in my life could have done to make me get clean. My friends would try to “counsel” me, and I simply quit talking to them. My father even called the Coroner on me trying to have me committed. It didn’t work, and I isolated myself from him and the rest of my family. I got clean when I could no longer live in the misery that I had created. And it still isn’t easy. I wish it were. I still have friends who are strung out. I don’t hang with them very often, but when I do, I never try to put ultimatums on them. That would only cause them to feel ganged up on and backed in a corner, afraid. I show them unconditional love. (That doesn’t mean I enable them by giving them money or anything of the sorts) I simply let them know that when they are ready to make that change, I’ll be there for them. Most people don’t learn from others with that “Do as I say not as I do or have done” mentality. It pisses people off. Most people need to be led by example. For you to say that his friends and family didn’t try hard enough isn’t fair. I’m not trying to argue with you or even insult you. I just think it’s hard for someone to understand what it’s like if you haven’t experienced it first hand.

    • Alex09-28-12

      I appreciate your response and as long as you attack what I say and not me personally we are cool.

      It may surprise you to know that Nicotine is the most addictive drug in the world. Of the people who try to get off of it 98.4% fail after a year with NRT (Nicotine Replacement Therapy i.e patches, gum, lozenges, inhalers).

      I quit smoking with e-cigarettes. The rate of success is much higher with those than any other method currently on the market. Thousands upon thousands of people will attest to that fact and I see it every day on the forums. Heroin is the 3rd most addictive drug with 25% of people getting addicted to it with use over a period of time. Nicotine is 30%.

      That said, heroin has the worst withdrawal. I didn’t do heroin, but I did do bennys and painkillers (opiates). I did break through both of those addictions but I am sure that they were minor by comparison to a full blown smack addict. I did beat a nasty cocaine habit too. My life, it seems is a story book of beating addictions.

      Though I never smoked crack or did heroin I have SEEN many people on Celebrity Rehab go through heroin withdrawal and some even survived and lived sober lives.

      That said, and what you are inferring is that Layne wasn’t strong enough to break through the pain to live a normal life again. I don’t agree with that assessment. You don’t achieve that level of success without drive and he had plenty of that for certain.

      It seems clear to me that the bandmates all glorified drugs in their lives and in their music, and they did them heavily, but when the time came to change or die only 2 of them changed. If I were one of the surviving too I’d feel pretty awful about that fact. At this rate I don’t know if Jerry will ever write an album without a Layne tribute song in it, but he should. His song’s can be quite depressing.

      I have a friend who was/is a meth addict. He lived on a beach for 2 years, homeless, stealing and taking the proceeds to his dealer to buy more meth. When we were kids he smoked weed, but never anything heavy. It was when he went away that he did that stuff. Suddenly, he bought a plane ticket and came home to his family. For about 8 years I weaned him back to health and he became a successful member of society, for a while. We would do “less hard” drugs together and had an awesome time, but slowly he began doing “experimental substances” that he would buy online from overseas. Fake coke, fake meth, fake THC, all highly concentrated. He’d miss my birthdays, and all the holidays, he’d not answer his phone for days or weeks.

      After the 2nd time I took him to the ER on that crap he just kept creeping around my house in the middle of the night. I stopped answering his calls and told him to get clean one day when I finally answered (since I was then clean). A few weeks later he told me he was going to kill himself after he threw out his beautiful girlfriend who he didn’t deserve in 1000 years for no reason. I told him I would come save him, and he refused. I told him I would call the cops and they would triangulate his position and save him and he told me he would come kill me and my family. I cut him off again for a couple weeks and then I got a message online that he was blocking my email, phone, etc. and he never spoke to me again (for about a year now). I spoke to a friend of his former dealer’s and he had flown to the opposite side of the country – what a way to find out! I know not what became of him, but after being friends for 23 or 24 years, I’ll never give up on him. So I understand what being pushed away is like, but I still gave it my best, and I am done with this saga. I will find him, if there’s anything left to be found.

      Meanwhile I celebrate another birthday and I’m proud of that.

      So, to wrap things up, my question still stands. Why didn’t anyone save him if he wouldn’t save himself? Don’t make excuses, answer the question – if possible. I know that I would never let anything or anyone hurt the people I love.

      • Sarah09-29-12

        Okay, I have been addicted to Meth, Benzo’s, opiates, and I have to tell you the opiates were the worst. With Meth you just need sleep for about six months straight, but with opiates the body is actually sick, throwing up, shitting pants, etc… It is so much harder than meth. Benzo’s were a story all of their own. I was on them for anxiety attacks, but the drug is addictive. As long as I tapered I was able to get off a lot easier. I never have been around heroin, but I can only imagine how much harder it is to get off of. Cigarettes are not as hard as opiates to get off of, I have done it. I quit smoking when I was pregnant and quit six years straight till I had more stress in life and picked up the habit again. There is no comparison between the two.

      • frank06-29-17

        this is not about layne and demri anymore….

  114. aharris09-26-12

    Barbara, out of curiosity how many people from different countries have commented on your site? Certainly shows the reach and love for Demri and Layne.

  115. jesse09-26-12

    u kno wat fuk that comment i made i know barbara dated mike starr i forgot i knew about that already from somewhere ims orry i doubted that barbara and darin

  116. Brandie09-26-12

    Thank you both so much for sharing with us. <3

  117. jesse09-25-12

    so alex do u think theyre makin up stuff?im not too sure it just seems legit cus theres photos of barbera with mike starr . but i guess u never know.

  118. Violet09-25-12

    First of all I would like to thank Barbara and Darin for this tread, for chat with Layne and Demri’s fans, for sharing their stories in a very loving way.
    thank you from my heart.
    I’m a girl from Barcelona, 27, who never met Demri but who admires her a lot. I run a tribute fansite for her (www.DemriParrott.webs.com), and I’m reading very interesting info and tidbits here.

    I don’t want to question anything in particular, I just want to thank. I know you’ve cried too much, of course you’ve laughed too. And for sure you miss them both (as well as Rosheen and Mike). I’ve never lost anybody at a young age for drug use (none of my friends did drugs), so I know sometimes, for people like me, it’s difficult to understand the drug abuse and if it was worth it.

    But, as everyone says, I rather want to keep the funny stories, reading them, imagine them. I know there aren’t many photos (sadly there wasn’t these iphones and such). Demri would have loved living today here with all the new media, knowing she is loved my many, never forget.

    I was curious about her passions (not only acting, posing and decoupage). What was her favourite music, besides grunge? Her favorite films and books, her idols… I think she was very spiritual too.

    Anyway, sorry for my English. Thanks once again for sharing, for spending your time here with us. We know (well, at least me), that maybe you are very busy and can’t log here everyday to comment, share and post.

    Just a final note for all the people who is here with drug problems. I want to send you my love and support. I know it must be difficult, but I know you can give up drugs. I know you will smile again, I wish more sooner than later.

    Peace to you all – xoxo

  119. Alex09-25-12

    I just don’t buy that. Don’t think that I don’t understand. As a musician myself, with similar habits, I think I know a thing or two by now.

    I did drugs for over a decade trying to “make it” in a dead industry more concerned for the likes of Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber instead of art. When the smoke cleared it was I alone who clawed up from the dark hole that was my life. I get that my friends and family were more than happy to see me kill myself. They didn’t know what was going on.

    But I never did heroin or crack (everything but). If I had I can assure you that I was cared enough about that people would have intervened had I lived my life on my sleeve the way that Layne did. Total strangers in the media knew what was going on. James Hetfield (metallica frontman) knew.

    I don’t care if someone says they’ll “cut me off for life”. Those decisions are made in error under the influence of their puppet master (drugs). Clearly, they’ll soon forget since nothing means anything to them.

    When I look back at Kurt Cobain now I think “what a baby man”. The dude wasn’t nearly as good as Layne and yet he receives all the glory (sold more albums). The dude was an immature tool IMO.

    My question stands. If people actually pretended to care about him why did they not stand in his defense; defense from himself? Why did they let him kill himself? Saying “It’s Your Decision” doesn’t sit well with me. It’s not your decision any more. You suck at drugs, it’s time for a reality check. I am as old now as Layne was when he died. Dr. Drew says on Celebrity Rehab that when you start doing drugs full time is when you stop developing. I have grown many times faster in the few years I have been sober but, by that reckoning, Layne was still a boy-child since he started doing hard drugs so soon in life.

    Why did his so-called friend and family not do what was necessary to save his life?

    I look back now like he was just immature. So were the people who surrounded him. If he’d known me I’d have set him straight quicker than $hyt. This is not me trolling, this is me setting the record straight.

    • Jenn12-14-12

      I know this comment was left months ago & I have thus far been a read only visitor of this site…but this comment has brought something up in me that I can’t keep to myself.
      Alex, I personally find your statement to be quite offensive. I know we all have a right to our opinions, but how dare you pass judgement on those of us who stand by our loved ones who struggle with addiction. Have you not heard of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE? Let me explain it to you…when you love someone who is battling addiction, you always try to help them get clean…you support their efforts, show them ways to have fun drug free, share your feelings about their addiction, visit them while they are attempting rehab…but even when they fail or falter, you still love them, NO MATTER WHAT!
      My best friend of 16 years lost his battle with heroin in 2005. Till the end I loved him. Through all the pain, the fun, the tears…I accepted him. This doesn’t mean I turned a blind eye to his drug use. I was EXTREMELY aware of it, in fact. I just didn’t use it to make him feel badly about himself, he did that enough on his own. He needed love & support. I didn’t buy his drugs, didn’t participate in the use (after a certain age, anyway), nor did I allow him to use in my home…but I loved him, was there for him, listened to him, picked him up from gas station parking lots after he’d been beaten, drove him to the methadone clinic, spent Christmas with him in rehab…whatever it took to remind him that he was loved.
      When someone is struggling with drug addiction it affects everyone they are close to. Sadly, our story ended in his death. To this day & for the rest of my life I will love him & carry good memories in my heart. The pain of his loss is massive. I do not, under any circumstances, feel guilt over not having done enough. I did everything I could, we all did, but in the end the desire to numb overshadowed any other feeling on his part & that’s just the way it is.
      I’m not really sure what my intent for this comment was, but I just knew I had to write something. I’m not angry about Alex’s comment, but I felt that the other side had to be stated.
      Thank you for giving me the chance to express myself & thank you Barb for putting all the hard work, dedication & love into this website. It’s a lovely memorial.

      • frank06-29-17

        Some have it , some don’t,
        but how much the world would be better if everyone knew how to approach this kind of situation like you did and minimise emotionnal damage because sometimes for us, like the song says :
        “you always hurt the ones you love…the ones….you shouldn’t hurt at all…”

        guilt guilt guilt guilt(super arcade combo multiplier, just kidding) attacks constantly
        so watch what you say if you trully want to help
        F.

    • RShaw04-06-14

      By your own words it sounds like you should understand that it can only happen when the person wants it to. Ultimately, who got you off of drugs? You? So there’s the answer to that. And it’s still an ongoing process, a conscious decision to remain away from drugs, yes? It doesn’t matter whatever anyone else does…the person needs to want it. I guess we could ponder all day why someone didn’t reach that point in their mind completely and successfully — thing is, no one can see into anyone else’s mind, of course. And add to that something like depression/lack of a desire to live…honestly, I can see how someone might refuse to get better, as strange as that sounds. I don’t want to assume anyone having depression, because who really knows, but at least from my own experience with depression, it’s not a rational state, by its very nature. And things like depression and isolation feed each other — it can be a vicious cycle that only gets worse. I don’t pretend to know what really happened, I just can see how someone could be in a frame of mind where they’ve decided not to try. You know, to be thinking, I’m just going to keep going and let it play out as it will. I don’t like this life, I don’t want to be here. That sort of thing. We’re so programmed for survival, I guess that thinking can seem very strange. Oh, and about Layne having drive, so why wasn’t he able to break his addiction: we’re all stronger in some areas of our lives, and weaker in others. We’re messy in some ways, clean in others. A person can be completely functional in one situation, and not in another. (btw, you don’t happen to live in Cleveland and have worked as a bartender? If so, I might know an ex of yours….which would be weird)

    • frank06-29-17

      It’s the second comment i read from you and i can tell i don’t like your shitty ass perception ………..hahahaha. I could add more but i’ll keep it simple.

    • frank06-29-17

      Alex, sometimes it’s better to analyze yourself and not so much the others.

  120. jesse09-25-12

    i believe everything u said barbara and darin and i i wish i knew layne but i was much too young. thanks for this site for real im a huge layne staley fan

  121. A Wraith.09-24-12

    Barbara and Darin:

    I have no questions for either of you… I think what you are doing is rather a soul-sacrifice to yourselves and perhaps this has become a vampire which is steadily sucking the energy out of you. I admire the both of you for even owning the strength to introduce yourselves to a world so full of curious questions (no matter the worth of each.)

    This first made me think of Howard Hughes and Terry Morse (the author who discusses the very secretive Hughes.) Though Hughes and Staley/Parrott are worlds apart, still the aftermath is riding the borderlines of similarity. Each has left its onlookers with questions, and curiosities, and thoughts that aren’t readily answered when they attempt to seek out factual articles (and/or) information in relevance to the situation.

    Barbara… your efforts to speak of the truths of your departed friends is rather admirable. Darin has been beneficial towards your mission to shine the truth upon a very entwined, and dark situation. I can’t imagine any of this is easy on either of you as the questions pour in, but it’s also probably a relief in such a way that it enlightens you by knowing you at least relayed the truth. Whether or not it is processed by its recipient(s) is out of your hands.

    I can not speak for the others; but what I see are two people who want their real friends to be seen in the ways you both knew them personally, and not by the weight of lies, rumors, and other misprinted catastrophes which has seemed to plague (or perhaps shadow) their souls. It feels like you are almost compelled to shine the light on that shadow to finally quiet the lies, or the hurt which comes with reading all of these untrue blankets of misguided information about two people you knew and loved whence.

    To bring forward the truths of anyone passed (famous or not) is probably one of the hardest things to do (especially when you loved the person and knew them, and lived a life with them in some form of a relationship.) It rushes in memories in blips almost all at once, and reliving anything good or bad can take its toll. Most of all, you miss them and their time on earth with you. If you ever do go forward with writing a book about your friends, I do hope you do it when YOU feel ready.

    Be well in this tough journey…

    • frank06-29-17

      a caring comment, very nice and true

  122. Jan09-24-12

    Hi folks,

    all I’m really happy that Laney is not forgotten and people still talk and chat about him. I was born in ’92, in the time of grunge but had no chance to fall in love with it in its best times. I trully love Nirvana, Kurt Cobain as well. Once, I looked for similar groups to Nirvana and found Alice in Chains (I heard the name years before but didn’t know anything about) and fell in love as well. Laney was really gorgeous musician. I really enjoy each time I listen to him. Makes me happy. Heals my wound. Keeps me focused on things… Last summer I got a tattooo (K.C.’s signature) and I think Laney’s signature might be the next one… to pay tribute to his brilliance…

    … and I also want to say thank you to Darin!

    A fan from Prague!

  123. Jody09-23-12

    You must not know anyone with a drug problem. I’m sure Layne didn’t want to die that way. But he was obviously powerless. If you read the whole link you would see a post from Darin where he said that if you pressured Layne to get clean he would banish you from his life. Everyone tried to help him for years but you can’t force anyone to stop. You can’t force them. And there are no laws that can force someone to go to rehab. No one turned a blind eye. No one. People can only do so much. And in the end his true friends were there for him no matter what he was doing. Like Darin said, unconditional love.

    • Catherine J.09-24-12

      Thank you for this!!

  124. Alex09-23-12

    I just have one simple question. If Layne was loved so much why did the people who loved him allow him to, what is in essence, kill himself?

    Every lyric, every interview, missed tours due to addiction, the fact that some publications had his obituary on standby since the late 90’s all pointed to the fact that this would happen, but yet blind eyes were turned.

    Can anyone explain this to me?

    Let’s get into Mike Starr. He killed himself too with drugs and he was very very guilty about his last meeting with Layne on Celebrity Rehab (and he should have been by his account).

    To be honest, there is simply no more undignified way to die and be found as he was. Layne did NOT deserve to die in this manner, disgraced. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.

    When I listen to “Your Decision” by (basically) Jerry Cantrell I want to slap the crap out of him. It wasn’t Layne’s decision. The dude was messed up and on drugs. I think we can all agree that he wasn’t fit to make decisions for himself at that point.

    At the end of the day I am left with a sense of emptiness knowing that the people who were supposedly his friends let him down in the worst way. How is it that if someone says they will kill themselves that they can be forcibly committed and hospitalized, but if you do it with a needle then it’s all good?

    I am left with on one hand utter disdain for how he squandered his unique talent, and on the other how also held his band back with the same talent because of a love affair, not with Demri, but with the needle.

    I appreciate that the new Alice In Chains is back, and supposedly recording a second album without Layne, but there is not one fan among us that doesn’t miss the crap out of Layne at the same time. The band is an empty room without him.

    It’s been 10 years and now that the shock has worn off all I am left with is a deep dark pain whenever I think of what was, what is, and what can never be.

    • Sarah09-28-12

      No doubt, Jody, I have a niece right now who is shooting up meth, and none of us can get her to get help. She gets mad if we try to help, she has been through rehab just to go back to it. Someone who hasn’t been in this situation before has no clue what is going on. You cannot just call the drug patrol to pick them up and detox them. They have to ask for and want the help first, and then sometimes they will get off, but they have to be really strong to get off because it is a long road of hell. I hate it when people blame everyone around them, as if they haven’t tried anything. Believe me they have!!!

    • Lana10-16-16

      Yeah, it all sounds pretty on paper. And I mean no disrespect. But after losing the love of my life to heroin, I can tell you it’s not doable unless the person themselves wants to get clean. Like for real, not just say they do because it pleases the loved ones around him/her. You can’t chain one to bed and keep them there for life, can you? First thing an addict thinks when wakes up in the morning is ‘I NEED to get high’. How can you make sure they don’t go out of their way to do it? Even after rehab? There’s no such thing as ex addict. The voice is always there telling them ‘i can make it all better’. Every day for the rest of their life. I had to deal with threats of suicide if i didn’t bail a guy I loved from rehab. And I didn’t. Next thing I know he was in a coma and barely survived just to get back to the needle. No one can help someone who has no will to live. Depression makes addiction even worse. And it is excruciating to see a loved one slowly kill themselves while your are overwhelmed by your own helplessness.. Assumptions and judgments do nothing but hurt people. You and me know nothing about how Layne truly felt, especially after Demri’s passing. All we can do is speculate. Let’s not. Let them rest in peace..

      • frank06-29-17

        this comment is truthful.. i really felt every word i read.

        Thank you very much for sharing and stay strong

        peace n love

        • frank06-29-17

          lana’s comment that is…

  125. Lydia09-21-12

    (If anyone still checks on this thread) Darin, I know you have issues with Laynes parents. But you seem to have been close enough to him to maybe understand why Nancy refuses to release/print the book that Layne claimed to have been writing in the later years of his life. He mentioned it in a phone in interview. I can’t recall the year. I’d be really interested in that. But as you (jokingly?) mentioned earlier, about writing a book. I’m a serious inquiry. If you ever decide to do something of the sort… let me know. doggettbm@live.com

  126. Holly Shankool09-21-12

    Hey Guys,

    Thank you for sharing all the great stories about Layne and Demri! I am a fan of AIC from the beginning. Their music has helped me through some tough patches in my life. I have always been intrigued by Layne and Demri’s love story. I saw this video in the Malfunkshun documentary wondered if the woman who is 8 second in is Demri. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gskCCemCzsU Can you guys identify her?

    • RShaw04-06-14

      Has anyone ruled this out? She does look short, and has all that hair and a smile…

  127. B-Meister09-20-12

    Barbara & Darin:

    I love this site, very informative, and full of things I have wondered over the years..I am a huge alice in chains/mad season fan… I remember years ago buying ‘sap’, and all of the songs off of that ‘cassette’ (at that time) were amazing.. but what REALLY ‘hooked’ me, was the ‘Dirt’ album…layne has always been a ‘vocal’ inspiration..phenomenal talent, NO DOUBT… I miss him ever single passing second… the creativity, the genius..it really pisses me off that the ‘media whores’ tried their best to just ‘chew up artists’…..I currently run a page with a good friend jesse ramsey dedicated to ALL of SEATTLE.. the page is in the ‘fill out’ page..It is a pleasure to get to read what all the fans/admirers say…I really personally don’t have any questions to ask at this point.. but… as of 2013, I will be making the long trip to seattle.. to see where the BEST MUSIC was born.. :).. and I have gotten to speak with a many cool people, and getting the ‘vibes’ from them.. fans, by far.. layne helped saved my life.. I was in a complete world of ‘darkness’, and ‘dirt’ definitely helped save me from the ‘demon.. I love mad season, even all these YEARS later…..SHOWING LOVE FOR SEATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! :).. \m/ \666/

  128. Mara09-20-12

    Hello Barbara and Darin! Hi everyone! Barbara, sometimes you talk about Rosheene and her history seems interesting, but very sad too. I´d like to know more about her. How was she, fisically and spiritually? I read – if not here in another site – that she just passed away a few months after Demri. What happend to her? Demri and Rosheene had a long relationship or it was just an ephemeral thing? Thanks for attention and congratulations for the site! You have done a good job Barbara!

