March 5th.. Forever Loved. Layne Staley.

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LAYNE STALEY OF ALICE IN CHAINS

Well.. it’s been 10 years today since Layne passed away and honestly I still can not even fathom that it’s been that long.. I’ve had another child since then and so many things have happened in my life.. I can’t help but wonder where Layne, Demri and Mike would be today if maybe they had made some different choices. I’m not even sure it’s all about choices or if it’s destiny or if possibly someone up in the sky has a big plan for us all. Who knows. I admit to know nothing.
All I know is I lost people who meant a lot to me and that their deaths paralyzed and devastated me.

First it was Demri and then 6 months later Rosheen and then Layne and then Mike.. so yeh by the time Mike died.. I had become numb and just hurt.

I started posting about Demri 12 years ago on my Livejournal mostly because I missed her and because it bothered me that no one even knew who she was.. I felt that she deserved to be remembered too.. and maybe she was not famous or in a band but she was someone that mattered enough to be remembered. I was happy to see people were interested and people did want to know about her..then Layne passed away and I started this website and I wrote more about my memories and stories about what they were like as “normal” people and how they had effected me personally. I hated that Layne was not remembered for being one of the MOST amazing musician we’ve had in our generation but more for the reclusive drug addicted man talked about in the media.. I believe his true fans and friends knew better..him being a drug addict did not take away from the amazing person he was and it was the shame he felt that made him become reclusive..

This site has helped me so much to heal and I’d like to believe it has helped others as well.
I don’t cry randomly as much anymore. Time does heal I guess but I think writing for me has been even more helpful then time alone. I always wished more people would come forward and share their stories about them online and that has finally happened now that we have Facebook and everyone.. including their Mothers are plugged in. Haha!
Yep including mine. :)

Melinda and Gayla Starr have shared their pictures and their memories of Mike. Pictures of Demri are still few and far between but they come out of the blue now and then. I wish there were more of her being just Dem and less of her posing for photographers. (not to take away from the beautiful pictures we have of her by Jack Plasky). I’am grateful for those pictures because with out them we would have next to nothing.

But who would not like to see more photos like this…..
Demri Lara Parott

Anyway, sorry if I get off track but I can not think of Layne with out thinking of Dem…I miss them both.

I still feel like I’ve said almost everything I have to say about them and now I just have to heal and move on. They will forever be in my heart and my mind and I will never in a million years forget the good times we shared. Rest in Peace Layne and Demri and Mike and Rosheen and Please Lord do not let this list get longer.



  1. Reginald C04-15-14

    Hey there! Exceptional blog post you had indeed. For me personally, you have explained all the necessary pointers and I had even wrote them down for future reading. Continue the good work and thank you for writing the lovely tips!

  2. Wiley03-31-14

    It’s nearly impossible to find experienced people about this subject,
    but you seem like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks

  3. JOHNNY B02-10-14

    Hey b hows it going happy new year ,thanks for all the storys love layne and demi never had the pleasure of meeting them i recently gave up a cocaine and oxy habbit all thanks to alice in chains, My girlfriend had enough i locked my self away for wheeks just crying sweating and listening to layne i really feel for him demi and mike ,So i just wanted to say thank you for this site it kept me sane.Was layne a really nice guy i think about him all the time makes me sad how he is gone and the way the media make him out to be they know shit. Makes me angry. in the media .His voice and soul where to good for this world when we see what a shit state the world is in any way im rambeling on so thank you god bless you and take care your pal on the web .Keep up the good work . johnny b

  4. belen07-19-13

    layne fue uno de los mejores vocalista de los 90s su vos era profunda desgarradora y muy varonil ademas sabia transmitir emociones ademas de ser guapisimo para mi era una de los mas lindo era alto rubio precioso tambiem jerry era hermoso su pelo era hermoso y bien varolines dificil encontrar hombres asi aca no se encuentran layne era hermoso y muy hombre sensual

  5. Yane07-17-13

    Hey Barbara. I’ve loved your web site, and everything you talk about.
    I just wanted to know if you got some funny story of Demri. Or a funny story ’bout Layne too, i would appreciate to know. Thank you. And sorry for my english, i’m from Brazil!