  129. Dena09-20-12

    This website just changed my life. Thank you so much for giving so much insight into the life of a man who is so admired and loved by his fans. How do you feel about william Duvall and especially him singing Layne’s songs?
    -dena

  130. Christina09-18-12

    Layne Staley had a Amazing Talent!!! One of the Best Singer in the 90’s!! Hear the Music and Feeling good!!

  131. Christina09-18-12

    Hi Barbara and Darin! Sorry, My english is Not so good, im Living in Hamburg- Germany. I will Never forget the Day, when My girlfiend say to me very surprised, oh the Singer of AIC has died! She was on the Live Concert in Hamburg @ Alice in Chains. Im a Heavy Metal, Rock, Grunge Music Fan since 1985!! Now Im 40 Years old and this Kind of Music is a everlasting Love. I Must say, it is really sad and a Dramatic Story about Layne Staley. He was a Great Singer and had a Special Voice. It is wonderful to Read your Memories with Layne and Demri. A Tragic Love Story, i think Layne had a Good Heart and was sensible. A Heart can Broken, when you Lost your Love of your Live. His Voice will live Forever and i Hope

  132. J09-17-12

    Did Demri ever talk about her relationship w/ Layne and her feelings about him? Were they really affectionate? And did they live together at some point?

  133. Darin09-16-12

    Thanks Babz for being patient with me. I will start replying soon. Just overwhelmed with my new house and the work. Plus I’m going to

    • Paris11-24-12

      Hey Darin, this is Paris. I just happened upon this site after watching a youtube video of Dem and Layne singing that a friend told me about. This is the same Darin I once knew right? If it is you’ll know who I am. Small world this internet. Let me know…

  134. Adam09-15-12

    No hard feelings… I know better than to piss off any true AIC fans. Just stumbled across this interview from last year and wanted to share. Lots of good stuff about Layne in it.

  135. HML09-15-12

    Barbara, As a fan of AIC back from the days I first saw AIC on MTV, I appreciate your sharing about him, Mike and Demri. I think if you and Darin, and whoever else, did write a book in the same spirit you have shown on here that it wouldn’t be seen as disrespectful. You haven’t been tabloid sensational about it all. I suppose there are those who get fired up about everything AIC or Layne. Especially those like “Alice”, Tanya Vece, etc. By the way, sorry to Adam…I just assumed you were the same person as the loony/Alice hater. Barbara, do you remember Layne dating Michelle Ahern Crane? Also, was Johnny Bacola a good friend to Layne after he moved out of his house? He has been pretty vocal about Layne and the mid 90’s. Also, did you attend Demri’s or Mike’s funerals?

  136. Joe09-15-12

    Odd question…i’m a car-nut,so I have to ask-was Layne a car guy? And do you what his dream cars were?

    • Barbara09-15-12

      Actually I don’t even remember what he drove but I do remember him driving us to the Movies but I think he was driving his Mom’s car… can’t even remember what kind of car was. Last time I saw him he was on his Harley. So the answer to your question is.. I don’t think he was a car guy. Sorry.

      • Joe09-15-12

        Okay..thanks for replying so quickly!

  137. Natalia09-14-12

    yes Barb, and by the way I’m your fan
    you could invite Jack Plasky to tell some stories or his thoughts..

  138. Melissa09-14-12

    You are a pretty woman Barbara…And definitely not full of shit! It’s nice to hear your stories…about Layne the person, not Layne the star. Thanks for doing this!

  139. Barbara09-14-12

    I think I need to make a new post this thread is getting WAY too LONG!!!!! Haha! It has over 346 comments.. and has been going on since June! There are other posts on this website you know. *wink*

    • jesse ramsey09-20-12

      love the collection i help run some Alice Chains pages id would be awesome if you would join

  140. Barbara09-14-12

    I think this proves I’m not full of shit.. personally.. I don’t know.. don’t you?

    Or this picture…

    • frank06-29-17

      like the plate in the background..you painted it?

  141. Adam09-14-12

    I don’t know what happened, but I don’t know Tanya or Alice… was simply asking Barbara to clarify a post she made. Didn’t mean to offend anyone.

    • Barbara09-14-12

      I thought you were saying a book by the people who REALLY knew him would weed out the liars basically saying you questioned whether I was telling the truth or not.. a book by those who knew him would be great.. I’d do it myself but I don’t know if I’m ready for the wrath of his fans.. accusing me of trying to make money off his name. That scares me.

      • Adam09-14-12

        After re-reading my post, I can see how you took it that way. Sorry… I meant D-Rock & you should be the ones writing a book, if ever one was published, based off of what you two have shared with us just within this blog. I was only questioning your description of Layne at the end because I didn’t know if both quotes were from you or someone else… either way, lets drop it. Layne’s physical appearance at the end isn’t what this site is about. My apologies :-)

  142. Deanna09-14-12

    Hi again! In regards to all this trolling stuff, I think the best way to deal with it (especially on the internet) is to just do the age old ignore-the-bully trick and just pay attention to the people who deserve your attention. In face to face it’s harder to do that, but online it makes it a hell of a lot easier to pretend you just never saw the troll…

    Anyway, I just wanted to post my questions one more time, because I would admittedly be kinda disappointed if my or any other fan’s earnest questions got skipped over because of one rude person’s sideshow for attention.

    “I wanted to know:
    What books, movies, poetry, philosophy was Layne into? And Demri?

    Also, if it’s even possible to answer this (and I respect it if you choose not to), how do you think Layne would feel of the new AIC? Or of the soundalike bands?”

    Read more: http://www.rememberlayne.com/blog/2012/06/darin-lamb-guest-post/#ixzz26SkTgtMb

    Hope all is well.

    • Barbara09-14-12

      Deanna.. To be honest.. I don’t recall what books if any that Dem read and as far as Layne is concerned.. we never discussed books either. We hung out and partied we did not have discussions on Confucius. Maybe we would today now that I’m 39 and not 22 but back then.. NO. Haha! I read ALOT now and I did back then too but I don’t remember ever talking about what I was reading with my friends.. plus we were all strung out and that was our main goal in life.
      In regards to what Layne would think of the new AIC? I don’t think he’d be too pist that they went on with out him after he died because I think Layne would understand there need to continue on as the amazing musicians that they are but I still think it would sting a little. In regards to bands that sound like him… he HATED Stone temple Pilots because he said the singer tried so hard to sound like him. Hope that helps! Trolls are never going away and your right the best thing to do is ignore them which is not always easy to do. But I will try. :)

      • chris09-17-12

        Haha! Haven’t been on here in months, so I’m trying to catch up on some of the comments, just perusing some of ’em, but damn, that made me laugh! Back when STP hit big, I used to call ’em Stoned Pimple Toilets, which I’m sure I derived from some snarky Spin review or something, but who knows? Maybe I was clever back then, I dunno. But yeah, not only did Weiland go out of his way to sound like Layne and come across as a pale imitation, but he also tried and tried to look just like him. Somehow Weiland became a fashion icon along the way, but if you look at Layne through the years, he had a very original style that people in fashion mags and what-not never made a fuss about like they did with Weiland, but it was amazing the looks Layne pulled off, and I know next to nothing about fashion and what’s “cool.”

        • Sarah09-18-12

          I agree, when I look back at the old AIC videos, Layne has some awesome style!!

  143. kristin09-14-12

    Darin,
    Do yu have any personal pics of layne? I would love to see how he acted in front of a friends camera. (:

  144. Jody09-13-12

    Barbara, please don’t let what Adam/Alice says bother you. I think you are right about who they are. You can kind of tell by their writing style. You know what you know and you knew who you knew period. You know the truth and that’s all that matters. You aren’t gaining anything (like fame or money) by doing this. You are simply keeping the memory alive of YOUR dear friends and paying tribute to them. Because of you, you can punch in Demri’s name on google and she comes up. You did that for her. She is known now, not just because she was Layne’s girlfriend. You have never been disrespectful to either of them. If anyone lived in Seattle during that time they would understand what a huge influence the bands of that time were to music. Not just AIC but mudhoney, screaming trees, Nirvana, pearl Jam. There are so many. Some who made it big and others that didn’t. Seattle was the birth of Grunge. Those bands are finally getting the respect they deserve and people are now interested in the stories behind the bands. Back then you only had the press that reported on them which were a lot of lies. We didn’t have sites like this then. I’m sure most people who follow this site were listening to that music back then and that’s why we are interested. Keep doing what you are doing. I think this site is great.

    • Barbara09-14-12

      Thank you Jody.. I made this site for Demri.. and Layne and then Rosheen and Mike and I did it so that there was some stories out there because to be honest there was not much when I started 10 years ago and there is still so very little from the people who really knew them not just interviews or whatever… so Thank you for your sweet comment and your right I’m not doing this for fame or money. It just sucks when people assume I MUST be lying. Seems so retarded to me when you can ask anyone who knew them that I was there and the best person I guess to ask since she has his last name would be Melinda Starr. I dated her brother and she is the one who posted the pic of me (above) with the cowboy hat in Mike’s room. I also have posted pictures of my platinum album… etc.. but people still question if I’m lying or not? So frustrating. What’s it going to take and why do I even care? Not sure.

  145. Megan09-13-12

    What was Layne and Demri’s place like?

    Just a simple, nosey question. haha.

  146. Adam09-13-12

    Barbara- did you say “had lost most of his teeth and had completely destroyed his body and I hate to say this about him but he looked like the walking dead”, yet above stated how you weren’t sure about his physical appearance, as you had last seen him in ’98/’99? Sorry, having a hard time following all the different quotes…and curious as to why there are people out there trying to pretend to have known Layne. I hate to say this, but a book from those that REALLY knew Layne may be the only way to go at this point. Time to weed out the liars.

    • Barbara09-13-12

      LOL!! Are you seriously questioning if I knew Layne or not by that quote? Get the fuck out of here.. weirdo.

  147. Kelly09-12-12

    My perception on the Mad Season time is that Layne was emerging as a writer, singer, musician and man. After listening to and hearing his lyrics, he seems to be maturing and may have been able to consider changing direction (sounds like he was hopeful and wanted to) but given the timing of Demri’s death, I think that permanently sent him over the edge to the point of no return. Sounds like there may have been some family issues too. Just curious if Fabiola has been asked to share info or comment on this blog? Thanks again to everyone for thoughts and insights. There is strength in numbers :)

  148. HML09-12-12

    This sounds like the same Alice that posts on other sites. Always knowing the real story supposedly. The people who run this site, and this particular thread, have given so many reasons to believe their thoughts and stories about Layne. Why would they want to characterize Layne in a way that wasn’t true? I am not so sure what to think of this Alice person.

    • Barbara09-13-12

      Yeh and now this Alice has changed their name to Adam… fucking idiot. This is EXACTLY why friends don’t come forward… they don’t want to deal with the looney’s that come out of the woodwork.

    • Barbara09-13-12

      I have a feeling Alice/Adam might be Tanya or one of her idiot friends. I’ve dealt with her in the past.

      • aharris09-13-12

        I think it is obvious you had a relationship with Layne and Demri Barbara. Those of us who were not as lucky appreciate any details you share. Thank you for the site and the spirit in which you created the site, which is respect.

        • Barbara09-14-12

          Thank you aharris.. that means a lot to me. Honestly.

          • HML09-14-12

            I agree with Jody. You have been nothing but respectful and forthcoming about your friends and your memories. And very convincingly honest. Why wouldn’t you be, as was already pointed out by others posting here. It’s hard to reason with unreasonable people like this person. Seriously…Suck it Alice/Adam or Adam/Alice, or whatever the hell your real name is!

  149. alice09-11-12

    i remember debra. very smart pretty and had a good future. dad was an airline pilot if i remember. nice family. she was very forgiving as well. remember one night getting ready to go to the music bank she said she was gonna wear her tutu cause layne loved it so much! guess layne like dancers huh? HAHA! this is before demri so the tutu story is out. sorry. no offense tho. why no one comes forward WITH A REAL STORY about layne. ugh. guess they are looking in the wrong direction? it would certainly not come from his fam or the band. layne had many sides. many different friends and was very secretive. for one or two people to come out and say anything is only based on that person and that experience. i do know this. adriana rubio and tanya DO KNOW things the general public dont and whether they are believed or not isnt the problem. they arent in anything for money. now both have been shamed and discredited for the world to see. wrongfully so tho. this is about covering up lies and blaming others due to pride and agendas for the alice machine. mostly arrogance and money. it only takes a bit of research. but since we are now dumbed down by mass media lies and brainwashed fools as a society we will believe. lazy. enslaved.

    i love you layne.

    • Barbara09-11-12

      It’s kinda like this Alice… I’m sure you have a group of friends.. right? A small group of friends like most people because no one has 100’s of people that they talk to on a regular basis and trust.. it’s usually a short list of people you can really trust. Yes, there was a Debra but she did not last long and yes there was a Rubio INTERVIEW but she was not part of his life. Please don’t get me started on Tanya Vece. I don’t know what you know about this person. ..but please shine your light on us.

    • Barbara09-11-12

      Here is my opinion on Tanya Vece… written YEARS ago now… http://www.rememberlayne.com/blog/?s=tanya+vece

  150. Adam09-10-12

    Barb/Darin- Can’t express my gratitude over the interwebz, but thank you thank you! AIC has been “my” band since I was 9 years old, and no band has been able to surpass them in over 20 years. Layne came across as so soft-spoken, almost shy in interviews yet was such a powerful presence on stage that it made it so difficult for me and others to figure out who the man behind one of the greatest voices in music really was. What are your guys’ feelings on the band today. I know many people think it’s a sin that AIC continues on without Layne, but it’s hard for me to fault them…even when they come across so corny by saying how they play as a tribute to Layne

  151. Mona09-09-12

    Hey everyone I’m loving this website! I know that Layne was friends with Mark Lanegan…can somebody share some details on their relationship…have you meet him Barbara? and was Layne friends with Kurt Cobain..? best, Mona

  152. Deanna09-08-12

    Hi Barbara and Darin! First I just wanted to say that I really appreciate the work you’re doing here, although I’m sure it doesn’t feel like work to you…more like a tribute out of love and respect. It’s not often you see those qualities shine through on an online forum, so as an 18 year old kid too young for the memories, thanks for sharing them with all of us. Layne’s music has struck a nerve with me that I can’t even begin to describe–it’s just pure empathy, and this puts it on a whole other level, so thank you.

    I wanted to know:
    What books, movies, poetry, philosophy was Layne into? And Demri?

    Also, if it’s even possible to answer this (and I respect it if you choose not to), how do you think Layne would feel of the new AIC? Or of the soundalike bands?

  153. Krista09-06-12

    Also who is Krisha from Long Gone Day. Do you remember that day cd booklet read and her name was in the list. Thanks

    • Barbara09-08-12

      Krisha.. Krisha was a cool girl who worked as an A&R rep for Susan Silver and Kelly Curtis and they managed AIC. Susan Silver was also married to Chris Cornell from Soundgarden. I did not know Krisha’s name was in the album jacket.. or maybe I just did not remember. Anyway, Krisha was super sweet and really VERY beautiful. She offered me an internship under her at the company but I was too young and silly to take her up on the offer. DUH!!

  154. Krista09-06-12

    Hi Barbara and Darin. Thank you both for sharing your memeories. I was wondering about Layne’s friend Stephanie and about Lolapalloza time. I am wondering about Layne and Kat. Also did Layne want to have children with Demri? I kind of think it’s a little weird that Jerry doesn’t have like 3 ex wives and kids lol. Mike Inez got married not to long ago. I guess they aren’t like other rock guys and marry models they met last week.

  155. Barbara09-05-12

    And … Madseason is also my favorite music by Layne. In my opinion this WAS Layne’s voice. AIC songs were mostly written by Jerry but Madseason was all Layne. AMAZING MUSIC!!!!

  156. Kelly09-04-12

    I continue to be amazed at Layne’s talent during the Mad Season timeframe. In my opinion this is him at his very best!! You can see how he grew and matured as an artist. His voice and lyrics are raw with emotion and get to me each and every time. My question is this: What did Demri think of being immortalized on the cover and throughout the CD? Did she talk to Layne often? What did AIC think? Were they supportive and proud of Layne’s accomplishments or were they jealous and resentful? I think I can guess but I wanted to ask in this forum.

    As I previously mentioned, I am sincerely thankful for all the information that has been shared and am fascinated by the story not in a morbidly sick way but in a way that is caring and respectful. I think it stems from the fact that Layne spoke to so many of us so we are naturally curious about his perspective during the various phases of his life.

    This is what I get from all this: Demri seemed full of life and energy and she lived in the moment. I sense that she was abused at a young age based on her behavior so she may have been damaged early but emerged as fun loving person. She met Layne and they fell in love. I suspect he introduced her to all items in his world including his habits. Perhaps this was part of the inner torture and turmoil he experienced. Guilt carries heavy weight! Their addiction spun out of control and with that so did their relationship. There are some unknowns though. It seems like Demri did something VERY BAD which tainted the relationship and hurt Layne beyond repair. There also seemed to be trust issues on both sides. I am sure Demri’s bisexuality didn’t help either but in many ways she seemed more free spirited than Layne and perhaps he was frustrated by the lack of commitment. To her defense, she could only give what she could give. When she passed, I am sure Layne had many regrets and much sorrow in his heart. Very tragic from all angles.

    The lesson here is to just appreciate all that we have in our lives and to be there for each other. Let’s face it, we all have addictions whether it be drugs, booze, sex, food or football and no one has the right to judge. Someone we know said it best, “ I desire peace where I lie”. I hope with all my heart that he found it at last!

    • Barbara09-05-12

      What did Demri think of being immortalized on the cover and throughout the CD?

      Well she thought it was shit because they used a girl who just “looked” like her.. like her twin for the cover of Dirt.. instead of using the real thing.. HER! So I can tell you for sure that this pissed her off and HURT her more then anything.

      The whole band was resentful of Demri and found her to be somewhat of an annoyance because of the power she had over Layne and would stop her any chance they got from participating in anything involved in AIC.

      Layne did not introduce Demri to anything if anything it was the other way around. Demri was her own person and not one to be influenced by other people.. people were influenced by her and yes..including Layne.
      She was the leader of the pact not Layne. In regards to their relationship.
      Demri and Layne had an open relationship only because Layne could not control what Demri did. He may have tried but he failed every time so if he wanted her in his life it would be on Demri’s terms. Period.
      I think a lot of what you said was right on but I hope this info shed a little more light on who they both were. Rest in peace Demri and Layne.

      • Donna09-06-12

        Could you clarify the statement “the whole band resented her …”? You mean Jerry, Sean and Mike S.? or Jerry, Sean and Mike I.? Where did Susan S. fit into the picture?

  157. nicolas08-29-12

    thank you guys for this great website!
    here’s my question i wonder if you would have any facts about rotten apple, my favourite aic song. thanks and have a nice day everyone :D

  158. Livia08-28-12

    What did Layne like to eat and drink?

  159. Kelly08-27-12

    Hello to all and thank you both Barbara and D for sharing your stories and making these much appreciated contributions. Although I did not personally know Layne, I connected with him emotionally through his singing and always felt he had deep sadness and lonliness within him. Although funny and outgoing, I sensed that he was shy and thoughtful on a more personal level. The guy had talent and was AMAZING!! Everytime I hear Rooster or Down in a Hole Unplugged, I get goose bumps. I also think Mad Season shows Layne at his professional best. Very poignant lyrics, incredible vocal range and how about Layne on the guitar–yea! I miss him and his music and we are so lucky that you guys are keeping his (and others) memory alive and in a tasteful manner. It sounds like you both are doing well and made it through alive and still kickin! There are reasons for that :)

    • Amber08-28-12

      ^ Well said, Kelly. The appreciation I have for Barbara and D-Rock doing this is unmeasurable. Layne touched so many people. He has left a permanent mark on my heart, for sure. I love hearing all the personal stories about him. If only all the people who say negative things about him knew how much he has had an effect on people. I believe in my heart that Layne would be touched, knowing how he has touched all of us! May his beautiful soul rest in peace and continue to have a profound effect on people!

  160. Donna08-27-12

    I just realized that I have never seen a pic of Demri and Jerry together. I’ve seen her in pics with Mike Starr and Sean, but never Jerry. Did they hate each other that much?

  161. Amber08-26-12

    I have been addicted to opiates for over ten years. At the lowest point in my life, I was using over 300 mg of Oxycontin daily. I work in a professional setting, as well. I know most people think drug addicts are all homeless and jobless people, but this far from the truth. I have sought out help numerous times, only to relapse every time. The last time I went to see my psychologist for advice, he told me (in his opinion) the best thing for me to do is get on a maintenance program and stick with it for life, if necessary. He said the relapse rates with opiates are so high, that it is time to start being realistic about my situation. I took his advice, thinking, hell, I’ve tried everything else unsuccessfully, might as well give it a shot. That was two years ago. I have been on suboxone ever since, and I can tell you from my experience, it has been a god send. It truly has changed my life. And yes, I am dependant on this medication. But it does not get my high, it controls my cravings, and makes me feel great about myself. I have come to peace with the fact that I will probably have to take this for the rest of my life. I would much rather be where I’m at now, than the chaotic life I was living trying to support such an expensive and detrimental habit. I also have many friends who are also on replacement therapy and they are all completely happy with their lives. I highly reccommend anyone with an opiate addiction at least give it a shot.

  162. Livia08-22-12

    Happy Birthday. The world is a better place because you were here, albeit for a little while.

  163. Sarah08-22-12

    Happy birthday Layne RIP Grunge4lyfe!

  164. Leisa Woo08-22-12

    Happy birthday Layne! You are STILL and will always be missed. RIP!

  165. Artemis08-22-12

    Happy birthday, beautiful. You are so missed.
    And Donna, I was wondering the same thing. :(

  166. Suzannne08-22-12

    Just want to post a HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAYNE!!!! Layne would have been 45 today and I never meet Layne but I do miss him and love him dearly!!!! My heart is black today because his lovely soul is no longer with us. Rest In Peace our angry angel!!!!

  167. Donna08-22-12

    He would have been 45 today. How do you miss someone you’ve never met?

  168. Leah08-20-12

    i am curious i love Mad Season there stuff is great….
    Was layne more passionate about Mad Season what i mean is AIC was the funding reason he could probably do Mad Season so it comes across as it was his baby like completely layne and AIC was more of a group thing??
    Can anyone she some light on this please??

    • Adam09-10-12

      I think I could listen to River of Decit all day long… I’ve come close, in fact. As far as Mad Season, Layne has stated publicly that the Above record with MS was the most satisfying recording he’s ever done. Not to put words into his mouth, but often times with popular bands, it becomes almost tedious to play the same ol’ hit songs over and over again. Plus, from everything I’ve read about Jerry and from what Barbra and Darin have shared about him, I’m sure Layne greatly enjoyed the freedom he had with his new bandmates in the studio.

  169. ericka08-20-12

    Ready to share some thoughts. Regret alert – I never experienced AIC with Layne live – I’m still trying to get over it! His music affects me deeply, even more as time goes by. This may sound silly, but I used to blast “No Excuses” on my way to a test prep course for admission to medical school – failure was not an option – Layne was my de facto coach. He helped me believe in myself. Little did I know that simultaneously he was suffering, as evidenced in his naked and terrifyingly honest lyrics (esp Mad Season). As someone who pledged to heal for a living, the way he died was devastating and difficult to accept – what a tragedy. Alas, he lives on as his music is timeless, powerful, and sincere. Finally, I hope one day his family will think it is OK to share his other artistic expressions with his fans. He was unbelievably talented and loved.

  170. Adrienne08-19-12

    I’ve been following this thread for a couple weeks and just wanted to say thank you to Barbara and Darin. Like most everyone has already said, the music of AIC has gotten me through some really tough times. The songs have been a constant in my life through using and getting clean and everything in between. A few weeks ago I nearly relapsed but instead found this website… reading about Layne and listening to Unplugged on repeat gave me the strength to stay clean and do the right thing. I never knew about Demri–she seems like she was such a beautiful untamed soul. It sounds like Layne’s heart never recovered from losing her? I can relate. Hopefully I will think of some good questions before the thread is over, but for now I just hope that Layne knew how many people he touched with everything he put into his music. If there is such a thing as an afterlife, I pray that he is in no more pain and that he sees how much his short time here affected others, and will continue to affect others positively even in his absence.

  171. Artemis08-18-12

    Thank you Barbara and Darin for sharing your memories and your time. Layne was my Elvis. There will never be another.
    Much love.

    • frank06-29-17

      love this comment

  172. Jody08-16-12

    Barbara, I just wondered how did you get into the drugs, and how did you stop? I have been addicted to opiates for a long time due to spine problems and I have RA. I know people on here can relate to this, when you take that pill the first time and it not only gets rid of your pain but it makes you feel great and gets rid of emotional worries too, it’s hard to stop. Before you know it your body can’t live without it. You may not be emotionally addicted, but you are physically. It’s similar to heroin, you start taking it to maintain and not be sick. Before you know it you take more than you should and now you have to find more. That’s when your life gets out of control. You hate yourself for living like this but you have to do it in order to not be sick. It’s easy to say go to rehab, but when you use because of physical pain you are left with pain, with heroin you are left with the emotional pain. I understand Layne’s struggle. On the outside he had everything, but on the inside he seemed to have a lot of emotional pain. It’s hard to face that pain. Even though he had people around him, I think he felt so alone. I’m sure there were a lot of people around him that weren’t true friends. I think so many of us loved his music because we relate to the songs and what they were about. We knew his struggles, they were are own too. It’s not about if someone is strong or weak. Some people just never get that thing that makes them fight. I think people are interested in his life because we have the same issues. The press didn’t care about his accomplishments but about his drug use. It’s nice to have this site because we can learn that he was so much more than that, he was a person like the rest of us with struggles. It just happened that his story ended bad. But we like to hear about his life because it makes us see that he was a real person. I don’t care how he died or what he looked like, those of us who are in that lifestyle know that already. I think there is such an interest in him now because the world is realizing what a contribution he was to music. I wish his life would have turned out differently but he will always be remembered.

    • kevin08-25-12

      you’re not alone Jody. but when you stop you feel sooo much better. the initial withdrawal is terrible but if you taper down it isnt bad. my way is I stop everything for 1-2 days, allow it to clear out of my system. then I’ll take a small amount, this depends on how much you do. oral only don’t snort or shoot. this will allow you to eat and sleep. the more you sleep and better you eat better you feel. just taper until you can eat and sleep close to normal and you will feel a million times better, you feel life once again and no longer are numbed out. honestly you’ll be happier then you ever been cause you have a weight lifted off you and you don’t feel like a zombie anymore, your drive returns. you want to do fun things again like the beach or having fun with your kids, for example. please do it though, I know you can do it and if you need more help advice whatever email me kevin020@yahoo.com

      • Barbara08-25-12

        Thank you for your sincere help. Your a sweetheart. The world needs more people like you.

      • Jody08-25-12

        Thanks Kevin. I’m ready. People think addicts are low life’s off the street. Well I’m a professional, I make good money, I just happen to be an addict. I don’t think I’m mentally hooked. I hate it. I’m physically hooked. And my worst fear is withdrawal. If there was no withdrawal I would stop. I don’t get high, I just maintain. The amount I take a day is probably small compared to others but my body still wants it. I have already started to taper. I told my doctor I want to stop but he only offered suboxone, which is the same thing. You just get hooked on that. I’m not trading one for another. I want to be free of all opiates. I have RA and that has always given me the excuse to use. But I have decided I can change my profession if I had to to lessen the pain I would have. I do have choices. Thanks for the encouragement, I will let you know how it goes.

        • Dande06-08-17

          Kratom works amazingly for opiate withdrawal. Look into it. I know many who it’s helped.

  173. Barbara08-16-12

    Demri:
    Birth: Feb. 22, 1969
    Death: Oct. 29, 1996

    You know I never fucking noticed… 1969 – 1996.. 6969… I use that number all the time in my passwords. I can’t believe I never noticed that..

    Read more: http://www.rememberlayne.com/blog/2009/01/demri-lara-parrot/

    • frank06-29-17

      if 6 was 9 – hendrix Hell yeah! with that psychedelic flute solo at the end….

  174. Nick Spangler08-16-12

    I remember being a young kid in the car with my dad, he’d be blasting man in the box or something and I would think “this guy sounds incredible!” and then when i was 13 looking through the music channel the man in the box video came on and it all started from there. A week later i had 15 Alice songs on my MP3 player. A month passed by and i had the entire collection. I remember days where I’d just lie down with my head against the wall and blast songs like “am i inside” or “rotten apple” and sometimes it’d be the only light in my darkness. To know that my pain wasn’t solitary, that others have felt it to. And alice showed me there were ways to express it that were productive. I’m almost 17 now and Layne is still a huge inspiration to me

  175. Sarah08-15-12

    Kevin, I am going through the same thing too!! I have a daughter that I am thinking about so this really makes me want to quit. Leisa, I have to agree that I cannot listen to the new voice in Alice in Chains. It is nothing against the band, I really can’t blame them for wanting to get back together because of their talent. For me though, without the voice of Layne it will never be the same :)

  176. JASON08-14-12

    Well here it goes> I didnt know Layne just a fan like everyone else. I will tell you that his music helped me through tuff times. He seemed very gentle and kind like people say and I wish i could be more like him that way. It seems he just accepeted the drugs and never really had a fight in him to quit!! I was mad when he died and didnt even know him. I am sorry for your loss. I think if he had lived he could of helped so many. I hope to have a conversation with you one day or on here. Thank You

    • Barbara08-16-12

      Jason.. Layne did have fight in him… but he tried so many times and failed that after awhile honestly you do tend to give up and give in. Layne did not fail from lac of trying though. He did try he just did not win the fight. Some of us have reasons that are bigger then us that can help us fight like children for example which is what helped me. But believe me EVEN your kids are not always enough. It’s just an evil fucking drugs that’s all there is too it. Period.

  177. JASON08-14-12

    DARIN ARE YOU BACK YET

  178. Half08-13-12

    Darin where are you? We miss you… Book is great idea, but please continue sharing your memories on this web.

    • Barbara08-16-12

      HALF.. the reason Darin is not online is because he is in Montana with his family.. it has nothing to do with a book or anything like that. Yeh it’s an idea but we’re not like in the process of writing a book or anything. Darin will share if he feels he has something to share or if someone asks something he feels compelled to answer. Believe me. Darin loves to connect with people. BUT he’s not going to answer every single question on this post for 2 months straight….:) I can’t believe how long this thread has been going.. haha! It’s a good thing. Maybe you guys can share with each other in the mean time how the music has effected you.

    • Barbara08-16-12

      ALSO.. don’t forget to read some of my old posts on this website. I’ve already shared a lifetime worth of stories in other posts about Demri and Layne. I think yo guys would love them.. if yo just explore a little. :) This site has been going for over 5 years now I think?

  179. Leisa Woo08-12-12

    Hi Darin! Just wonder what Layne really would have thought about AIC going on with Duvall. There is much speculation. Personally, I’m of the school that if there is no Layne, there is no AIC but…..w/e. What do you think?

  180. Sarah08-11-12

    Yes Kevin, once you are on drugs and addicted your body has to have them just to live or get around and wake up. I know he couldn’t have loved them in the end, but his body needed them due to physical addiction. When physical addiction hits it is the body and not necessarily the mind that wants the drugs. Your body will not get itself in gear without the substance going through the body. I have lived this myself and understand it although not with Heroin. Thank goodness I was never introduced to this substance, because it has killed so many talented and good people.

    • kevin08-14-12

      agree so much sarah, I’m going through physical dependcy from two spine surgeries now. I’ve had to go to the ER because my body was shutting down. only because the pain gets so severe do I allow myself to take the pills- but not anymore I’m done for good. I got two great kids to think about, I’ll keep healthy and take the pain. these opiates are incredibly damaging and you may stay in top for a year or more- but they will get you at some point. I relate to layne not being able to eat. when I withdrawal I also cannot keep food in me. I vomit blood it gets so bad. people learn from layne and even me- stay away from these drugs. they take over your life. never take more then prescribed and never take anything real strong. 10 mg oxy is the amount you should never exceed, over that you will become dependent. I’m not mentally addicted my body needs them to function. therefore it makes no difference if you have a addictive personality. you will take the drug and do whatever you have to to feel normal. you will lose the ability to be truly happy and enjoy great things like your kids. stay away please!!! and watch your children don’t let them ruin there lives

      • Barbara08-16-12

        Kevin, Thank you so much for sharing your story and being so open and real…those are the kinds of stories that actually help people. People don’t want to hear the just say no slogan again and again they NEED to here WHY and from the people who know what the hell their talking about not just assuming it’s bad but knowing how it has effected them personally. So Thank you.

  181. Karla08-10-12

    Hi Barbara and Darin – just want to tell you that wrote a post about this website and this post on my blog. Here’s the link so you can see it: http://paperportraiture.wordpress.com/ tell me what you think. if there’s any reason why you dont want me blogging about this let me know! :)

  182. Josie1521308-10-12

    TY :(

  183. kevin08-10-12

    he was photographed wearing a Metal Gear Solid shirt, I think that game came out mid to late 90’s. so likely he enjoyed those types of games. laynes pad was very bachelor pad I heard- just the basics. Sofa, bed, table maybe. I would figure (and I read) that it looked rough the last few years, he really let it go. they say there was moldy take out food all over, no idea if that’s true but I could believe it, as his priorities changed. unfortunately it’s very difficult to stay on positive subjects when talking about layne. any question we ask or talk about can go is a not so great direction, I feel bad repeating laynes place looked bad but it’s what they all say so it is what it is I suppose! it goes both ways- layne had so much for awhile everything he wanted, and I figure if life isn’t what he wanted at some point then again- he got what he wanted there too! we all know how great a singer he was that’s why we’re here! his music had an effect on us, his life although grim at times was also interesting, leaves you wanting to know more. and I think it’s a great tool to steer people away from drugs, layne didn’t want his fans using and he even said he made a mistake, he hated the stuff in the end. it’s amazing how they can take control over your body and mind like that, he had everything a guy could want but that stuff still got to him

  184. Suzannne08-09-12

    I really enjoyed seeing the pictures of you two. Nice looking couple And I would be first in line to buy a book written by you guys. I have a couple of questions. First I understand that Layne liked to play video games. What were some of his favorites? Second I am just curious as to what Layne’s home looked like inside. What kind of decor did he have? Was it more batchelor padish or more interior designish?

  185. kevin08-06-12

    ok third post sorry just read Darin was in Portland- made me wonder what Darin is doing these days- are you in music too? hope you didn’t already say this already, but can you tell us some stuff about you Darin, thanks bro!!

  186. kevin08-06-12

    and also I think it’s great no one is being rude here! shows the love people have for layne

  187. kevin08-06-12

    dont really care about the drug thing but I’m curious about the stories of Layne being reclusive- some say he was some say he got out. he was obviously in bad shape having to cover himself up- but how much was he getting out Darin? did he hang out anywhere? I think people want to know this because so many care about him- we want to know his mental state- hoping it was ok but if not- well it is what it is- thanks to both of you and I’d def buy the book!

  188. Jamal08-06-12

    What was the real story behind Mike leaving AIC? Was he kicked out or left on his own? And what did he do in those years (94′,95′,96′)

  189. sexualchocolate08-06-12

    Really awesome to see pics of you both! You both look really good and seem like supercool people. I’m not sure what I was expecting? Of course Layne would not hang out with people who were not genuine. Darrin I was always kind of curious as to why Layne stopped talking to everyone in AIC. Did they do something to disrespect him or anger him or was he just in a dark place and shutting people out? I guess I always found it interesting that he talked to Mike and not Sean/Jerry. I guess I’m curious about the dynamic within the group. Was Demri close with a particular member of AIC besides Layne?

  190. darin08-05-12

    ………or stuck on her “Doggy Farm”…….

  191. darin08-05-12

    I think Babz is stuck in PDX…….haha. ;)

  192. Sarah08-03-12

    I will definitely buy the book if you guys write it!!!

  193. Jesse White08-03-12

    Hey d and barn..been a while since I chimed in on anything. Just read the posts as they come in really:D seen the pics of u two on Facebook and now here..lookin good! Keep in touch
    -jess

  194. darin08-03-12

    Hey,first time I’ve felt right in a long time… Thanx,Babz……… had a great time and we discussed a few things and I (we) think it would be easier to write a book together. I’m NOT saying we are giving up this website! It would just answer every question that has been asked to us. Babz can add to this.. D…. :)

    • HML08-03-12

      Those are great pictures of you guys! It is nice to put some faces to your posts in those cool candid shots. You are good looking people! If you are saying you are thinking of writing a book of your experiences, I think you should. That whole time with the Seattle scene is pretty historical in the evolution of music. It would also be great to get real stories, and not some of the BS you can read around various websites. Are you guys familiar with the Icepicks and Nukes website and David de Sola? Supposedly he has been working on a book about Layne/AIC since 2009. He posted he has quite a bit of ground to cover still. If you don’t do your own thing, then you would be great people to contribute to his research. Anyway, thanks for your commitment to truth and respect in remembering your friends. This is always such an interesting site for us fans!

      • HMl08-07-12

        I thought of a few more questions I find interesting. Did you guys read Tom Hansen’s book about his time spent as a dealer, and his anecdote about Layne? Were you friends with him, or did you buy from him too? Also, did you spend time at Layne’s when he lived with Johnny Bacolas? Or hang with the talented Mark Lanegan? What about Jerry’s main woman back then, Courtney Clarke? I am also curious about your opinion on all of the stuff Dave Jerden has said about the time he spent in the studio with AIC. Was Layne still close to his old band mates from Sleze/Alice ‘n Chainz while in AIC? And last, do you know who the person KOA is who posted on some forums years ago? She apparently has been much discussed over the years since the post first appeared.

        • kevin08-07-12

          yeah H I read that Hansen stuff too. he talked about riding on laynes Harley all messed up thinking they were going to wreck. I’ve wondered if his stories are true. this is at least the second person that came out trying to write a book saying they were dealers for rock stars. I find that odd and wonder how many herion dealers were there that all got clean and became writers later???!!! seems like bs to me. maybe I’ll get in on the action. say I’m recovering and I dealt to seattle rock stars too, make up good stories. Darin and Babz needs to help figure out if Tom is legit.

    • Natalia08-06-12

      that’s great, I’m happy for you yay!!

  195. Gianni08-02-12

    Pornstar Tera Patrick said in her book and interviews that Layne was her first boyfriend in1993, when she was still only a model, did you ever meet her with Layne?

    And Barbara and Darin, you are really cute together!

  196. Sarah08-02-12

    Awesome!!!

  197. Barbara08-02-12

    I got to see Darin today.. he got stuck in Portland so I made the trip down to see him and it was like I had just seen him yesterday.. it was so awesome to see him again.. I think it’s been like 10 years since we’ve seen each other last? A LONG flipping time!!

    Here are some pictures…

    Darin Lamb and Barbara Dearaujo

    Darin Lamb and Barbara Dearaujo

    Darin Lamb and Barbara Dearaujo

    Darin Lamb and Barbara Dearaujo

    Darin tryng to steal my smokes… haha! JK. He doesn’t even smoke really he was only smoking because I was..he dips.

  198. Sarah08-02-12

    Sorry about talking about depression and stuff, it just seems like this music started to come alive for me in my state of mind right now. It is truly helping me though.

    • kevin08-06-12

      I had a tough year Sarah- I’m talking w

      • kevin08-06-12

        damn technology! maybe babz can help me out and delete the first post, :). anyways, had a lot if bad stuff happen this year. got depressed, addicted, at 37 yo wife, two kids. then started connecting back up with old things I used to love like AIC, read lots of stuff about layne and he is helping me, I feel much better. much more happy about what I got now and I appreciate everything so much more. I think we are the worst to ourselves- it’s never as bad as it seems. you gotta love yourself and learn to love living. that’s my take anyhow, I’m def not an expert! hope you do much better though, if it helps know this- there are people that care about you- we don’t have to know you- and we want you to be happy. life ain’t all bad! people care, not all of them, but many of us do!

        • kevin08-06-12

          should have said this more clearly, sorry. I’m also getting off that stuff now , it’s a terrible feeling you get inside but the great thing is the other side- living life happy with what we got. no more worrying how many you got left, do you got money to score some more. live free finally! enjoy this- its a terrible feeling to withdrawal but reality is you are in your best right now! you are fighting the demons and winning! when you come out on the other side you’re going to be stronger, happier then you ever been in your life. don’t let the bad feelings fool you, the depression, sickness, sorrow, emptiness- F all that!! it’s that demon trying to hook you again… stay strong and beat it, just a small amount of time for your life back, you’re young like me :), so much more to live for, so much more time you’ll have not chasing a score, it’s way worth it. anyone struggling I can tell you it’s much better to be off it, detox if you can’t do it alone, ask if any questions I’d be glad to help from my experience, and if you’re on pain meds- get off then ASAP, they will take you over no matter how much you think you’re in control, one day you won’t be and you’re life will belong to a damn pill!!

          • Sarah09-29-12

            Thank you so much Kevin. This site and the people on it have really helped me to focus on the positives of getting off opiates. I really don’t know what I would have done without talking to people who are a lot like me in some ways. It is very cathartic. It means so much to me. Thanks!!!