  6. Chillow06-24-13

    I think this is a bit late, but I’m going to ask anyway. Since the Darin & Barbara article area is closed I’d like to ask on this comment section:

    Barbara: How is Darin doing? How are you doing? Is it still a struggle that you’re both dealing with? It’s wonderful that you and Darin made it thru those hard times. I don’t understand how Layne’s Dad made it thru all his drug/hard times, and he’s still here today in his 70’s??!!

    Take care.

  7. Chillow06-14-13

    This is going to start off sounding bad, but read on….most ppl want to know Demri only because she was Layne’s girlfriend; and they want to know everything they can about Layne. (Of course, right, since I’m one of them, and I would not have known that she even existed if not for loving Layne and his amazing talent.) BUT, after reading about Demri, thanks to you, we come to know her as her own person. Obviously beautiful, unique, artistic…basically has many Layne qualities, but their also her own. Thanks for this site. As I’ve mentioned in another reply area, many AIC sites seem to be weening Layne off of them even if it’s regarding positive feedback on the new and old versions of AIC. Idk, maybe I’m wrong on that, but this site is very refreshing and it’s nice to be able to discuss Layne and Demri, and remember both of them sincerely.
    THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. VALERIE BOURQUE06-12-13

    LOVE LOVE LOVE LAYNE SO MUCH…FOREVER. it is gut wrenching thinking i can never see him in the flesh…no matter beaten or battered…to watch that amazing voice flow from within him. I am a child of the grunge uprising and i remember it like yesterday. Not a day went by that our entire crowd wasn’t worshiping our man Layne with AIC on every car radio, house radio, beach radio. We all were flying somehow, in the same place, no matter how big or small time, famous or fallen…we all had a soul connection to Layne. There are still times, like now, when i just cannot stand it and the grief is just too much…love you Layne just for being you and sharing the beautiful you that has touched so many lives. We all wanted to save you, and i regret even as a nobody that i didn’t pile in my car, drive to Seattle and just sit with you to do whatever you needed to help you, passing no judgement, no ultimatums, no discussion of what you didn’t want…just be there so you wouldn’t be lonely…and maybe belt out a few notes here, of course;) the part i hurt the most about is how alone you were, how lonely…it hurts to know you had to be so alone. Love you man, unlike the earth that spins and i have to be done now, cause i can no longer see the screen <3

  9. cina05-12-13

    Hi thank you very much for all your stories about Layne and Demri. Really appreciate the fact that you are speaking from your heart and keeping it real! Layne and Demri have been lucky to have such a compassionate and sincere friend such as you. Big angel hugs to you…

  10. Be04-22-13

    Love your site so much Barbara, I’m always checking back to read new stories and I love your personal insight and loving memories. I came across some sweet Layne memories on the grunge story tellers site by Xana.

    ‘Learning to Water ski with Layne Staley':

    http://grungestorytellers.xanaland.com/2013/04/learning-to-waterski-with-layne-staley.html?spref=fb

    And, ‘Layne Staley and the Tale of The Orange Shirt':

    http://grungestorytellers.xanaland.com/2013/03/layne-staley-and-tale-of-orange-shirt.html

    :)

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  12. Alexi04-05-13

    One more thing everybody should read what Anthony wrote. This is the most moving thing I’ve read in along time. This shows how wonderful Human beings Layne And Demri were. So generous and empathetic. They understood suffering and pain. Wow thanks again Anthony. So all you Layne and Demri haters can suck on it. This is who they really were. Man I almost cried like baby. Bless your souls Layne And Demri and all the others of course.

  13. Alexi04-05-13

    I can’t believe its been 11 years already. Well brother I know you’re no longer in pain. You’re up there now with Demri and Mike singing with the angels. We sorely miss you and thank you for all the beautiful music you made. You were one in a trillion. RIP Layne Thomas Staley 1967-2002 and now into eternity.