  199. Sarah08-02-12

    I just want to thank you for this website. I remember AIC from when I was a teenager, (I am now 34). I remember all their videos and everything, but I am just now starting to really get into their music. I am going through a deep depression and getting off opiates right now so I can understand where some of this music seems to come from, and to heal me as I go through this process. Layne truly seems like he was a really nice person for someone who has fame, and I cannot help but get into another depression as I was reading about the last years of his life. I did not know him, but in a way I can see how everything sprialled out of control. Everything seems pretty hopeless when one is addicted to something or just being an addict. This is something I have been dealing with in life or throughout my life. Moderation is the key, and it is something it seems like there is not control when you have an addictive personality. Layne has a beautiful voice, it is almost as if an angel is singing with that voice. It truly is the most beautiful male voice I have heard. RIP Layne

  200. candice08-01-12

    i’d pay a bunch to see them in action too. why did cell phones have to come so late lol? i also hope i didn’t make you mad with my question about pot lol, don’t answer any questions u don’t want to. but i would love to know more about what they did in their free time. that story about how demri took her shirt off made me laugh! she seemed to like the same music that i do. babara & darin, what other bands do you guys like other than aic? what bands were you into in the 90’s? did you and demri ever go to see a live aic concert and how was that? you guys are probably way busy but we miss your stories!
    –candice

  201. Francisco07-31-12

    Hey it’s me again, I have a question about the meaning of Nutshell, and Shame in You, i always have wanted a lot to know the meaning of those song, if you don’t mind to share only, thanks a lot darin & barbara :)

  202. Karla07-31-12

    I hope people catch this comment! Thanks for that wonderful insight :) These are the kind of treasures that make this post so awesome. Thank you Paula B. And to everybody going on and on about the addiction…please give it up!! There really isn’t anything romantic or mysitcal about drug abuse, except for maybe in the drug user’s mind at times haha. I’m really hoping to hear more little stories about them. Like the things that were shared earlier on, and Paula your previous reply to one of my questions too, thanks again for that. And Barbara I think many of us would pay a lot to see them on screen together yeah haha, what a shame there is no video of your guys’ lives back then. Cmon share some more cool anecdotes :) I was going to ask, or maybe already did, about Layne’s solo album, saw many comments about it – but hey, there are so many “unreleased” songs, all the ones layne never even got to think of. let’s not dwell on the depression though. Let’s look back on the happy/fun times you guys all shared. There was something sombody posted that was interesting, along the lines of “did you know you were in the middle of something so big?” I think from your lack of photos and videos, you were just living in the moment. i’m sure you knew it was awesome and of course Layne was a star and you know what that meant but since he was your friend, it changes things! It’s still amazing and you’re so proud but maybe there are even moments whre now you look back and think – what a shame i dont have a picture or vido from that day! hahaha I know you said though Barbara that your pictures were lost, that totally sucks. i’ve lost photo albums from moving up and down country to country and those are the things that you NEVER want to lose! Thank you guys again, so much, you rock for being so open and honest about this all. It’s true, if the truth isn’t there, then a lie will take it’s place, and that ain’t ok

  203. Francisco07-29-12

    Hey, I’m from chile so my english is not so good. i wanna thanks darin and barbara for sharing this treasures, it’s made my day when i found this info, this web is full of awesome info, i dont have more words ahah thank you alot :)

  204. Leah07-28-12

    Wow Barbara and darin you are doing a great job with all the questions its a crazy amount!!
    I live in Perth Australia and i remember in the 90’s AIC being big over here and it really was the grunge movement going on in with all the bands, clothes, style…..
    i just wanted to say do you guys realise how much you were living right in amongst it??…..
    Friends with one of the biggest bands of the time in the city where the movement was happening
    We dont know what the era will be until after e.g 60’s hippie..90’s grunge..
    So u were in our eyes with one of the biggest bands of the time caught up in that movement!!
    Doc’s and green cardigans and dreadies were everywhere over here then thanks to the seattle influence!!
    You are wonderful friends to Layne and Demri to keep there memories alive and the real story to the real fans.
    Thank you……from a recovering addict i see all sides and i know its a deal with the devil that life. So to bring a positive out of it and help some struggling souls in the process….i thank you x

  205. Itstimeagain07-28-12

    I wanted to know what happened to Layne’s motorcycles i heard he had more than one. And what model where they? Thanks

    • DeeDee07-28-12

      I know Layne had a Harley, in one of my Layne pages there is a post from Nancy about Layne’s personal belongings… she states that Layne’s so called friends stole Layne’s artwork and she had to buy it back, they stole his personal journeys they stole his Harley drove it 50 miles on two flat tires and had it displayed in their livingroom torn apart, extensive damage and vandalism to his car. She states “they parted his garments and casts lots.” Ghouls.

    • kevin08-06-12

      Darin would know better but I think the only bike layne had was a Harley Springer. don’t know the year. I think the car he had was a 2000 trans am, got rid of the bonnieville- but again I’m sure Darin could say if that’s right

  206. Leisa07-26-12

    Is D-Rock gone? Was hoping to hear Layne stories and NOT about what heroin had done to his body! More like stuff he was working on and where can we see the art he had a showing of:D

    • kevin08-07-12

      the heroin stuff is the most important thing they could talk about. heroin kills and Layne didn’t want his fans on it. by telling how terrible it is and what it can do to a rock star others can learn, so they don’t make the same mistake. I actually thought about printing a lot of this stuff out for my younger brother to read. if people knew more about this drug they would think twice before trying it

      • frank06-29-17

        i think you got it wrong about the heroin kevin but then again you bring somewhat of a not so bad point.

        If you want other good anecdotes about H-users, search on erowid or bluelight forums or show real raw documentaries about the subject to your brother.

  207. Lisa07-24-12

    Hi Barbara and Darin! First of all thank you for this site and I’d like to ask if you guys think that Layne would be ok with the fact that the other guys are still going on with the band..I mean, I have some respect for them and they have the right to do music, it’s just that keeping the name “Alice in Chains” and singing the songs that had such an unique touch because of layne’s voice…I’d just like to know if you guys have some idea whether Layne would have been ok or Not with this…now what was his relationship like with the other band members? and was he ok whe Mike Starr left the band? they seemed to be really close, like brothers…was he ok with Mike Inez? If this is not a really good question you guys don’t need to answer. About Demri…Dam, for all the stories she really seemed to be one of a kind…I know that this was asked before, but it’s something that intrigues me a bit too…did she use the name Parrott as an artistic name…was it her father’s name? I’m confuse by this one…I’d also like to know if Demri was well liked by the other band members, if they liked her…and if she was THAT close with Xana…I mean, they were friends right? their relationship seems a bit confuse to me..anyway, from all of these questions I hope not to offend anyone, and I’m totally ok with the answers that you have to give me…if there’s something too personal, don’t answer…I’m totally cool with it..it’s too good that true friends like you two are sharing stories of these wonderful talented souls with us! :)

  208. ericka07-24-12

    You are both so generous for sharing your time and stories while maintaining the integrity of the friendships you had. I am interested in Layne’s ‘other’ interests – art and photography. Do you think we will ever see his creations aside from Mad Season’s album? I am very interested to see how his passions translated in these mediums. Thank you.

  209. Natalia07-23-12

    I want to say also that I appreciate very much your comprehension with us fans who have thirst of true info you know
    big thank you to Barbara and Darin

  210. Natalia07-23-12

    ok thank you Darin your very kind
    tell Kathleen our love for Demri and that shes a beautiful woman too :)

  211. darin07-23-12

    “Can’t say No” by SWEETWATER…….. If I say anyting I’ve said to much! D

    • HML07-26-12

      I noticed there haven’t been many new posts. I wonder if you have thought twice, or been asked not to put so much information out there. A lot of questions do have to do with heroin, and how it affected both Layne and Demri in the end of their lives. Personally speaking, I have never meant any disrespect with these types of questions that I have asked. It is simply mind boggling to me that two people who seemed to have been given an extra dose of “amazing” were taken down heroin and personal demons. For a rather ordinary person like me, it is just plain sad and leaves so much about it all that is so hard to make sense of. Anyway, I hope someone does either of them justice by writing a real biography someday. Not all focused on drugs, but not making light of that part of their lives either. It simply leaves too much out there that gets twisted into even more dramatic stories than were probably ever true in the first place. The Rubio book was pretty lame from what I read. The Tanya Vece book seemed like total BS from the excerpt I read, and someone out to only make money off a bunch of sensational lies. (I think you even blogged about that here.). Either way, you guys seem like good friends and your love and respect shows in this site and its contents.

      • kevin08-06-12

        agree. bottom line , they should do a book, get the truths out. nothing wrong with making a buck neither- don’t either of you look at that as taking anything from layne! I bet he would want you both to get the truth out, shut up the liars and at the same time make some money. maybe donate some profits to help addicts- you could truly help others with your knowledge! please consider this, seems such a waste to not do it, when others are doing it and don’t know a damn thing. trust me when I say it will sell, and you already got the site here to promote it so it would not be a waste if time in any way

  212. darin07-23-12

    No,just been “roaming the void.” Have to discuss a few things with Babz and call Kathleen(Demri’s Mom)…. and enough about Layne’s condition when he passed (DIED)

    • frank06-29-17

      can’t wait to finish reading the post sorry i already posted…. i gotta ask you darin since i read about barbara a bit. I’m interested in your path. Can you tell me(us) a bit about yourself and about before, during, after your relationship with Layne?

      Thanks
      Response or not since it’s been 5years
      Everyone who posted good question and funny anecdotes are really appreciated.
      F.

      • frank06-29-17

        * IF it’s already posted (Typo)

  213. Ann07-23-12

    Barbara, i think you are so wonderful to remember and honor your friends as you do. You said many times you will only talk about what you know and experienced, which is so honest and good. I would like to hear about one of your favorite memory of a time you spent with Demri. Maybe a night hanging out or someplace cool you went together. What did you do, talk about, wear, etc? What makes the event so memorable? Thank you for your wonderful site.

  214. Natalia07-22-12

    Darin did we bore you?

  215. Paula B.07-21-12

    Something very unique between Layne and Demri was their way of communicating with each other. They were both very attuned vocally, keyed into sound, they would say abstract things to each other in weird funny voices and crack up, like they had their own secret language.

    • Karla07-31-12

      I hope people catch this comment! Thanks for that wonderful insight :) These are the kind of treasures that make this post so awesome. Thank you Paula B. And to everybody going on and on about the addiction…please give it up!! There really isn’t anything romantic or mysitcal about drug abuse, except for maybe in the drug user’s mind at times haha. I’m really hoping to hear more little stories about them. Like the things that were shared earlier on, and Paula your previous reply to one of my questions too, thanks again for that. And Barbara I think many of us would pay a lot to see them on screen together yeah haha, what a shame there is no video of your guys’ lives back then. Cmon share some more cool anecdotes :) I was going to ask, or maybe already did, about Layne’s solo album, saw many comments about it – but hey, there are so many “unreleased” songs, all the ones layne never even got to think of. let’s not dwell on the depression though. Let’s look back on the happy/fun times you guys all shared. There was something sombody posted that was interesting, along the lines of “did you know you were in the middle of something so big?” I think from your lack of photos and videos, you were just living in the moment. i’m sure you knew it was awesome and of course Layne was a star and you know what that meant but since he was your friend, it changes things! It’s still amazing and you’re so proud but maybe there are even moments whre now you look back and think – what a shame i dont have a picture or vido from that day! hahaha I know you said though Barbara that your pictures were lost, that totally sucks. i’ve lost photo albums from moving up and down country to country and those are the things that you NEVER want to lose! Thank you guys again, so much, you rock for being so open and honest about this all. It’s true, if the truth isn’t there, then a lie will take it’s place, and that ain’t ok

    • kevin08-06-12

      great comment Paula thanks! it’s good to hear some positive thoughts on Laynes life, too much negativity. tell us more if ya got it!

  216. Brian07-20-12

    Barbara and Darin – Thank you both for taking the time to share your stories and answer questions! You both were extremely lucky to know Layne and Demri at such a personal level. I remember when AIC first started “making it,” and it took me awhile to give the music a chance, but once I did, I never turned back. I had never heard anything like Layne’s voice, and I felt such a connection to the mood of the music and the lyrics. Needless to say, I was deeply saddened to hear about the loss of Layne (and then Mike Starr, years later) who I had and still have the utmost respect for. I just have a couple questions: I’m sure most of us have seen or heard about James Hetfield running his mouth about Layne when AIC decided to pull out of the tour with Metallica. Did Layne have resentment towards James or the other members of Metallica, to your knowledge? Second, did Layne ever consider moving from Seattle, and if so, what were some places he enjoyed going to and considered relocating to? Thanks again for taking the time to share so much with all of us!

    -Brian

  217. V07-20-12

    Love everything about this! Barb and Darin…thanks for sharing!

  218. dora07-20-12

    Hey Darin ,Layne said in an interview that he was working on writing a book.
    Any idea what happened to this project ?
    Do you know what was it about?
    He also said that he enjoyed photography, what kind of pictures did he like to take?Did he have any favourite photographers? Do you have any of his photos that he took?

  219. aldo07-20-12

    ciao peccato che non so parlare e leggere l’ inglese e me ne vergogno un po …comunque volevo ringraziarvi per aver condiviso le vostre storie con tutti noi …grazie di cuore barbara e darin

  220. candice07-20-12

    hello again barbara…i’m so glad you guys started this post! it’s been really fun reading all the different stories. I have a couple of questions:
    – Did Demri ever smoke pot?
    – What other bands did she listen to besides The Cure/Janes Addiction/Cocteau Twins/AiC?
    – What were some of her craziest/favorite outfits?
    – Is there any video’s of Layne and Demri together? There’s only a couple of photos of them together on the internet, but i bet it would be funny and sweet to see them interacting on camera.
    Thank you once again for answering all of these questions Barbara and Darin! You guys rock.
    — Candice

    • Barbara Dearaujo07-20-12

      Candice… you have to remember back then we did not all have a cell phone with a video camera on hand at all times and we did not video everything we did… in fact the closest thing we had to a cell phone let alone a cell phone with a video camera was a beeper. Haha! So no there are no videos that I know of Layne and Demri.. sad I know because believe me I’d pay anything to see them again in action.

  221. Suzanne07-19-12

    What kind of relationship did Layne have with Nancy before his death? Was Phil involved in Layne’s life before his death? I’ve read numerous times that Layne had lost all of his top teeth was that true? Also I’ve read that he had lost a couple his fingers, is there any truth to that? I undrstand that Layne was 6’1″ tall, is it true that his weight 86 lbs at his death? All of this is very troubling to me. I have noticed that the questions that I have asked previously have not been answered so if these are too personal to answer I fully understand. I<3 the questions that you have answered. Thank you guys for all that you have done for us Layne fans and the stories are awesome. Much love to you both.

    • chris07-20-12

      Although I never got to meet Layne, I can maybe posit something on this particular subject, which I was sure would’ve come up on here sooner or later. The shocking condition of Layne’s body was taken from the autopsy report, which was put up on the Smoking Gun soon after his death as well as a police incident report also published online. Keep in mind that the “6’1″/86 lbs.” figures represent the condition his body was in when they found him. It’s standard procedure to measure and weigh remains when they arrive at the morgue. The process a body goes through post-mortem when it sits unattended to for that long is not pretty. I’ve not been privy to it, but a friend who once worked on homicide cases has seen bodies in various states of putrefaction and decomposition and it ain’t pretty, nor does it smell very nice. It’s late and I’m lazy, so I’m not gonna bother to look up what they say percentage-wise it is of liquid that the human body is composed of, but those liquids are lost during that process and I’m sure that whatever the percentage is, someone who dies and is left lying in the same spot for a couple of weeks probably loses a good 30 lbs. or so just in bodily liquids. It’s gruesome, but it’s what happens to the body human. Keep in mind also that with decomposition, integrity and mass is lost in the form of skin breakdown and muscle atrophy, both also big factors in body weight.

      I’ve seen that description listed everywhere in reference to Layne’s death about how deteriorated his condition was, even in news stories, and shocking as it may be, I’ve thought that there is no way he could’ve lived in that sort of condition. A friend of a friend of mine who lived up there a year or so before Layne passed saw him in a comic shop (I believe is how the story goes) and actually got to say hello to him, and while he looked bedraggled and pale, he looked nowhere near “86 lbs, missing fingers, blah, blah”, and I’m sure that wasn’t too many months before Layne passed on. If anything, given the tales people tell about his steady diet of junk food, I’m surprised the guy didn’t balloon-up like Evan Dando did during his struggle with narcotics.

      I knew a guy once, a great artist incidentally, who was probably just a hair or two over five feet tall and probably weighed more than 86 lbs. in the years before he died (I believe he was riddled with cancer). He still looked like a concentration camp victim. There’s no way Layne was that wasted away. I’ve seen and known people with lengthy addictions, which put years on their faces, and given many of the descriptions people have given as to how he looked in the late 90s/early 00s, I’m sure that those years of hard living probably most obviously manifested themselves that way: putting the age on Layne early on.

      Sorry if this was a bit rambly. :)

      • kevin08-06-12

        this reality but I really doubt they want to think of layne in this way. they already mourned, they likely want to think of layne in his better years. this creates a ugly scene, one I don’t care to think about. you bring up a great point, the media portrays a lot of bs, but I’d guess most people would choose to ignore this as opposed to think about his body condition, it’s to grim of a subject. let’s not bring them down, we should appreciate what they are doing here, get good thoughts going in their head not gruesome stuff about a guy they both loved very much .

        • frank06-29-17

          From what i read…brutal honesty and truthful information is what it’s all about here and that’s what the comment was about, if i read corrrectly.

    • Barbara Dearaujo07-20-12

      Layne had all his fingers and toes.. not sure about all his teeth.. Darin would know.. but I believe the finger rumor started because he was always wearing gloves to hide his swollen and track marked hands… not because he had missing fingers.

    • Tera Armstrong11-15-17

      This has probably been said before since this post was years ago but there is a video of Demri in the background during the 1993 Headbangers Ball Lollapalooza. Just a few weeks ago Demris Mom confirmed it could have been her since she was on tour with them.

  222. Lou07-19-12

    Hi Darin and Barbara! I had already left a comment, but I started wondering and I’d really like to know (just like Dee asked before) if you guys know anything of Lanegan living Layne during the Mad Season time, cause I was really sure that Layne had lived with a friend called Johnny Bacolas; also can you guys provide any information on Lanegan’s and Layne relationship? They seemed to have a great deal of respect for each other and were really good friends…also, do you guys know if Layne knew Kurt Cobain..? I have read some od the comments above and I’d like to ask if Layne had a rocky relationship with the other band members, if it was always like that and/or only in latter years..I hope i’m not sounding annoying or boring and If I am feel free not to answer,it’s just that Alice is one of my favorite bands, and I always thought that they were all good friends, they seemed to have such a great dynamic with Layne! This band means a lot to me, and Layne’s voice and talents are simply something out of this world, too good to be true! I respect this new formation of the band, but I don’t really like it, because it feels like something’s always missing you know? The soul of the band…it’s just too different…anyway, thanks a lot for this site and your amazing stories and for sharing it, I have nothing but respect! Last question: can you guys tell me when did layne and demri meet and why did Demri used the name Parrot? just curious (again, if this too personal…I’m ok with not getting an answer) I’m just too happy for having true friends like you too, doing this and talking with the fans! Thank you once again.

  223. Dee07-19-12

    Oh my dear god,Could not imagine losing 3 children, it is mentioned somewhere that one of dermri’s brothers died in a car accident,Just wondering , What caused her other or second brothers death. Hope I do not come across as being morbid, I do realize we are talking about people ,people who were loved by many. I am just curious and if question goes unanswered I totally understand .thank you,hope I am not being disrespectful

  224. Donna07-18-12

    I feel sorry for both Nancy and Kathleen, especially Kathleen. I couldn’t imagine losing one child but three?

    I am aware Nancy doesn’t know everything about Layne’s life after he left home, possibly even before he left. She even mentioned that she wished Jerry and Sean would talk to her and tell her funny stories about when they were on the road. I firmly believe in saying I’m sorry I just don’t know.

    The Brandon stuff really bugged me. He obviously didn’t fact check or verify anything that he wrote. All those dates could easily be found on the internet.

  225. Donna07-17-12

    I agree Barbara, no one who knew Layne talks and we only have what we have read on the internet to go by. The FAD (Find a Death) forum threads on Layne seem to be the source of a lot of the stuff out there. Most of it bullshit from anonymous people that supposedly “knew” Layne.

    If there were any major disputes, then one poster would run and ask Nancy to verify things. Whatever Nancy said became gospel.

    • Barbara Dearaujo07-17-12

      Donna.. I’ll say this.. MY Mom knew next to nothing about what I was really doing once I was an adult and me and my Mom are VERY close. That’s all I’m gonna say. I understand Nancy loves her son and being a Mother myself I can see her point of view but.. adult kids just don’t tell their Moms things because not only do we not want to hear what their going to say (because we know it’s true usually) and because we now that nothing and no one can stop us from doing what we’re doing but our-self AND we didn’t want to hurt them.. so the less our parents knew.. the better. I bet most of what Nancy knows.. in regards to Layne’s adult life and his day to day activities.. she’s also been told by someone else as well. No disrespect towards Nancy. She lost her son and no matter what.. that has to be hard on any Mother.

    • Barbara07-17-12

      I feel sorry for Dem’s Mom..Kathleen because she not only lost Demri but then she lost two of her sons. I knew Dem’s Mom and she was an amazing woman. She took me in and helped me and she didn’t even know me when she did it. Demri left me at her Mom’s house and I stayed and her Mom took care of me when I was doing really bad. So I love her for that and I’m so sorry for everything she endured..
      I found this article that actually quotes Kathleen where she sets a some of the bullshit lies that John Brandon wrote in his book Unchained: The Story of Mike Starr and His Rise and Fall in Alice in Chains. But where did John Brandon get the lies from??
      http://icepicksandnukes.com/2011/12/16/setting-the-alice-in-chains-record-straight/
      Now if someone would of come out and told the whole truth about how Dem passed then I personally believe there would be no room for fantasy and assumptions. But it is Kathleen’s right to keep her daughters story private and she has. I just think in the long run it hurts more then helps in today’s internet age of Facebook and Twitter and just INFORMATION overload. People are going to make shit up if the actual truth is not out there. Period.
      That is why I don’t post my own assumptions or what I heard might of happened… I try to only post about things or situations I was actually involved in or saw. Gossip can hurt. Even the truth can hurt. Life Hurts. Death Hurts and then there are the beautiful memories and that is what I want to focus on.

      • Paris11-24-12

        I know how Demri passed. Her Layne and I spent several weeks together before her passing. Demri and I started kicking dope together and there is much to the story. I would be happy to share the details at some point. I am actually writing a book about my addiction and have written some “real” things about my relationship with them both. They touched my life in a way no two people ever have. I have not even bothered to read anything written about them because no one who has known them has written anything. Nancy was kinda pissed when she heard about me writing but I assured her that everything I planned to write shows the true wonderful and compassionate people they were.

  226. Nick Spangler07-17-12

    I’m only 16, i’ve never done drugs, hell i barely ever drank…but my life has been one long rollercoaster of twist and turns, spiraling down and slowly rising up. In my darkest hole i found Alice 3 years ago. I also found layne, his story gave me hope to keep going. I lost my father this january, my whole life has crashed, but listening to his words gives me so much hope and inspiration to write (im a poet and songwriter) I’ve even written a poem about layne called “The silhouette of the man behind the curtain”
    Out of love for his unique talent i have to ask

    What ever became of his solo record?

    I had heard in numerous reports and in his 1996 Tripod promo interview that he planned on recording one and writing a book…later reports said sony complained that he didnt have rights to record it or something like that and more than halfway through he had to stop recording.

    another question i’ve wondered is, did jerry really try and take over the studio? I read somewhere that layne really enjoyed recording “above” because he had complete creative control, whereas with alice jerry would try and take lead

    Thank you, nick
    and my email is aliceinkornytallica@gmail.com if anyone would like to contact me with answers, a comment here would do as well.

    • Barbara07-17-12

      I can not comment on Layne’s solo record deal or if there was a deal..because I just don’t know. I can tell you a little about Jerry.. yes he was what you might call the “leader” of the band.. he was the responsible one he was the leader type and he was also a great writer and a very talented musician.. he was also a huge asshole. Haha! So yeh..

      • Nick Spangler07-17-12

        Thanks, hopefully one day whatever remnants of Layne’s work will come forward, to me its not a matter of invasive curiosity but…any undiscovered works could just add to the amount of inspiration and help that Layne has brought to many. Hypothetically speaking if they found this “missing” album and marketed it, it might show some of this generation of kids what good music is like and the music industry can stop promoting all these cardboard copy bands and promote some originality and talent for once, ehh i can always dream lol.

  227. HML07-17-12

    I am curious why Layne did not want to do another Mad Season album. Was he too weak at the time to work on it? The first album has so many good songs and it seemed he got to stretch his creative muscles some more. Also, there is so much back and forth arguing between AIC fans about whether or not Layne would be okay with AIC moving on. Many feel that the band should change its name now. My guess is that Layne would be okay with seeing AIC move on, because he seemed done with them in his later years. Maybe you see it differently, since you knew him well. I also read in one of the books about the “grunge” years that Layne had plans to record some stuff for a band the week before he died. Did he miss performing in general, or was the band he was going to record for a personal favorite? Thanks for a look into his huge talent.

    • Barbara Dearaujo07-17-12

      HML.. I wish I knew too because Mad Season is my favorite out of all of Layne’s music. I wish more then anything they would of done another album. But I think it wasn’t as easy as all that.. there was a lot of guys in that band who were already in other successful bands so getting everyone together was not easy. :) Too bad huh? They rocked.

  228. chris07-17-12

    Been reading this thread for days and days, just awaiting each new gem of a story that Darin or Barbara has to share, and it really has been a great treat. Thanks so much! I’ve been a fan of Layne’s for years and as a musician myself, the older I get and the more I’ve done with music, I’ve whittled down who I listen to (in a “desert island” sense) to a few artists who had that elusive “it” quality: the truth, the passion, etc. Layne was definitely one of them. He belongs in the same class as Hank Williams, Townes Van Zandt, Mississippi John Hurt, Jimi Hendrix and a few others.

    For brevity’s sake I won’t try to ramble on too much, but truth be told I’ve been at a loss for questions/comments to post here but I have another question to add to Rich’s above. The guitar geek in me wonders about Layne’s guitar style, as well, and it’s become something of a debated/frequently asked question on Facebook as of late insofar as his playing on the records go. I’d really like to know about his guitar input on the self-titled album. I’ve listened to that record a great deal more than the rest of them the past few months and I can tell, as a guitar player, that there are two different players on a lot of those tracks. Tone-wise, Jerry Cantrell is easy to spot, but on a lot of the tracks there is a lot of accents and rhythm parts that can’t be him. I was wondering how many of those songs Layne played on, if you knew of such.

    I remember reading interviews from around that time in guitar mags where Jerry would talk about how much more Layne had been playing the guitar and what-not, and being as how Layne was, from all accounts, a very fast learner, I’m sure it didn’t take him long to get really good on the guitar, or at least to develop a signature tone. I can definitely spot his guitar stuff on the Mad Season album (e.g., “Lifeless Dead”: definitely a Layne riff). Early on, like on “Dirt,” it’s harder to tell, because I’m sure that alot of what he’d picked up at that point was from Jerry, and a great deal of the guitar stuff on that album sounds the same (like “Hate to Feel” sounds like a Jerry riff, even though it’s Layne playing it), but on the self-titled there are definitely different guitarists on many of the tracks.

    Sorry for all the rambling. Thanks.

    • Barbara Dearaujo07-17-12

      Chris you and me both.. I think this post has more comments then I’ve ever seen on one little post. Haha! It’s great and yes it’s been days of following it. It’s been a lot of fun hearing from the fans and friends alike. In regards to Layne’s guitar playing well that is a Darin question. I mostly hung out with Demri and Layne was gone a lot so I did not know details about his guitar playing but I do know he started a little late and was pretty obsessed with learning to play good enough that he could write and play his guitar on his own records.

    • Barbara Dearaujo07-17-12

      In fact… I think I remember Darin kind of giving him a hard time when he first started wanting to play the guitar.. haha! You know how friends rib each other.. he was not being mean about it just playful. I know Darin was also proud when he got good enough to play on stage.

  229. Marina07-16-12

    Hi Darin and Barbara, thank you so much for sharing your personal stories with us fans! :) I was wondering if you could write a bit more about Demri, like give us some interesting details, for example, what she liked to do in her free time, what smell she liked, what food she liked and share some more funny stories about her. I hope I’m not asking for too much and I’ll totally understand if you can’t answer some of my questions.

    • Barbara Dearaujo07-17-12

      Marina,
      I’ve actually written numerous posts on the site about Demri.. how she smelled what she liked, makeup she wore etc.. all you have to do is go to http://www.rememberlayne.com/blog/category/demri/ and remember to read the comments because a lot of the time I tell even more in the comments. :) Enjoy!! ~ Babz

    • Barbara07-17-12

      Another reason I started this website and dedicated it to Demri as well as Layne is because when I started.. no one knew who Demri was.. you could do a google search on her name and you’d find absolutely nothing and I felt like that was a sad shame… she got nothing in the end..in life she got nothing.. she was never on the cover. in a video.. never did an interview.. she got ZIP. NOTHING. I felt like Demri was a star in her own right and she deserved to be recognized for it and..I found that people were interested in learning more about who Demri was and today I’m happy to see that when I do a search for Demri Parrott I find pictures and websites and galleries dedicated to her. She deserved that. She would love that. She is gone from this earth forever but she will forever remain in our hearts and today Demri has her own fans. Awesome. I can’t tell you how many emails I’ve received from girls who are close to fanatical about Demri. It’s great. :)

      • HML07-17-12

        Demri comes across in photos and in your stories as having that quality that might have allowed her to become a star in her own right. Maybe modeling or acting? In her later years, as she got really deep into dope, I have read it battered her looks some. Did she still have hopes of getting well and pursuing her own dreams? Or did her heart problems and inability to kick dope make her give up in a way, and live only to feel good in each moment with no real hopes for a long term future? From what I understand, her mom is an addiction counselor. Did she try to help Demri? I am glad she and you all had so much fun in earlier years, but it is sad she wasn’t able to turn it around
        later on. I think the obvious charisma and talent she and Layne had make it all a little mind blowing that they were unable to get through it all eventually. What could have been…so many possibilities!

        • Barbara07-17-12

          HML, Demri WAS a star in her own right.. maybe not a national star but look we’re all still thinking about her and talking about her 16 years after her passing.. :) Demri died a beautiful woman. She was only 27 years old so no she was just as beautiful as ever.. women would be jealous even at her sickest. Don’t believe the hype.

          • HML07-18-12

            Good point about her being a star with all of the interest in her. It is too bad she didn’t know of all of the interest in her while she was alive. She might have really loved it. Of the pictures I have seen online of her, she does look a little healthier when she was younger. (Then again, who doesn’t??) Pictures I assume were from later, she looks a bit thinner and pale. But still, as you pointed out, still quite beautiful. Did she still like doing the camera stuff in her last years? There is another girl from a series of her photos, I think named Fabiola. Do you all keep in contact with each other? Also, as the 90’s came to a close, did the scene sort of die as all of the media hype had it’s way with the musicians? Are there still good bands coming up now, and do they count any of the current bands with Seattle roots as influences? I am glad to see some of those bands still making music, and wish there was some more new, good stuff out there. It seems like there isn’t much guitar to be found when you randomly turn on the radio these days.

      • JILL01-05-13

        Demri and Layne were taken way too soon, but I think they are both happy and at peace now and together. Nothing can be more beautiful then that. <3

  230. darin07-16-12

    Yes I was able to watch Layne make songs and also give my in put. He was amazing when writing. He would go into a zone as if he was someone else. He brought me there few times. When he was writing about something I had gone through with him. Layne would have some lyrics and would bounce them off me and I would tell him what I thought or spit something out and he would use it or part of it. I never have mentioned this except to a couple people. Example;…. candles red I have a pair……D

    • Rich07-16-12

      Hey Barbara and Darin, greetings to you both from Australia.

      Firstly, Barbara full respect for creating this site, I came across it by chance and it has been a pleasure to read the shared memories of your friends in an environment where the focus has been on the positive rather than just simply the sadder/negative elements.

      Darin, thank you for taking the time to share your very private & close relationship with Layne. This would not be easy for you, and your relationship with Layne is not dissimilar to my own personal experiences where close friendships (including those who have passed in not dissimilar circumstances) have be intertwinned with my 25 year (i am 42 now) personal & continuing involvement with the music industry.

      Now for my question for Darin.

      Darin, Layne’s amazing voice is well documented, however I am interested to hear about Layne the guitarist. From the contributions he made to later recordings & from what I have read regarding his life post 1996 (e.g. sightings of him picking up guitars in the local stores), he seems to have really enjoyed the guitar. I would be interested to hear;

      – Your observations on Layne & the guitar.
      – Did he play much at home post 1996, was it something he enjoyed in his reclusive years?
      – What type of guitars did he have/like?
      – Did he frequent the local guitar shops?
      – Was he self taught?

      Again, thank you both for the opportunity and the insight. You have both shown unconditional friendship to your friends whilst not pulling any punches about your own personal trials & difficulties. When one of my close friends passed many years ago from his own chemical love affair, his sister gave me comfort about my own friendship with her brother with the following quote which I have never ever forgotten.

      “Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow”.
      “Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead”
      “Walk beside me and be my friend”.

      Cheers & best regards for the future.

      • Barbara Dearaujo07-17-12

        Thank you Rich for your kind comment and I’m always happy to hear people have enjoyed the stories on the website and get why I’ve done it. In regards to Layne and his guitar I know that he did enjoy playing and wanted very much to learn how to play as best as he could like most musicians. He started late and was no where near a Jerry but he liked to play and he was pretty good at it too. Darin can elaborate more on this. :) Thanks again for liking and following the website. ~ Babz

    • Barbara Dearaujo07-17-12

      AND Darin can RAP! Haha! I want that copy of the Club Zero song so bad. I’d love for people to hear it. Darin and some of his friends for the club RCKCNDY in Seattle and the band Sweetwater and another band URU wrote a song called Club Zero which is a rap and they recorded it and it came out really good. I don’t know if it would be as good to people who did not know the people who are singing in the song or the stuff they are singing about but to me it was funny as hell and damn good. Everyone wrote their own lyrics.. or raps. Sonny is supposed to be sending it to me.. we’ll see.. if I do get it with Darin’s permission I’d love to share it. In regards to Darin and Layne.. they did have a special relationship that meant a lot to Darin and Layne. Layne enjoyed Darin’s company and trusted him. I can totally see Layne bouncing ideas off of Darin while writing a song.. too bad we’ll never get to hear the songs that Layne wrote in the later years.. and even if we did just have the lyrics it would not be the same with out Layne singing them. It’s be awesome if there were actual recordings that were un-released. I never knew of a solo album or plans of one myself.

  231. darin07-16-12

    I know bolth families well. And as far as unreleased songs that he may have had …… the only ones I know of are a few I have (lyrics only). And I haven’t released them so?? …… what hurts me more than anything is when people write bullshit and hear-say….

    • Half07-16-12

      Please can you tell us something about these unreleased songs? Even If you have only lyrics. Did Layne play them for you in his condo or just show you lyrics? And what about his interest in music in late years? Did he move his interest from music to some other art (working with clay, drawing, writing)? Did he have 4-track Recorder in his condo? Did Layne say something about his planned solo album? Layne had said in a 1996 interview that he was halfway finished with a solo album. You can hear that from 1:21 here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDYKjH-rThA Thanks!

    • Barbara Dearaujo07-17-12

      Darin.. I think because NO ONE flipping talks even at our age. everyone is still tight lipped about the TRUTH that people start making shit up. Have you ever played that game telephone when you were a kid? Well I think it’s kinda like that.. stories get elaborated and untruths get added and the stories get bigger and bigger until they are so far from reality it’s a joke and a straight up lie but it may have started out with a little bit of truth but got disfigured in the end. I don’t think people just make up straight lies for the fun of it I think people guess a lot. Sad thing is the truth is out there but the people who know the truth are not talking. That is one of the reasons I started this website. I wanted to tell some true stories about our friends and try to focus on the positive things about them. Not the fantasy.. explosive gossip just the boring stuff. Who they were.. people just like you and me. Just a more colorful version of the average Joe with a dash of CRAZY talent. Haha! Ok, ok.. so they were NO where close to the average Joe but you get my point. ((wink))

    • Barbara07-17-12

      I wish more people would come forward who knew them and tell their stories.. why not? It’s not like Layne and Dem would be mad at us.. Dem loved to be the center of attention haha and I know Layne would trust his true friends and family to be honest and real. I don’t think we need to answer ever question or tell every last detail but a few stories can harm no one if your being honest and you use your heart. What makes me mad is the people make money off their stories who never knew them.. those are the people who are going on hearsay alone. UGH they make me ill but people are so desperate for info they’ll buy those books just to read something!!! Anything!! Sad.

    • Lana10-16-16

      Bullshit indeed..it’s sad that a lot of people don’t have courtesy to remember Layne as an artist, not an addict. I see a lot of comments and questions about his addiction or how he passed, same as Demri. But Layne himself said drugs or his addiction don’t define him. His art does. I would much rather read some funny stories, or how some songs came around, or about his art..I don’t see much of his art discussed at all and I find the work of his I saw very beautiful. I believe he was a good person, exceptionally gifted, a beautiful soul and damn good looking..with that being said, thank you and Barb and all the loving friends of Layne and Demri for sharing your stories. this is one of the best tributes I’ve seen. I truly hope you guys are doing well and can keep this blog going. It means a lot to us, the fans, who never got lucky enough to meet them, but your input makes us feel closer to them. And helps with the grief..Much love :*

  232. Donna07-16-12

    Did you get to know Layne’s family? What about Demri’s?

  233. Jody07-15-12

    The two songs on the grassroots soundtrack are “things that you do” and “it’s coming after”. Both I believe are from Second Coming. It’s coming after was on their album in 1994 so I don’t think either song is a true unreleased Layne song. I wish so much he was still with us. I can’t stand the “new” AIC. They should call it the Jerry Cantrell band. Kills me to hear them play the old songs, Duvall can’t compare to Layne. And Jerry is trying to profit from the old songs. Without Layne there is no AIC, be real, why did we listen to them? To hear that amazing voice. Without that voice they are nothing.

  234. Lou07-15-12

    @Dee, I don’t know what Darin or Barbara have to say, but I don’t think that Layne and Lanegan lived together, by reading Grunge is Dead and Everybody Loves our town, I got that Layne lived with his friend Johnny Bacolas, and that around the Mad Season album time, Lanegan was around the house lots of times because he and Layne were good friends, and yes Lanegan considered Layne one of his best friends and a brother. :) But yes, if some of you guys could share something of their friendship or something about Lanegan, that’d be great…and YES, it’ll be more than awesome to have Layne still here just like Lanegan…two amazing artists! And thanks Barbara and Darin for the wonderful website, looking forward to more amazing stories about Layne and Demri.

  235. Sarah07-15-12

    Kegan – so cool that you mentioned Paul Rodgers he’s my main man! hahaha Awesome that people know who he is and I agree, Layne def had a Paul sound. He had a soulful, bluesy, hard rock thing going on all at the same time vocally for sure :)

  236. Dee07-15-12

    Hi Darin. And Barbara …thank you for your wonderful stories. Just wondering if you can elaborate on laynes relationship with mark lanegan.i know they lived together for a while and it has been said that layne took care of mark,and nursed him back to health.i know mark considered layne to be one of his best friends.also , I read the book American junkie .there are some really sad stories ,basically about layne and marks drug use. Mark is at his very best today.gosh, I wish layne could have made it through those dark days.. Thanks for this wonderful website.

    • T07-15-12

      Barbara and D how did you guys find out about Layne’s heroin addiction? Did he tell you, from word of mouth, or the news and gossip?

      • Barbara Dearaujo07-17-12

        We were all close friends so no it was not word of mouth or anything like that. For example.. pretend your best friend or one of your really close friends had an issue like this.. wouldn’t you know? We just knew. It was not a secret.

      • Barbara Dearaujo07-17-12

        T..
        Also…when I found out.. at the time I was VERY young and naive to a lot of things and I honestly had NO clue what it even meant to be a heroin addict. I mean.. I knew it was a drug and everything and I knew it was a bad one but for example I had no idea that you got physically sick if you didn’t do it everyday and things like that. I grew up around pot smokers and I had done a lot of partying but heroin was never around when I was growing up.. I didn’t know what it looked like or know anyone who had every tried it. I grew up in Laguna Beach, CA where that was just basically unheard of. Plus the details of their drug use wasn’t really discussed with me and I think for that reason.. I was young… at first…. This was in the VERY beginning.. however I eventually became an expert on the subject and I grew up REALLY fast.

    • Half07-15-12

      Mark Lanegan lived together with Greg Dulli, but I don’t know anything about Layne lived with Mark.

  237. aharris07-14-12

    Hi Darin,

    Were you ever able to see Layne put together a song in the recording studio? If so what was that experience like? Or did he prefer to have limited people there when he recorded?

    Thanks

  238. Half07-14-12

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDYKjH-rThA

    (min 1:21)

    Layne had said in a 1996 interview that he was halfway finished with a solo album.

  239. Half07-14-12

    To Darin: Recently I read news about “TWO UNRELEASED LAYNE STALEY SONGS TO BE FEATURED IN NEW FILM ‘GRASSROOTS’”. http://grungereport.net/?p=12426 Do you know something about it? Can you confirm it? Did Layne wrote some new songs in his reclusive years? Was Layne interested in music in his late years (since 1996)?

    It would be fantastic if there are any new unreleased songs… I can’t wait for your answer, thanks!

  240. darin07-14-12

    Laynes vocal influences were Bowie,Ozzy, Iggy Pop..he had a variety of singers he thought highly of. How about how many singers Layne influenced? The book Angry Chair is bullshit a bunch of exagerations and UNTRUTHS. Yes, Layne knew how much his fans liked him. Yes, Layne knew of Xana,photos(naked) and Demri being bi-sexual.