  14. anthony magda04-05-13

    I can credit both Layne and especially Dem for pushing me towards recovery. In 95 I had the plesure of meeting Dem (don’t want to get into details, but it was not under the healthiest of circumstances) at an apt on summit (capitol hill). She had just had open heart surgery for her bacterial endocarditis, yet she was still a ball of life. As we spoke she told me about the problems she was having with her boyfriend/former fiance (which of course, unbeknownst to me at the time was Layne). We went and met him at cafe pardisio up off broadway, and at that pointe I realizes who he was, but made a pointe not to even mention he was a “rock star”, which I now know he REALLY APPRECIATED… any way long story short the conversation came around to our collective addictions… Layne was so sweet, he and I discovered I went to school with Sean (Kinney), and that we had some mutual friends. Then he asked me what I planned to do about my “problem” AKA Heroin addiction. He asked me if I could excuse he and Dem for a minute, which I did. About five minutes later he came up to me with a card with a refferall to THS Summit (which I did’nt even know of at the time) and said to call them and give them the card. He and Dem then explained the pro’s and of MMT… I was obviously not in his position financialy, so he said, “bro, if you want off this shit (heroin) this is a great first step”. He then went on to say it was not condusive to his lifestyle (touring, doing promotions, etc…) but for a normal “dude” like me it could, if I gave it a chance save my life… anyway I called THS, set up a intake, and when the question of funding came up my counselor said, “you have a very caring friend that has paid your intake, and a years worth of fees” which is around four grand… I saw layne on the ave (u-district) and hugged and thanked him, he gave me that sly smile and said, “for what?” And winked at me. He told me about a Mad Season show and put me on the VIP list. I asked him if he wanted to go have coffee or a beer, and he said, “brother, I love you, and thanks for liking me and Dem for just being us, but we WOULD NOT BE GOOD FOR YOU RIGHT NOW! You are still at THS, yes?” I said yep three months clean, he hugged me and said, keep it up, you are making Dem and I happy, keep fighting you can make it! He then looked me right in the eyes with those steel blue eyes of his and they were welling up, he then said, “one of us HAS TO MAKE IT OUT OF THIS SHIT, MAKE IT YOU” to which he kissed me on the cheek, walked over to his Harley and rode away, Dem died about three months later, and I never saw Layne again, in human form, I talk to him constantly in meditation and prayer, and I can tell you all wherever he and Dem are, they are happy and together… just thought I would show the “everyman side” of Layne Staley, he owed me NOTHING, but because I treated him and his soulmate like the ORDINARY PEOPLE they were… I know 99% of you are “oh sure bro” but I know this is true, cause if it was’nt I would be dead from my addiction…. though Layne WAS NOT RELIGIOUS, HE WAS SPIRITUAL (just ask Barrett Martin) so I KNOW he is looking out for ALL OF US…. I LOVE AND MISS BOTH HE AND DEM EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE, BECAUSE WITHOUT THEM I WOULD BE DEAD….. I love you Layne and miss you soooooo much on this 11th anniversary of your untimely passing, you are loved and missed by more then you could have ever imagined, any way love you and miss you also Demri… see you soon, save a spot on the couch for me….. Ant AKA Ant….

    • Alexi04-05-13

      How Anthony thanks for sharing that. Layne was such a caring person. That was so nice and moving that he payed for your treatment. He was such a great person. And of course Demri was an amazing person as well. In the midst of their own pain and suffering they went out of their way to help you like that realy shows what kind of people they were. Congradulations on your sobriety and I’m glad you made it through take care.

    • T111104-06-13

      Thank you for sharing your story. It is very special, indeed. God Bless.

    • Barbara04-07-13

      Anthony’s story is sweet…and intriguing but I kinda doubt it. Only because… THS which I also went to back in the day.. is highly private about patient identity and unless Anthony brought the money in himself.. some random person can not just call up and pay for someone who was not even a patient there yet and then even if he was a patient there… they can not say yes he is or no he is not a patient here. This MIGHT Of been something Layne would of done… (doubt it) because he knew a LOT of junkies who needed help but he never offered to pay for treatment except for one of his best friends actually.. but one he just met??.. I have a hard time with that..unless this was just on some crazy whim of his BUT the rest just does not jive about THS and how they work as a private medical facility. I mean I could call up there and ask did my boyfriend come in this morning or has he got there yet? They could not tell me ANYTHING even if they knew us both for years. I don’t know I’m not trying to say Anthony is a liar… maybe the tale just got a little exaggerated after 20 years? OR maybe I’m completely wrong and it happened exactly how he said it did..point is I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. Rest in Peace Demri and Layne and Mike and Rosheen I live and miss you all so much.