  241. Shea07-13-12

    Thank you so much for answering everyone’s questions. You are too kind for doing that.

    I have some stupid questions, just curiousity!

    – What did Demri’s voice sound like?
    – Did Layne ever give Demri an engagement ring? What did it look like?
    – Did Layne know just how much he was loved by his fans?

  242. dora07-13-12

    Hey Darin and Barb, I’ve been lurking on this site for a couple of years or so and I think it’s really cool of you guys that you are willing to shed some light on who really Layne was and share your personal stories, moments and feelings with us. I have some questions myself that I’d like to ask, so here I go:
    Was Layne aware of Demri’s bisexuality, If so what did he thought of that?
    Did he know about her and Xana being really close?
    Had Layne seen Demri’s naked photos?
    Take your time and …. If these questions are too personal you don’t have to answer them

  243. darin07-13-12

    I can answer a lot of your questions Kegan. Ill try tonight to answer. If not early tomorrow morning. YES,Layne took voice lesson. Thank-You all for your pattience with me. At times when I answer questions it takes a lot out of me. Again thanks for your patience…….D

  244. Melissa07-13-12

    Hi Suzanne…hang in there girl! Im certain your strength will carry you through. Im saying a little prayer for you. Remember, this too shall pass!

  245. Suzanne07-12-12

    This question is for Barbara or Darin. Do you think that there is any truth in the book Angry Chair? Do you believe that the writer ever spoke to Layne at all? I have not or will not read it because I don’t believe her at all. Why would he speak with her and tell her things when he wouldn’t even talk to family and friends on the phone. I also would like to know from Darin if Layne was upbeat when he did speak with him last or had he given up all hope? I am so tormented of the descriptions that are given of the condition that he was in when found. I have cried many tears over this, it is just so heartbreaking. I can’t go one day and not speak to my son so I can’t imagine a mother that would not talk to her son for two weeks knowing the condition he was in. In either for your opinions were Layne and Nancy close or did all that love come after it was too late? I am fighting my own demons at this time and would love to recluse myself but my family will not allow it no matter how much I fight them they simply refuse to give up on me. Layne and his music help me make it through each and every day and if wasn’t for him I would be dead today. I love reading your stories and they also help me. I am totally obsessed with Layne and could sure use reading one of those great stories today. Having a rough one. Thanks you guys for all that you do!!!!

    • Karla07-12-12

      Hey Suzanne I hope you get a nice reply with an upbeat story. i would say stay strong but that never really helps anybody who is struggling and the struggle is mental, emotional, and tied to external influences. Hope you find strength to make it through your troubles. One day at a time, if that helps….And thank you to the people who answered about the Blood Tears song, i didnt think it was Alice but like the other person said, it’s put on youtube as if it’s theirs, and even though the vocals sound off i thought, who knows! Thank you guys for clearing that up! :)

  246. Donna07-12-12

    Why did Jerry end up with Layne’s cat?

    • DH07-19-12

      Nancy ended up giving to it to Jerry’s little brother do he could live at the ranch.

  247. Karla07-11-12

    What i really wana know is if Blood Tears Little Girl is an AIC song? it’s been circulating the internet for years but there’s something about the song. i dont know, i cant be sure if it is AIC. the drumming sounds kinda different than something Sean would play…? i don’t know.. I’ve never been sure about it. It sounds like a really early song because of how its composed and the vocals. But i don’t know..there’s something about it that sounds not quite right to me. Maybe it’s just the skepticism tied to the song., but i’d love to know if it’s theirs because i really like it, but i wont like it if it’s just some group who has tried to pass as them all these years. really makes the song lame

    • Kegan07-11-12

      ^ – It’s pretty obviously not Layne singing that tune.

    • Donna07-11-12

      I think the band is called Blood Tears and the name of the song is Little Girl.

      • DeeDee Robbins07-12-12

        If you go to you tube the song is listed as AIC but it is a song by a band called thread or downface. They are hugh AIC fans. The name of the song is Blood tears little girl.

        • Donna07-12-12

          Actually, “this is a demo by the band Blood Tears. the song is called Little Girl. it was a small grunge band from portugal that recorded it in a small studio in pacos de ferreira, portugal, around ’96 or ’97. see youtube user “migneto” as he was the bassist for this band and owns the original demo as proof.”

          Migneto: “This music is not from AIC…this music is from a Portuguese small grounge band (where i was the bass player). We recorded this demo tape in the mind 90’s in a very small and cheap studio near my house. The name of the Band is “Blood Tears” .Nobody can trace this music back to AIC because its not from them…..I have the original demo tape to prove this.”

          http://www.youtube.com/all_comments?v=7UyEmXFB9jY

  248. Kegan07-11-12

    Thanks Barbara :) I really enjoy all the personal memories you’ve shared, and it’s really bought alot of light and a bit of a smile to my face too. It’s great to be able to now attribute such an obviously funny and loved person to those amazing vocals I’ve been listening to since I was a kid in the 90s. I love your hilarious tales of Demri too, your stories and memories of her actually remind me alot of my wife and I sometimes, which is kinda nice too.

    ^ – I feel exactly the same Ruth. I put Layne’s vocals in the same esteem as Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Paul Rodgers, Eric Burdon… All those incredible bluesy, powerful yet dark singers. Not only was he just incredibly talented in terms of singing prowess (for lack of a better word), he meant every single damn thing he sang, and you can just ‘feel’ it. It’s that raw, grit soaked ‘feel’ to Laynes voice that pulls me in every time.

  249. Ruth07-11-12

    Something Darin posted has really helped to illustrate why Layne’s vocals have always helped me through the dark times…unconditional love. There is a quality in the tone of Layne’s voice that is so deep and full of emotion, despite the darkness of the lyrics there is always something hopeful and loving about his voice. I think he had that rare quality of truthful emotion, like Bob Dylan, Janis Joplin or Hope Sandoval, he wasn’t faking anything, he was feeling it and more importantly, thinking about life and that gets through to the listener.

    I think that is why the Mad Season album is so important to me, all the references to a spiritual quest in life, it really gave me a rock to cling to in dark times and that is why Layne should be celebrated and remembered an incredible talent.

  250. Kegan07-11-12

    Hey Darin and Barbara, I truly want to thank you for sharing your personal and precious memories of both Layne, Mike and Demri.

    Layne has come back to mind alot recently while I’m working on my own solo record and I’ve been struggling with a few demons of my own. I wonder wether you guys could share some insight into his vocals? Everyone carries on about drugs etc, and fails to appreciate and acknowledge the sheer talent and gifts he had other than his personal life. His control, tone and range were truly incredible – coupled with soul, pain and humanity just made for such a beautiful, haunting voice.

    – Did he take singing lessons?
    – Who were his biggest vocal influences (I know alot of the bands he dug, but not specifically singers)
    – Where did he learn to write all of the offbeat harmonies?
    – Did he keep singing (aside from Get born again and Died) in his later years?

    Thanks again. Layne’s music has meant alot to me for the past 20 years, and it’s really amazing to read such fond and beautiful memories about the PERSON who sang so incredibly, rather than read any of the bullshit printed online and in magazines elsewhere.

    • Barbara Dearaujo07-11-12

      Thank you so much Kegan for your insightful and beautiful questions. It shows that you really are a true fan of Layn’s work more then his personal life. Thank you. Layne was SO much more then his love life and demons. He was also an amazingly gifted human that has made his mark on rock history and does not get enough credit for what he’s done or the artists that he also influenced. Layne was a rock GOD. In regards to the detailed questions.. Darin may know the answers. I personally knew Layne on a different level and I was so young I never had those kind of conversations with him and even if I did it was so long ago.. I could never remember the conversation. LOL. Try to think of a conversation you might of had with one of your friends 20 years ago.. it is very difficult. I remember the most about Layne, Mike, Demri and Rosheen are snap shots of memories but never from beginning to end. I remember the essence of who they were and their aura if you will… I remember how they made me laugh or how I made them laugh and I remember their smiles. I remember their voices and their laugh and how they sounded when they were mad, sad and happy. I do not remember their favorite colors or the kind of tooth paste they used.. haha! I wish I did so I could answer all your questions. I just want you ALL to know how much I appriciate allowing me and Darin to share with out judging us or making rude comments.. I swear this must be a record or something.. not one mean comment in over 150 comments on this post? Awesome. Thank you and we will continue to share.. maybe not always answering the questions you ask but sharing what we have to share at the moment. True Love Layne, Demri, Mike and Rosheen Forever. ~ Barbara

    • Barbara Dearaujo07-11-12

      I did post a post on Layne’s vocal range here on the website..http://www.rememberlayne.com/blog/2011/06/511/

      There is a lot more on this website and more of my personal stories… make sure to explore a little if this is your first visit. :)

  251. Todd07-11-12

    Thanks for answering me back there……Glad to hear that he was still doing things that he liked and hadn’t given up.

  252. Suzanne07-11-12

    Damn I so wished that he could have gotten the help he wanted in2002.

  253. aharris07-10-12

    Darin and Barabara everyone should hope to have true friends like the both of you. I am certain Demri and Layne felt that way.

    It is nice to know they were not judged and accepted for who they were by yourselves in life and in death.

    It sounds like Layne never lost hope of kicking the habit.

    Thank you for anything you are willing to share with us.

  254. Jamal07-10-12

    No problem! Sorry if that was too personal I appreciate your responses.

  255. Barbara Dearaujo07-10-12

    Demri was Layne’s biggest fan and yes she went on tour in the beginning..until it became and issue…she rocked out to their music. ;)

    • Jamal07-10-12

      Thanks for the answers Barbara! One more. Is it true that Demri died with just family around at the hospital? Why wasn’t layne their? And was he really on suicide watch?

      • Barbara Dearaujo07-10-12

        Sorry Jamal I have only hersay on that subject.. plus even if I did know.. I would not share it in this forum. That is a little too personal. I can say that Dem had friends who visited her when she was in the hospital including me.

  256. darin07-09-12

    Ruth, Demri and Layne were together in the 80s Long Gone Day was written close to a decade after they met……D

    • Jamal07-09-12

      Did Demri like that layne used his drawing of them on the mad season cover?

      • Barbara Dearaujo07-10-12

        Jamal.. I never asked her but I assume she was VERY happy because I do remember she was NOT VERY happy they used a girl who looked like Dem on the cover of Dirt instead of using her. That was a bad one.

        • Jamal07-10-12

          Did Demri ever go on tour with Layne or to his shows? And did she enjoy his music or wasn’t into it?

  257. darin07-09-12

    As far as it goes concerning Layne and his status from 1996 till his passing. When Demri passed in 96′ Layne was using and as far as him getting clean I NEVER pushed that on him. The reason why is because ANYONE WHO tried to tell him what to do would be exiled out of his life. This is ONE of the major reasons why I was able to be his FRIEND. Its called UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!! When he was ready he would say so… like I said before … he asked for help in January of 2002 and I went to his condo and spent two days on my cell phone trying to get him into a detox that was at least 60 days or longer and we couldn’t find one that he was ok with. I would elaborate more on this but there are a lot of small details that went along with this. Laynes last days were spent doing what he liked to do…. video games,cartoons, John Edwards(crossing over), working with clay, drawing,writing,etc….. Laynes condo was littered with drug paraphenalia, and just eveyrthing that he indulged in.. a true bachelor pad……..D

  258. Ruth07-09-12

    From reading your memories of Layne and Demri it sounds like they were really connected. It shines through in the pictures of them together. I am not trying to make some perfect romance out of the pair. It fascinates me, the muse behind his emotion in the songs.

    On the Demri facebook page there are some posts blaming Layne for her heroin addiction and claiming he turned his back on her, try to say he should not be a part of her memory, very sad to read….. but surely he was a major and important/ happy part of her life despite how it ended, he should be mentioned on her facebook page, it’s not like they weren’t a couple!

    To me Layne and Demri were just ruined by the drugs and it was neither of their faults.

  259. Ruth07-09-12

    Thanks for answering Darin.

  260. darin07-09-12

    Long gone day- was wrote in the summer of 92,93 when we were down on Lake Washington at the Soundgarden(not the band).a bunch of us Demitri,Freedom,Credo…etc…

  261. Ruth07-08-12

    Thank you for sharing so much, it really is very generous of you all.

    Layne’s voice certainly saved me many times and it was natural for me to wonder about his muse.

    My question is about when Demri and Layne first fell in love, was that the summer he mentions in Long Gone Day?

    Was Demri as in love with Layne as he was with her?

    Barbara, I think you write so well about them, have you thought of maybe being the one to write a book? There is such a need for one written by a real friend of Layne and Demri.

  262. Donna07-08-12

    Wonder why Jerry and Sean don’t talk to Nancy?

  263. aharris07-07-12

    In addition to my questions above I hope you will answer I was wondering if you had anymore insight behind the meaning or reason behind the songs “A little Bitter” and “Again”.

    In “A little Bitter” there is a line “you’re a wrinkled magazine” and I was wondering the meaning if you know.

    In the song Again there is a line “you said you were my friend” and I wondered if that was in reference to anyone?

    Thank you.

  264. Ana07-07-12

    Hey! my english isn’t very good so i apologize in advance for any bad typo.. anyways, i think this site is great, AIC has made a huge impact in many lives, such as my own, so it’s impossible not to feel curious about the people behind the band.. and Layne and Demri’s story is quite enchanting.
    Also (and since everyone’s asking stuff haha) i’d figure i’d give it a try:
    – by what band did Layne feel most musically influenced? (he did mention he listened to kiss, sabbath and others growing up, but was there any that he just couldn’t stop listen to?) kinda like me with AIC haha.
    – Where did Layne and Demri stand in terms of religion?
    – If I could make a request.. i’d say we want more stories! haha, it doesn’t matter what they’re about, any will do. The one about Darin’s brother and Demri was really good.

    Btw, i don’t know if any of you have seen this photo, i personally hadn’t, so this is the link in case neither have you: http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/demri-parrott?before=1340433452
    (it’s the one in the middle, it’s yellow and also the quality is not very good.., you have to go down, the upper ones we all have seen)

  265. Suzanne07-06-12

    I have really enjoyed reading your stories and hope you guys don’t let people stop you from continueing to share them. I know a lot of people from facebook that were friends with Layne and Demri and they don’t share their stories anymore because some asshole always has to screw it up. Please continue to share your wonderful stories and don’t let others deter you from doing so. I have noticed that your stories have kind of come to a stand still but please don’t be leary of the true fans that so love to hear them. If need be then sue their asses off, for the people that want to do things with your stories that they shouldn’t do. I am totally obsessed with Layne and love hearing things about him from people that truly knew him. Thank you guys so much and please continue on with the great words. Much love to you both, Suzanne.

  266. Jesse07-06-12

    Hope I didn’t weird ya out the other day D haha

  267. T07-06-12

    What was Demri’s thoughts on Layne using his drawing of them for the Mad Season Album cover?

  268. darin07-06-12

    ?????? Paula, How are you? Demri talked about you, always asked if I had seen you..(Paula B. And I grew up together).shit 88’89???? Anyway Paula I hope all is well.. I see you on facebook would like to talk with you some time???? Your decision? Let me know….D

  269. Cassis07-05-12

    Barbara and Darin, thank you so much for being willing to share your stories. Such a great idea to put this in your site and protect it. Thank you!!!!!!

    This may seem like a question with obvious answers but I think many people would like to better understand this: why did Layne stop making music and become more reclusive over time? Was it purely due to drug use or were there other factors? There is so much information out there and it is hard to know what is believable: was he disillusioned with the music industry, was it due to fallouts with Jerry or other band members, was it because Demri was gone, or a combination of all of those things, or something else? As fans we hear he was into art, did this interest replace his passion for music in later year or was he still making music but not publicly? Did he keep trying to get clean until the end or did he just give up at some point?

    Was “Love Hate Love” written about Demri or was that before he met her?

    Did Layne believe in God? Was he raised Catholic or was it some other sect of Christianity?

    I too would love to know more about Nancy and Phil.

    Thank you so much.

  270. darin07-05-12

    Layne “WAS NOT” color-blind.. Layne “DID NOT” commit suicide! ………. D

  271. Donna07-05-12

    Hope we haven’t overwhelmed or scared Darin off. :) It’s been mentioned by Fabiola and Xana that Layne was colorblind. True? He had a great fashion sense. Was it like that in the beginning? Was it Demri’s influence?

  272. Todd07-04-12

    I also wanted to say that this site is great, and kudos to you both for keeping the focus off of the negativity, but not pretending it was not there. The honesty is great. It would be very easy to say “she was layne staley’s girlfriend, she didn’t have to do that stuff” but you guys do not, and that keeps the pic of drug addiction real, where it needs to be. Anyone of us who has led the lifestyle has done things that we are not proud of, would like to forget, etc. and that is the reality for ANYONE addicted to them. “Drug addict” is only part of who I am. I have made it a small part, but, it will always be a part. Actually, if you look at how much being an addict has changed your outlook, made compassion possible for others in that situation and generally changed your personality, you might look at it as a big part. But, thanks again for the site and indulging people like myself who were fans of the music, but really knew nothing of the guys themselves or especially Layne’s story.

  273. Todd07-04-12

    Hi Barb and Darin. Barb, you answered a question for me a little while back when I first found this site and I don’t think I thanked you, so, thank you ! I have a question if you would be so kind. I have had friends who have become unrecognizable to me due to drug abuse ( addict myself ) over time. Just not even close to being the same people I had known before. So, my question is, Did Layne “stay” Layne til the end ? Darin, I see that you were in regular contact, so I guess that leans towards a “yes” but I have been curious about that. In all the reading I have done, it seems they make him look like a recluse that just told everyone to fuck off and deteriorated until there was nothing left. I’d like to think he was at least living as much as he could, or doing things he enjoyed, when he could, like the artwork, etc. But the pic that is painted is of someone sitting staring at a wall, waiting to die.

  274. Sarah07-04-12

    Hey. First I think this is really cool to talk to one of Layne’s friends and I’m happy that you’re so cool about all of this. You and Barbara seem like humble people and I think you guys are really neat and I love to hear the stories about the scene and the people in it. I’m very influenced by the sounds that came from Seattle with my own work. I have noticed that people are blaming Layne for his and Demri’s drug issues. I obviously wasn’t there and didn’t know anyone personally but it upset me when I read the angry comments about it. I feel bad that people who have passed are being targeted when they can’t defend themselves, it sucks. They seemed like great, loving, and fun people and I hate seeing people get blamed for stuff I guess. I think it’s crappy to judge people and their issues with their addictions. Being a musician myself, I’ve seen a lot of the chaos in the local scene and what it can bring so I don’t think it’s right or fair to blame Layne for it all. I think they probably just got caught up in the scene and the party life that it offers and it’s really not anyone’s fault. It comes with the territory I think but I don’t know. I think that you guys are doing is good because you’re telling the truth and also being respectful, honest, and kind about your friends and their memories. Love the site! I have a question though. How do you pronounce Demri’s last name? Parrott? or whatever lol

  275. Half07-03-12

    First I just want to thank Barbara and Darin, that they share their memories of Layne and Demri. I have some questions for Darin.

    1) Did Layne wrote some new songs in his reclusive years? or Did he even record something? or Didn’t he care about music at all?
    2) What was the last time Layne went to rehab or tried to get clean?
    3) Did you tried to convince Layne to kick out habit?
    4) Layne in his late years rarely left his condo. Is it true?
    5) Do you think Layne’s dead was accident or suicide (OD himself by purpose)?
    6) It happened often that Layne got OD?

  276. aharris07-03-12

    Sorry a couple more questions

    1) Did you read Grunge is Dead and Everybody loves our Town? If so is there anything you disagree with?

    2) Did Demri or Layne have an item that was special to them that they never lost or made sure it moved with them in different apartments?

  277. aharris07-03-12

    I appreciate your honesty and allowing us to answer questions. Mine are below if you would kindly answer if you have time.

    1) Did Demri visit Layne while he was tour?

    2) What was the inside of Layne’s condo like?

    3) Would you please tell us about Phil and Nancy.

    4) Do you think there was music Layne recorded in his condo that was never released?

    5) Do you have anything Layne gave you that you treasure?

  278. Jesse07-03-12

    Dont worry D or Barbara..nothing i say leaves the site..honestly, nobody but you guys understand what I feel or think, everybody here doesn’t really care or understand. Please don’t ever think i’d try to use you guys to better my standing..it’s unthinkable and a douschebag move on anybody’s part if they think it’s okay to exploit the feelings and stories of those who love Layne or Demri and so on.

    • Jesse07-03-12

      *and when i mean “here” i mean in my house or community haha.