  15. pablo03-24-13

    Layne… Our master.
    Because of you all of Europe know wheres America and Seattle.

  16. G-Man03-23-13

    Thank you immensely Barbara for starting and managing this site, it truly is a gift!

  17. G-Man03-23-13

    I moved to Seattle in 1982 and spent 3 great years there. I went to Roosevelt High School the same time as Duff Mckagen and Mike Mcready were there, though I think Duff Dropped out while I was going there. Anyway I was part of the pre-grunge scene until transferred out to Long Beach California, I was in the Navy and Stationed at Sand Point Naval Base in North East Seattle at the time. When I was to be transferred I tried my damnedest to stay in Seattle because I loved the city so much, but it was to no avail. Anyway, when the music starting coming out of Seattle I was all over it because of my love for the city and the time I spent there. When I was in Seattle we had live music every weekend in the Navy Club in the basement of one of the buildings. This was a few years before AIC began. I saw a lot of local bands and partied with them after the shows. All the bands were so friendly. Later after the scene busted open, I really was drawn to Alice in Chains because of the beautifully dark haunting melodies and vocal lines. Layne’s voice always penetrated deep inside of me no matter how many times I listen to his music. Seattle was beautiful in the early 80s before it became crowded. It was the cleanest and friendliest city at that time. People would say hello to you as you were walking down the street. I came from the Bronx so this was a stark contrast to what I was used to and I loved it. I was deeply saddened by the news in 2002 and that we would never here Layne’s voice again. However, I have all the music he made and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’s listen to Layne’s voice.

    • Barbara03-24-13

      I moved to Seattle from California in 1992 at 19 years old to live near my Mom who had moved there to start a business. I was also surprised that you could actually approach strangers without them thinking that you were crazy and that people on the street would randomly smile at you at you and say hello and that they actually had manners for example opening doors or letting a woman walk in front of them through a door way and the whole concept of saying excuse me in public with sincerity was something I was not used to and I also LOVED it. However, the street kids and the music scene kids all called me naive and funny and they were right. I had never even heard of anyone doing heroin let alone zaddicted to it and I had no idea what it did to you and I was already 20 years old. So, After doing it everyday for a month I decided I just did not want to do it anymore..no problem… well I got violently ill..and I was SHOCKED!! I thought there was something wrong with me. I did not correlate the two.. I was totally confused. So, they were all right I was horribly naive and to my determent.
      I remember calling Demri on the phone once I figured out why I was sick and she told me and I quote “Barbara.. I told you not to do it three days in a row!!… then click she hung up on me” so obviously she was also having a ba day. Haha! I was such a young girl and sooooooo clueless. I wish I could go back and give that girl (me) a few lessons in life. Oh well.

      • G-Man04-02-13

        You know it’s funny they called you naive because I thought the kids I hung out with were naive and behind the times (hell, break dancing was just getting there when it had been in the Bronx for 5 years already) because at 18 years old I had already experienced many things things beyond my years and that was to my detriment as well. In Seattle the kids my age were just starting to experience things I had already been through and written off. They actually looked up to me because I had been there and done that. I really liked all the people I hung out with because they had a lot of respect for me because I was raised in the Bronx. I guess it was as foreign to them as Seattle was to me. I also had a lot of respect for them because they were so welcoming to me and incorporated me into there group of friends. The thing that impressed me was they would go out of there way to make sure everyone accepted me. I don’t know what Seattle is like today or how much it’s changed since I was there but I don’t think anyone is smiling at anyone as they walk pass them and saying hello, maybe there are a few old timers still there trying to keep the culture alive, but I wouldn’t bet on it. Since leaving Seattle because I was in the military I’ve lived in a lot of cities throughout the U.S., and Seattle was by far the most unique place I have ever lived in, I have great memories of my time there and I had so much damn fun when I lived there. Oh well everything changes and as Layne sung “nothing ever stays the same yeaeeehee hee.”