  279. Patrick K07-03-12

    Barb and Darin-

    Thank you once again for sharing your personal stories about Layne you guys’. I want to also wish everyone on here a Happy and Safe 4th of July holiday! I still have that Rolling Stone issue with Layne on the cover, and I never knew until now that the band was supposed to be on the cover and in typical Stone fashion they do their own thing, and I totally would understand Layne’s resentment toward that. Not too mention how many times can you write about puncture marks on the man’s hands and such. We all knew by that time that Layne was addicted and it had become quite problematic, but I remember Layne for his great music, art, talent and overall what seemed to be a very caring and fun personality. It would have been so great to just sit down and talk to him for 5 minutes in this lifetime and I hope I get that opportunity when I am no longer on this Earth. I hope people adhere to your guys’ request to not copy any of these stories and try and put a book or blog together. I, like many other fans on here are so happy that you guys are opening up about Layne on here. It’s very nice to get individuals who actually knew the man very personally and to read the posts. Ok, a few more questions and I will stop bothering you guys on here I promise :).

    1.) If i recall right Layne was cremated correct?

    2.) Did he keep sketchbooks of his drawings? I would assume at least a few, because I do see from time to time new art from him posted online and such.

    3.) Did you guys happen to see someone was ebaying Layne’s sunglasses and actual TV Guide with his address label on it and such? Just curious how that person got their hands on his personal items, and how low can you be actually to do that n the first place.

    4.) What are some of your guys’ favorite music groups, besides the obvious? :). I am always looking for new music and bands that I have not heard of yet etc etc.

    5.) Barb you said you left Seattle years back and were very happy about that, why did you leave and how is your life going now? If this is too personal Barb you do not have to answer it, I was just curious is all.

    To Barb and Darin thank you so much again for taking the time out of your day/night to reply and actually read my posts. Talk to you guys soon.

    pk-

    • Barbara07-05-12

      I can’t believe someone would auction off Layne’s mail..that’s kinda creepy.

      Yes, I left Seattle after I had my son and when I was pregnant with my daughter they are 15 and 13 now…I live in a VERY small town in Washington and I ‘ve been with my boyfriend for 10 years. Never been married (by choice). I breed Labradoodles and we own a small store here in our hometown. I’m also a freelance web designer. I’m happy but not as social as I used to be. I don’t let a lot of people into my world ..
      I left Seattle because I needed to get out of a scene that I was very much wrapped up in and that was not conducive for a family life… and I was very protective of my son. It was the best choice I ever made. I miss Seattle sometimes but me and Seattle just don’t mix well.. it’s kinda like add a dash of Seattle and a pinch of Barbara and you will get dynimite. I had another baby with my current boyfriend and she is 7 now. They’re all really good kids and they make me happy. Basically that’s that. ~ Babz

  280. Mal07-03-12

    For me, no information should leave this website and WON’T as far as I’m concerned, I love this “concept” and personally I love to hear the stories from the people who knew them and loved them and care for them then from a book from some kind of a journalist that only wants to make money out of someone, and doesn’t respect the legacy and memory of them…like it happened with Kurt Cobain, shame on all of them and the ones who try to make money out of this people, because yeah Layne was a rockstar and loved by his fans…but to you guys he was just a friend right? a normal human being with his passions, fears and personality, like we all are…and sometimes people seem to forget that and be really mean and harsh like I said before…by the way: I love your story Tracy of how Layne and Demri meet, and the Canada story! so cool ;)

  281. T07-03-12

    Thanks for sharing all your stories! Huge fan of the site. I’m only 19 born and raised in Seattle and wish I could have seen AIC live and met Layne. So It’s nice to hear the truth from his friends instead of magazine articles. My question is how did Demri feel about Layne using his painting of them on the Mad season album? Was she touched or not even care?

  282. darin07-03-12

    Tracy go to facebook I left my. # Love,D

  283. darin07-03-12

    How I met Layne? I was “high” on LSD. In the U-District and I ran into a girl named Mara. We talked I told her I was from Montana and was passing through and was going to follow the Grateful Dead. She wanted to go and then she said maybe her best friend and boyfriend wanted to go. She took me to Wallingford. And thats when I met Demri and Layne…….D-Rock

    • Barbara07-03-12

      D-rock the driller… full-filler..sucking on a bong drinking a miller…LOL URU!!! LOVE U

    • Barbara07-03-12

  284. Barbara07-03-12

    I do not want to bring this up but I HAVE too…because I feel it is important…all text content on this website including comments is copyrighted by me so please do not think that YOU can use OUR stories for YOUR book about Layne, Demri or AIC. This content belongs to the ones who are telling it on this website and I will sue your ass if you try to steal it… JUST SAYING. :) Love you all… LOL! Please do not test me on this. I’m trying to be honest and loving with Layne’s fans but I will not put up with bullshit. Period.

  285. Barbara07-03-12

    Me in Mike Starr’s room when we were dating.. a very young me…Barbara Dearaujo

  286. Barbara07-03-12

    The Nona Tapes..

  287. Donna07-03-12

    What was Demri’s opinion/thoughts on Jerry?

  288. Barbara07-03-12

    I had to re-post Tracy’s comment because for some reason you could not respond to it.. sorry if you got duplicate emails..

    just for fun…

  289. Tracy07-03-12

    Hey Babz and Darin, I’m alittle late in the game but I remember so much of all that and there are questions I can answere, like how they met. Layne was dating this girl named Debra…something and she worked at a store called “Saturdays”(I’m sure if we all think hard enough we’ll remember..) anyways, Demri worked there too(unbelievably)Layne met Dem through Debra then Debra was out and Dem was in. Also what Barbars said about Dem and her personality was completely true. She did not want to be known as the girlfriend of a rock star and did whatever the hell she pleased but was friendly and personable to everyone she met. She wanted to be a model that’s why their are so many pictures of her posing, but I’ve got a couple. One thing that was funny. We were in Canada (canvouver, as we called it) and Dem couldn’t find Layne and was drunk and pissed off. But she has to pee so we stopped and she walked in this alley , many people were around and she just squatted and pee’d then pulled up her long johns and with her tu-tu tucked in the back of it started to walk away. She was gonna find him come hell or highwater, even with the whole backside of her tu-tu tucked into her long johns and wearing converse, of course.

  290. Barbara07-03-12

    Tracy so glad you joined… Tracy was one of Dem’s best friends and one of mine as well. I love you Tracy.


    Tracy, Darin and Mike Starr

  291. Melissa07-03-12

    Hey Darin/Barb,
    Something I always wondered is how Rosheen fit in the picture with Layne and Demri…Layne was ok with their relationship? It baffles me that with how much he loved Dem that he would be willing to share her. And was Rosheen ever jealous of Layne? I have had friends try to pull off this situation and it never works out, so I’m curious how they made it work.

    Darin: what is your all time favorite memory of Layne and of Demri?

    Thanks to both of you for painting the true picture of them…you both are part of such an important time in music history. I’m sure that a lot of that history is painful for you and I hope you both have been able to find peace and happiness!

  292. Donna07-02-12

    LOL I just saw Tracy’s story!

    • Natalia07-02-12

      Tracys story? Which one?

      • Donna07-02-12

        Scroll up until you see her name.

        • Natalia07-02-12

          thank you! had not seen it.

  293. Donna07-02-12

    Karla, you’re right. I think I was stuck on Mike’s story of leaving and not calling 911 because Layne said he wouldn’t talk to him if he did. I couldn’t have done that as I wouldn’t have been strong enough to. I’d rather have someone never speak to me again if it saved their life. That’s why I asked my question in the first place. Wasn’t looking for metaphors, just answers except there aren’t any.

    And Risyros, I agree with your thoughts about Nancy. I been bitten too for saying she couldn’t possibly have known about things when she wasn’t actually there to witness them. But everyone seems to take her word as gospel. Sorry but I can’t. Certain things she says just don’t add up.

    • Barbara07-03-12

      Amen to you all.. Donna, Risyros and Karla…Mike should of done the right thing and called 911 if that indeed did happen. Who cares if he’d be mad at you. Duh. But who knows his state of mind. He did admit to being on benzo’s at the time and my experiance with benzo’s is you black out and do things you’d never normally do.. for example people steal etc.. it’s an actual warning on Clonipin instructions.. may cause impulsive theft.. haha! SOO…. he was not in his right mind. I stole my Mom’s car and drove to San Fransisco on Benzo’s .. normally I’d rather die then do that. I never stole from my Mama.

      • Karla07-04-12

        haha I agree about the suing stuff, and thank you too. it makes it so frustrating when people act like they know someone that you KNOW they dont. AND they profit off it? im actually surprised that because of this, friends like you guys haven’t come out beforehand showing the truth. its like, some random chic is acting like she’s telling MY friend’s story? i mean that’s your story too! that’s gotta be crap, especially at the celebrity stardom that someone like Layne has. anyway, i dont think anyone will steal anything from here and if they do its very lame. and totally against the law lol. if you guys ARE willing to put a book like that together, it should be done right or not at all.

        Anyway i was so excited when i saw this post i was just thinking “no way…theyre really going to share anecdotes of what they got up to in those days?!” it was too good to be true lol. because, since we have really only had…such an impersonal vision of everything 90s, it has created a lot of mysticism and romanticism. which is great cuz it adds to the whole scene but, once you really ARE into the people who created those songs that have you touched you in whatever way – you start wondering – what would so and so think of this, or do during this. was he really this way, etc. You connect with somebody, even though you never met them, but you have connected through their words. I mean just becuse you dont see someone in real life doesnt mean you cant understand them, or try to – what about a favorite author? Layne showed certain aspects of himself through his music and lyrics that were just…what they were! so damn heartfelt! its hard NOT to connect when someone feels or thinks the same as you (or similair..) anyway thank you so much for this thread, i hope more funny stories like this keep being shared. OHH and big question – is Blood Tears Little Girl an AIC song or not?!?! i never know, and i like the song so much, it sounds a lot like Layne’s voice – but not exactly. maybe you guys know!!! Oh yeah (lol just remebered) people say Demri is in the Sea of Sorrow and We Die Young videos, is that true? anyway THANK YOUUU :) these are such great moments to be sharing, a total privilage!! :)

      • frank06-28-17

        *reading the whole comment section before posting question, but….*

        Just wanted to comment on benzo’s.

        Clonazepam does not make you steal shit, it’s an anti-anxiety med and anti-convulsant.
        You might be talking about something else.

        Peace and thanks alot for everything to everyone who participated in the conversation.

  294. Mal07-02-12

    First of all I’d like to say that this a wonderful tribute and thank you Darin and Barbara for sharing experiences and memories of your friends that you didn’t really need to do with us the fans…I’d only like to ask if this picture of the “soulmates” that everyone paints of Demri and Layne is accurate, because I already realize that clearly they loved each other a lot, but is this perfect image really tight to reality? then, from what I heard of Nancy, she seems like a wonderful mother and very worried with the memory of her son and the idea that we have of him am i wrong on this one? Ihave nothing but respect for her and Demri’s mom because it’s certainly not easy to loose a child to drugs and must be very strong women…to end up: Barbara when you say that Rosheen give up of her body and dignity you mean to drugs? If you don’t want to answer this one i’d be really ok with it, it’s just that I’m curious…did she date Demri? And also, I don’t think you should feel guitly´, I get your sadness they all seemed so full of life and so funny and great individuals and I could not imagine what must be your suffering andDarin’s for loosing such great friends, I think you’re really strong people…I’d like to end by saying that whenever the mistakes we make it doesn’t make us bad people, NO ONE IS perfect…we all make our mistakes, we all make bad decisions, and I truly think we should be remembered by the good things in us…it’s just thatI saw some harsh comments about Demri and prostitution and really what does that matters? does that make her a bad person? I never knew her but I really wish I had, because apart from all of that she seemed so wonderful and full of life, and so creative and so pretty…same for Layne, his music it’s one of the things that make me feel complete and gets me through some hard days…and everyone paints him like such a sweetheart and a cool guy…does he should be remembered as a junkie? no, i think that he was so much more than that…anyway, thanks again for the time you two take to talk with us the fans.

    • Barbara07-03-12

      Thank you Mal and Karla.. I only met Nancy a couple times when I was very young. I stayed the night at her house for a weekend with Layne but his siter took me home and I don’t think I even talked to her while I was there. Darin has ALOT more info on her. I did however know Phil very well. The worst example of a Father. Rosheen and Demri were lovers. Rosheen did things to help Demri that she would only do to help someone she loved. That’s what I meant and I don’t really want to go into detail about what she did but things only someone who loved someone unconditionally would do. Rosheen was my best friend we grew up togther.. she came to Seattle from Laguna Beach where we both grew up to be with me… what a mistake. I think me and Darin want to be honest but we’re also afraid of people using our stories to benefit like write a book or whatever.. my website is copyrighted material so I would sue but I still don’t want to have to go through all of that so I guess we do hold back a little when it comes to details. We are both however sick of all the silence and the only ones who are coming forward and writing books are people who never even knew them which frustrates everyone who loves them I think. Thank you for your comment. Your comments have been the best so far. We want to share stories but redundant questions and answers are not what we’re here for. We led a crazy life but 20 years later I think it’s OK to look back and laugh even when the stories are sad and tragic because YES we ALL had a blast. We ALL led VERY full and FUN lives.

  295. karla07-02-12

    and what kind of things would demri talk about? what did she like to do? and what did she WANT to do? do she ever share with you guys an ambition she had, or a goal? and, i kind of dont want to ask this, but from personal experience, a lot of drug usage is tied to emotional struggles, personal or otherwise – and yet demri is portrayed as this wild, carefree kind of person (sort of…) so im guessing here, just thinking that maybe she had some personal struggle…i duno, just wondering. dont want to say anything because i dont want to intrude but, if any of you would like to sahre what kind of things made either layne or demri feel downcast, bad, upset…however, i totally dig and almost preffer all the happy stories, please share more anecdotes!! you really get such a sense of who they were through them. again the “i have to take a shit” story was just so perfect at portraying who she was. you can totally see what she was like. thank you again for anything you will and have shared. although i know people can not really be described in words when they encompass so much

    • Paula B.07-04-12

      Hi Karla, I knew Demri before AIC became uber famous. She wanted to be an actress and would have been an excellent one. I remember one day she told me there was a movie being filmed in Seattle and was off to audition. Being a free spirited individual somehow she was side-tracked and ended up breaking a bone, sorry I don’t remember which one. Looking back, I wish I’d had the power to get her safely there, or at least tried. But alas, I was also a free young spirit. Perhaps her goals changed, or she just lost sight of that one. Can anyone else answer?

      • Karla07-10-12

        Hi Paula, thank you for sharing that. It definetly seems to fit with her, and from her pictures I agree and think she would have been very at ease, to say the least haha, in front of a camera. It’s a shame she didn’t get to be on film, she sure was beautiful enough. Thanks again for that nice story, I really appreciate you taking time to answer. And yeah maybe somebody else can elaborate as to whether her goals changed later or etc. Either way, that was nice enough to know! Thank you Paula :)

  296. Risyros07-02-12

    Thanks a lot to Darin for this. I wish to hear his side of the story, specially about Nancy and Phil. As a fan I had notice in some groups, specially fb that some of his fans kind of worship Nancy and whatever she says/do, they agree with her; no matter is she is right or wrong. too much fanatism I would say. In my personal opinion I do think that she is far beyond overprotective towards all and want to control all, and anything for Layne has to be her way. an example is that fans want some biography, and or recognition, documental but with Nancy’s approval. I had only see this situation with Layne compared to other rock stars. I do think she is the main reason why Layne don’t get the recognition he deserves, she seems to suffocate whatever is from him. like she’s trying to hide something or don’t want accept something, … but I get that impression from her. What’s your opinion about it? and share with us your side of the story. its nice to share my opinion with someone who actually knew him and was his friend. in the groups I get bitted lol by sharing this, and from people who are fans as me (never knew him p2p) Thanks

  297. karla07-02-12

    hey! i-ve been on and off this site for years, probably since2008 if i remember correctly. i think it used to be on divageekdesigns, anyway – i wont go on about being a fan or anything, i first want to say that i think its AWESOME how open this post is! It’s not packed with stories or anything but the idea of making such an open post from one of his best friends is really new to me. everybody i know that has “fame” or knows someone, you know how they are, always so secretive or not wanting to say too much. we rarely get to see the people that we are fans of in a personal light, or at least something close to personal. of course some things might be private or you just dont want to share them but for things like this – just sharing good stories from friends, thats awesome. i was bummed to see so many people asking the same redundant questions and things about his and demri-s abuse, its just like whatever…it is what it is. from my personal experience and, in my opinion, theres no point in sharing drug stories or awful situations unless there are aspects of it that you can laugh about for example. im just saying, i wish people wouldnt dwell on the addiction part of his life when Darin and Barbara here are offering to share stories. that is super cool! I for one would like to know things like maybe how he felt being on tour, or how demri felt about it. what made demri get into modeling and why. how did she come across decoupage…maybe some funny story between the both of them, from something they did together. stuff like that off the top of my head… what kind of things would they do together for fun. i’d totally like to know what it was like for them both when they first met each other – did either of them ramble away about the other? haha, and it was so funny how layne talked about demri to other girls he was with. i honestly cant believe he was such a…caring, dedicated guy like that. i-ve not had the privilage of meeting people like that, true friends, devoted always who wont turn around on you. and in relationships,…its so hard to find. it makes me feel happy and sad at the same time to know that layne really was how i imagined him to be because of his lyrics and actions. happy because its uplifting so to speak to know about such great people, and sad of course because…its just such a shame that we cant by our own actions help those that we wish had never made some of the choices they did. the funny thing about demri ODing and acting so OK with everything was a great share. i know what thats like!! having maybe, such a serious moment and be able to look back on it now and laugh at something that has to do with it. it sounds so cliche but…

  298. Natalia07-02-12

    and about the Demri’s voice, how it sounded? there is no video with her? :(

  299. Jesse07-02-12

    Personally, any song I hear from Layne I can pinpoint a point in my life that it describes. I can say personally, that I can’t put a “favorite” on any one song. There are others i listen to more probably, like Nutshell, I stay Away, No Excuses, Down In a Hole, Dirt, Lying Season, Rain When I Die, and from Mad Season, River of Deceit, but I don’t hold one in front of the other. If Layne’s voice can reach my soul in any song, then it’s a great song and fortunately his songs reach my heart.

  300. HML07-02-12

    That is sad about Layne’s dad. You would think that since Layne sang so many lyrics about his misery in addiction, his father would at least score elsewhere. That is pretty messed up. Are you basically saying his mom wasn’t there for him either? I have read everything from her being a saint, to her just really being involved after the fact of his death to run his heroin fund.

  301. Barbara Dearaujo07-02-12

    Jody and Patrick..

    M favorite songs came off the Mad Season album. Mostly “Above”, Artificial Red.. River of Deciet, Wake up.
    AIC songs… Down In A Hole, I Stay Away, Get Born Again, Nutshell, Brother, Rain When I Die .. Frogs..
    obviously you can tell what kind of music I liked of theirs haha.. all the slow sad ones I guess.

    Last time I saw Layne was in 1998-1999 about a year after I had my son who is now 15 he was riding his Harley he looked fine and he seemed in decent spirits. :) I left Seattle shortly after that and never looked back…

  302. Donna07-01-12

    The “Unplugged” cd (cassette -for me back in the day) was the only thing that kept me sane when I was loosing my dad to lung cancer. He was diagnosed in 08/06/96 and died 04/29/97. I had eight months to prepare and say goodbye, but it didn’t help much when the time came.

    Layne’s voice carried me thru that time. I never got to see him in concert although I had multiple chances over the years. I regret that.

  303. Geneva07-01-12

    I was lucky enough to get to see Layne preform in Kansas City Mo July 3, 1996. I was driving from Joplin Mo when I heard AIC was opening instead of Stone Temple Pilots made my day! No longer gave a damn about Kiss, I was finally getting to see my favorite band. Been to many concerts still my personal favorite, been offered cash for my AIC t-shirt with the dates on it. Not enough money to sell that! I grew up in a small town Picher Oklahoma and after living on the same street for 20 years then moving across the alley. I took a traveling job working at Harborview in the Operating Room. Just so I could experience the music scene firsthand. My apartment was at 7th and James never been exposed to heroin addiction and was a little overwhelmed by working at Harborview all the trauma and sickness, living downtown in a huge city (for me) not knowing a soul just walking around like I belonged. I have never tried heroin seeing others coping with their addictions was enough to know I could never try it once. My favorite AIC songs 1st Don’t Follow, 2nd River of Deceit. I made friends and one of my favorite hangouts was Comet Tavern I guess my question at this time is was that a place he ever went or hung out?

  304. darin07-01-12

    Babz, if you want to elaborate on the Phil story you know it feel free if not I will later…..D

    • Barbara Dearaujo07-02-12

      I do not have much to say about Phil. I had no respect for him as a Father. I will say that much. Any man that uses drugs with his son can not be respected. Period.

  305. darin07-01-12

    Layne liked Prince, David Bowie, Ozzy, and. A lot of bands that didn’t make it. “The big f” kill the cowboy and Sugartooth. He listened to a wide. Variety of music.

  306. darin07-01-12

    Babz I hold nothing. No more on behalf of my brother Layne I will set it straight. Let God speak through me for you…… your friend D-Rock I’m not even close to finished……..

  307. darin07-01-12

    This is why I’ve remained silent for 10 years but if they. Do read this hang-on .. Laynes parents are the reason I didn’t show up at Mikes memorial and Melinda,Gayle,John my deepest thoughts and prayers are always with you. Melinda this is why I’ve wanted to speak with you. Back to Phil and Nancy (Laynes parents) you know what you did and if need be I’ll remind you where should I start? Why do you think he avoided you Phil you almost got us killed you “piece of shit” you are a “RAT”

  308. darin07-01-12

    Yes Layne was addicted to video games. Yes I saw and talked with Layne in January of 2002 that was the last time I saw him. The last time I talked to him was a 2-3 weeks before he died. He knew something was going to happen. We talked every Sunday. If we didn’t I would write him a letter. The reason for the letter is because when Demri died I ended up on a variety of medications through head doctors because I never got to talk or see my sister(Demri) before she passed. I was a mess along with Layne. So I for years went to head doctors. So if Layne. And I didn’t. Talk I would send him a letter. I know there was a letter that I sent him opened and on his kitchen counter. I don’t know if this is true because I have some issues with the biological parents of Layne. tha

    • Barbara Dearaujo07-02-12

      Sorry Darin your message got cut off. It’s probably better for you to respond to these comments on your computer instead of your phone.. not sure if that’s what your doing. just a heads up on that because I’d hate to think your exposing your feelings and their just getting lost in technical la la land..because if your anything like me.. it comes out once and can not be repeated with the same feeling. I also had a VERY rough time for about 5 years after losing Demri and Rosheen six months apart. Rosheen passed when my son was 6 months old and she never got to see him and I had so much guilt and shame because she had come to be with me and you in Seattle and ended up getting caught up in OUR world which was not a safe place to be for her.. then she fell in love with Demri and she was such a full and complete lover when she loved someone that she would of done anything for Demri and she did… including giving up her dignity, body, soul which all eventually took her life… Not Demri’s or my fault.. she had her own road to follow but it still HURT so much and I will never forgive myself. I know you were such a good brother to Layne and I think you may have been the only person in his life he could fully trust. I’m sorry we lost them all but we will always have each other. Love.. Babz.

      • HML07-02-12

        Barbara, I hope you have stopped blaming yourself for Rosheen’s death. From the way you explain the circumstances, I can see how you could feel responsible and horrible about it. I think it is a natural response from someone who loved her like you did. But the bottom line, I believe anyway, is that we all make our own voices when it comes down to it. I have no experience with heroin, but it sure as hell seems to be a most powerful master, whether one is kicking and working to keep from doing it, or maintaining from being dope sick while addicted to
        it. Without knowing anything too specific, I think more powerful circumstances were at play than you
        could have controlled at the time. I am glad you came through it all.

    • Vladimir05-24-14

      Hi Darin,

      First off, thank you SO MUCH for sharing your stories! I’ve always wondered what kind of person Layne was. Whenever I listen to his music, I always feel that he had a huge heart and was a very kind-hearted, loving, compassionate guy. It sucks that so many people focus on the drug use and not on the person he truly was.

      Quick question: you say that you spoke to Layne 2-3 weeks before his passing, and that “he knew something was going to happen.” If possible, can you elaborate on that? What exactly did he say, and what did he think was going to happen?

      (I understand this may be intensely private, so if you don’t feel like answering, I totally understand)

  309. darin07-01-12

    Patrick and jody “pay attention” I already said whbat our favorite song was Layne and I always like “Nutshell”………. D-Rock

    • jesse ramsey09-21-12

      thanks for sharing your stories :)

  310. Jody07-01-12

    What song do you think was Layne’s favorite? Or meant the most to him? I must say my favorite song is “wake up” by Mad Season. His voice was so painfully beautiful in that song. No over dubbing of his voice in Mad Season. You get the true beauty of his voice.

  311. Patrick K07-01-12

    Darin and Bob thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for opening up and sharing parts of Layne’s life. It is definitely a breath of fresh air to see real individuals who actually knew the man personally and are not putting any spin on his life, demons and relationships. That is one of the unfortunate aspects of becoming a celebrity or rock musician is you think the media are there to try and promote you or lift you up and in most cases it is the opposite. I will try to not take much of your time at all, so I will ask a few questions so I do not have to keep posting a question every five minutes and clog up the message board. Really quick I like man Layne/AIC fans first heard the song “Man in the Box” on the radio back in 90-91, I was only 12 years old at he time, but was immediately hooked his voice and apperance drew me in from the get-go. I never have crossed the line to try heroin at all, but have had an on and off again abuse of prescription painkillers for the past 5 years. I do find myself listening to AIC and Mad Season when I am under the influence of them, not to pay homage to Layne, because I know from personal interviews he was totally against his fans coming up and telling him they are high because of his music and the fact that he does it. That already told you he had a heart, to tell a complete stranger that taking the same drugs as him and following the music literal was not a good thing. By the way, the first question is for everyone in here and it would be nice to get their input, but Barb and D-Rock you can answer as well since you both are not only friends, but fans as well.

    1.) What is everyone’s favorite AIC song or album? (doesnt necessarily be one written by Layne to qualify as an answer)

    2.) Question for both Barb and Darin, when was the last time you seen Layne alive before his sad passing? And when you did see him what kind of spirits or physical shape was he in? I am totally sorry for asking that personal question, but with all the fricking internet boards and rumors about him and his life it would be nice to know what he looked like or when was the last time you guys seen him?

    3.) What were some of his favorite musical groups? i did see a video of him doing a song “its coming after” by Second Coming around the mid-90s and I was wondering if he was thinking of taking a different sound approach to either some solo work or aic?

    4.) I have read he was an avid video game player, Did you guys ever get to sit and watch him play or partake in game playing with him? i know kind of a corny question, but it would be nice to know from true friends.

    Ok, once again thank you guys so much for opening up and answering not only questions, but also adding your personal stories. I tend to pride myself on what a huge Chains and Layne fan I am, going 20 pllus years strong. Just a shame I was never old enough to drive when they did come to Milwaukee, WI :(. However, there is plenty of video to enjoy online. I hope you guys both have a great day today. And that goes for the rest of the fans in here as well. Long live Staley!!

    pk- from wisconsin!!

  312. HML07-01-12

    It is nice to see some people who really knew Layne talk about him. I think all of the secrecy makes rumors about Layne or Demri online even more crazy. Sean has said that Layne just gave up fighting his addiction at one point, but that he wasn’t bitter or anything. Was that early on, or more in his later years? Was Mike Starr honest about why he was kicked out of the band? He said it was because of drugs, but it was not like anyone else in the band was clean either. And last, do you think Layne would be happy to see that the band has moved on now? Sorry…I know that’s a lot of questions!

  313. Natalia07-01-12

    I wish have a pic of Layne with his cat, with Dem at home…

  314. darin07-01-12

    Gotta go.more tonight 10 pm

  315. darin07-01-12

    I have a break…. Layne was NOT gay or bisexual like we said if he did experiment with that it was not for him and wasn’t the man I knew!! And ” am I inside” was written about the thinking and thoughts you have when dopesick and or kicking the heroin habit. It also was written about feelings of broken bonds with friends…………. people “fucking him over” jelousy…. and how its just easier to stay strung-out…no excuses Jerry wrote most of so…..

    • Barbara Dearaujo07-02-12

      To be honest when I heard the stories from Freedom James about Layne and him I thought he was full OF SHIT!! But again I do not have the facts and personally I can not imagine for two seconds Layne being bi-sexual so (in my personal opinion) if anything like that ever did happen it was once in a fucked up stupor.

  316. Jody07-01-12

    I always wondered what Layne’s relationship with Jerry was like. Do you think Jerry was Jealous?

  317. Donna06-30-12

    Thank you Barbara and Darin for your honesty and candor. It bugs me when I can’t find a definite answer to a question. I’ll just have to learn to let this one go.

    The only Freedom James stories I remember reading are about Layne od’ing with him. So I’m confused and curious about the sexuality comment.

    “Can’t tell Cantrell” perfect phrase. You’d think Layne would’ve learned the signs/signals. That would suck having to deal with that all of the time. What was Layne’s relationship like with Sean?

    Darin, how did you and Layne meet and become friends?

  318. Natalia06-30-12

    Yes it does!! :) but separately “de Araujo” or just “Araujo”

    • Barbara07-02-12

      Natalie, Yes that is the correct spelling of my name.. de Araujo. I just don’t always spell it that way I guess online..

      • Natalia07-02-12

        yeah Barb, very common… maybe your descendants are from here or Portugal or Spain?….

        • Barbara Dearaujo07-02-12

          Yeh, my Dad is Portugese and Dutch and my mom is full Irish Scottish. I’m always interested in people’s heritage. Darin is white (not sure which kinda white… haha) and Filipino.

  319. Barbara06-30-12

    I heard that my last name Dearaujo is really common in Brazil? Is that true?

  320. Natalia06-30-12

    heehee sorry Barbara I’m from Brazil, speaks portuguese
    my english sucks most of the times, lol I love Dem, this crazy one lovely little girl, such fun!! little hippie

    I watched the video, but what Mike said that you dont believe?

    • Barbara07-02-12

      I personally have no clue.. I don’t want to believe it. Darin does not believe it AT all. I think if it is true then it disturbs me and it made me cry to think Mike would of left Layne like that but I was happy to see that Layne’s Mom removed the shame from him and it looked like Mike had a alot of shame surrounding Layne but not sure if that story was why. It Disturbs me ALOT. I don’t know if it is true. I did care for Mike so I don’t want to talk badly about him AT ALL. Mike had a HUGE heart and if he did anything like that it was because he was not in his right mind. Period. Once again.. drugs are to blame.

  321. Natalia06-30-12

    oh, and what is about the expression “hang-on I gotta shit”?

    • Barbara06-30-12

      What language do you speak? Spanish? Italian? I thought this would be kind of a universal one haha!
      This is funny …to try to explain what these common sayings mean.
      “Hang on” means to “wait” and “I gotta shit” means to go to the bathroom..feces..poopie..ewww..
      And the reason it’s funny probably is because it would be a very impolite and crazy thing to say in proper society..especially with no shirt on.. and it is not something most young beautiful women will talk about with young men and especially not young men that she JUST meets.

  322. Natalia06-30-12

    Thank you so much Barb!! And yes, I understood what you wrote..
    just some words I didnt know… I’ll check it!
    thanks again sweetie :) love you guys

  323. Natalia06-30-12

    OMG help I’m confused!!
    1#What means “hang-on I gotta shit”? (sorry, I didnt understand)
    2#What means “OD’ing”? CPR? Narcan?ER?
    3#Can you clarify about “Can’t tell Cantrell”? (I didnt understand…)
    4#What is the story that Mike told on celebrity rehab?
    5#What means “was on the run 24/7”? (OMG sorry about my ignorance)
    haha omg I love the story about Layne’s cat!!! sweet sweet Layne I love him!!! thank you D-Rock, such fun
    6#What is “he loved LL COOL J.”?
    please someone help me?!

  324. darin06-30-12

    The story I told also ties in with the Nothing song” I also no about %98 of what songs Layne wrote lyrically. I was apart of a few a word or line here and there. I was his. Sound board when it came to it. Our favorite song was “NUTSHELL” and he loved LL COOL J. …. So if you want to know the meaning and what a lot of the songs “Layne” wrote feel free to ask…….D-Rock

    • Jesse White06-30-12

      Alright Darin..I know the lyrics can be obvious..but two songs I like besides nutshell is “am I inside ” and I like “no excuses” because the song itself sounded like an epiphany moment..to cut the shit and get straight. What was he writing about.?

  325. darin06-30-12

    Freedom if your out there let’s talk…….. D-Rock

  326. darin06-30-12

    I remember Simone yes it was a fling and as I said before when Layne was with her they probably talked about what he should do about Demri! Haha As I remember Demri was never out of Laynes or my life for more than a few months at a time. Layne with our addiction(s). Never had time to have a relationship. Thanks D

  327. darin06-30-12

    At Laynes private Memorial I told this story.”wanna hear it???” So I go over to Laynese Let myself in I’m standing in the kitchen and I keep hearing Layne saying “ittik,ittik” it goes on for a few again “ittik,ittik” finally I’m like Layne what are you saying. He says Sadie his cat got into the garbage and he was punishing her by calling her “Kitty” backwards. Classic. That was the Layne I knew. Physical violence he was against unless he saw the weak ones getting picked on he would step-up and protect thanks

    • JOHNNY B02-10-14

      Hey darin hows it goin just wanted to say hey so hey lol.I never knew or met layne was he a really nice guy you said he would stick up for people being picked on im that sorta bloke to i hate really hate bullys .Im already banned from facebook,and utube for sticking up for layne some people are just cunts and they need a slap no one would bad mouth layne to me ill tell ya buddy.That story of layne really had me laughing bad kitty lmfao lol.Any how just wanted aswell to tell you ive beaten a cocaine habbit and oxycontin habbit .Layne inspired me i still smoke the bubblegum like but thats it i locked myself away sweating and feeling awfull listening to layne he really helped me any how better get off will write you again soon if ok .Glad layne had good friends like you and barb keep it up all my best johnny b ..

  328. darin06-30-12

    I’m going to be busy today so I won’t post until. tonight. But in a nutshell Babz put it best on Layne n Dems break-up. Many factors as we discussed on the phone for an hour but drugs is basically the under lining factor of the break-up. Story time…… next

  329. Lindsey06-30-12

    Is that the Australian model?? I know in the Spin magazine the band was in, with layne in black and white on the cover, he talks about his new, model girlfriend from australia. Never heard anything else about her.

    • DeeDee Robbins06-30-12

      Yes. She was australian and also a drug dealer. She went to prison now or is at least a waiting trail for drug dealing. I haven’t seen the spin magazine article but the chick who posted it her name was Amber and she stated she was a friend of Demri’s .

  330. DeeDee Robbins06-30-12

    I just wanted to know if there is any truth about Layne being involved with a model named Simon Farrow Starr. In one of my Layne websites, a friend of Demri’s talks about our Layne broke up with Demri to get with Simone and apprently to her Layne was head over heels in love. I haven’t come across anything about this story before.

    • Lindsey06-30-12

      Hey DeeDee… what website are you referring to?

  331. darkesthour06-30-12

    Were you guys friends with James Allred, was he Freedom James? He has some pretty interesting stories about Layne.

    • Barbara06-30-12

      I do not remember Freedom James but I have spoken to him online and I know his stories.. Darin remembers him and also knows the stories.. when I brought it up with Darin tonight on the phone he said I’d love to talk to Freedom James but either one of us know if the stories are true. Layne may have experimented with that part of his sexuality but I can not say for sure that it did happen or not because I have NO facts and I like to go on facts not just assumptions or hearsay… so I just don’t know the answer to that one but yes I know all about what Freedom James claims happened.

    • Gianni06-30-12

      Where are these stories?

      • Barbara06-30-12

        Darin’s personal stories are in the comments above..comments to this post. Darin wanted to have a dialog with people not just write a story… so the stories are here in the conversations.

        • Natalia06-30-12

          I think Gianni is asking about the Freedom James’ stories…
          I never heard it too…Layne was bissexual?

        • Gianni07-01-12

          Yes I have never heard of Freedom James, where are his stories?

          • Barbara07-21-12

            I do not believe he’s ever published his stories on a blog or what have you but maybe he has I don’t know.. he contacted me personally and told me that he and Layne had a “relationship”. I personally think he’s full of shit. But yeh… that’s what Freedom James says.. sounds to me like he wants to shock and surprise people for attention.

  332. Donna06-30-12

    So Demri was the “one”. Ok got that. What drove them apart?

    • Barbara06-30-12

      Donna that is the riddle isn’t it.. I talked with Darin tonight for 2 hours on the phone and asked if he could please answer this questions because for the past 8 years or how ever long I’ve been writing this website.. I have never been able to answer that questions and it’s the #1 asked question.. and basically what it came down to was either one of us know. Darin believes she did what she did because she did not want to have to answer to anyone and she was wild at heart and was on the run 24/7 and money or no money she was going to do what she wanted. Layne was worried about her health and did not want to watch her kill herself. She developed a serious heart condition, Endocarditis that kept her in and out of the hospital for years.. but even before that she was running wild doing things you’d think that a true “rock stars girlfriend” would never NEED to do .. but that’s because she really didn’t..Layne would NEVER turn her away and he never did as far as me and Darin can remember.. it was just because Demri wanted to do what DEMRI wanted to do and she never wanted to feel like she was under a guys thumb or pocket book..and not that Layne ever even tried to make her feel that way either.. he was not a controling type of guy or boyfriend… but that is why THIS question is a riddle and one that we can NEVER honestly answer for people..only Layne and Demri know and maybe even they don’t know.. we just don’t know why things went the way they did. We just know that they both loved each other and that they were both BAD addicts that were also very powerful individuals and full of magic and together they were a power house of magic and chemistry. If I were to answer I’d say drugs broke them up. Drugs ruined the magic. Drugs are to blame here. The end.

  333. Jesse06-30-12

    P.S…
    the “Angry Chair” candle tattoos are awesome Darin!

  334. darin06-30-12

    Let me say this I DO NOT believe Mike was there when Layne passed. Mike would have died with him.. Mike and I spoke for hours a couple days after Laynes passing. Layne had a couple of his guitars and he wanted them back. Oh!!! And those of you that used Layne as a pawn shop ya killed him. I took a few calls from people whom claimed that Layne had something of theirs. Go fuck yourself contact. This DOES NOT have anything to do with Mike. Mike was a friend.

  335. Jesse06-30-12

    Ok, back online. I had gotten a ton of email notifications on my phone and i couldn’t wait to get back!!
    Darin-my email is jd-white27@live.com so you can email me freely. I live in Missouri so sometimes the times conflict, depending where your at, but i promise i’ll respond as SOON as i Can!!
    It’s refreshing to get back on here and talk again! sorry for the hiatus barbara. I see your updates on fb all the time I just forget to say anything! I guess since we’re brutally honest here, I gotta say, i felt at one time, like some stalker Layne Staley fan. I didn’t feel like that, but from the outside looking in, i guess it coulda been perceived like that. And one more time, THANK YOU BARBARA FOR YOUR PATIENCE!! To elaborate a little more on the first post i put… I had surgery on my leg for some infection and was laid up off of work and school for about a month and a half. Music has always been apart of me. Alice in Chains and Layne feels as if they fit to me like a glove. I remember laying in bed on my computer and downloading anything “layne” music i could get..it mesmerized me, and brought me to tears. No matter the song…
    ….it truly was tough. I couldn’t even give you a straight answer why it was tough. I’m 19 and never had the chance to know layne..but something guided me. I somehow through a search found Barbara’s name. Through her name, i found this site, and behold. She was gracious and patient as I confided in her and as she told stories. I kept having (and still) dreams of him and demri, some of them together, some not. I would have dreams of layne and I at some small house with unrecognizable faces around us. We were sitting at a couch and he had a cigarette in his hand. He looked at me as plain as day..and told me “Dude, it’s gonna be alright”, this point in time that i had the dream, was my lowest. I woke up from that dream shaking, crying, and sweating. I feel, as crazy as it could be, that somehow, someway, layne was reaching out to me….it’s farfetched..but it meant the world to me having that dream. But ya know..somehow i found barbara…somehow I am chatting with Layne’s best friend…it oogles me sometimes to think of what could be goin on. Anyhoo…this post is UBER long now and should be put into a novel, so i’ll let you all talk :D

  336. Barbara06-30-12

    and if it WAS true then shame on Mike

  337. darin06-30-12

    You know let’s put this I know of only one relationship that matters pertaining to Layne and that was Demri

    • Barbara06-30-12

      Haha and he leaves us hanging.. technical FOUL… I never personally believed the story Mike told on celebrity rehab as much as I cared about Mike.. I got to be honest.

    • darin06-30-12

      All the bitches out that there who wanted to be with Layne or maybe end up in on of his songs….Check this out! We only heard of DEMRI.. if you lose your soulmate and your strung-out on heroin/crack? Do the math!!! Layne as I’ve said was the most loving human that I ever met… he showed and taught me the meaning of “Uncondional LOVE” but no other women really mattered to him so yeah.. Layne did have sex with a couple of other women but even if he did his conversations with these other women mainly consisted of what Layne should do about Demri….Haha! He never cared emotionally about anyone else.

      • Jesse06-30-12

        Ya know..i could only hear “Demri” in his voice when he sang…”Died” made sense…i can feel the anger he had in himself..and it seemed a little at her cuz she left him on earth to figure shit out on his own but then you can tell the anger in himself that he should’ve stopped what she was doing..it sucks. I can’t ever imagine having the love of my life ripped away..i couldn’t imagine it…

  338. Liz06-30-12

    Might be – Nat could be David’s Natalie. She’s on FB too.

    Darin – what do you think really happened the day Layne died? Do you think Mike saw him die and then left? And if Mike was addicted to heroin, wouldn’t he have gone back to Layne’s to get more dope or take something to sell? I’ve heard some pretty bad stories about Mike’s activities like that.

    • Barbara06-30-12

      Oh shit.. here we go…