  18. search engine optimization03-16-13

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    • Barbara03-24-13

      who cares I write from my heart not the dictionary… you get my meaning regardless it’s not like I am unintelligible. Give me break. Don’t nit pick. Or am I just being sill and responding to a spam bot? Haha! If I am I feel retarded for sure now.

      • G-Man06-02-13

        Some people are highfalutin dicks…I totally understand everything you say spelling errors or not, and I can tell it comes from your heart…keep ‘em coming. Everything here is spelled correctly with proper punctuation and from the heart, so go stick it you know where English Major Moron!

  19. Merita03-05-13

    I’m writing this listening to song Dirt by AiC..
    I can’t believe that he is dead, I still think that he is alive somewhere hiding from public and media, that’s how i want to think and if i think otherwise, i will die out of grief – although so many years passed not seeing Layne, I love him and will keep up thinking that he is somewhere alive….
    don’t believe in heaven or hell, but in this case i wish so much that heaven exists and when i die i search for him and hug him- but again I really hope he is alive

  20. Lynn12-19-12

    Hello Barbara,

    I have been enjoying your site very much. I love the story of Layne and Demri and was wondering if you could tell me if Layne was at her funeral. I’ve always been curious about that.

  21. Dhanistha10-16-12

    Thank you

  22. Christina09-19-12

    With a Broken Heart

  23. Christina09-18-12

    Hello Barbara, Thanks you for this wonderful Memories Site about Layne Staley and your friends! Sorry for My english,i am German and Living in Hamburg! My Girlfriend Andrea and her Boys was in the 90’ies Big Fans of Alice in Chains! They was on a live Concert in Hamburg!! Layne Staley was a fantastic Singer! His Voice is Special and Amazing!! Andrea Said about Layne: No One Else could sing so painfull, with a Borken Heart, you Feeling the Hurt in His Songs and the Sadness in His Voice!! Layne Staley is Cult!! Thanks God, the Voice will Never die!! Music is a everlasting Love! For me the Best Grunge Singer and a charismatic Personality! Tragic Story and very Sad, Hope so Layne, Demri and Mike are together now and find Peace! The Memories and Alice in Chains Music will Never Dies!! Best wishes from Hamburg/Germany

  24. JASON08-14-12

    Thank you Barbara!!!!!

  25. Half06-03-12

    Hi Barbara,

    I am from Czech Republic, so please excuse my bad English. I want to thank you for this cool site, where you share your memories of Layne and Demri. It gives true light on their life, I hate these “writers” like Rubio and Tanya Vece.

    Can I ask you some questions? When did you last see Demri and Layne? I read your comment about you left Seattle for some time. Did you see Layne in his final years? I am understand you prefer write about good times you had with Layne and Demri, but as big fan of Alice In Chains I always want to know everything, even it’s a sad story.

    Jakub

    • Barbara06-08-12

      The last time I saw Demri she was in her hospital room probably about 6 months before she passed away.. the last time I saw Layne was on Capital Hill outside the methadone clinic.. he was getting on his Harley and I was like “HEY LAYNE”! We talked for a few minutes and he took off. I had a baby shortly after that and I left Seattle to raise my kid out of the scene and get my life together and I never saw him or Demri again. But they were part of my life for a good part of 6-7 years before that.

  26. Mari04-06-12

    It’s so sad how you have lost so many of your close friends. You must be a really strong person, because you survived all the pain and suffering. I seriously admire you very much for that. Thank you for the great posts, hopefully you’ll keep writing about Layne, Mike & Demri.
    I wish you all the best,

    Mari

  27. christopher semanko04-06-12

    I remember the first time i found this site.i thought it was the coolest that someone would take there time and share there life and memories with people she didn’t even know.I can admit i started reading everything basicly wanting to know more about layne .I learned a lot more about other people that meant something to you barb,and for that i am forever grateful. I can still remember listening to every song,note and lyric back in the day.and how much there music was and still is a part of my life.I still listen and it still takes me back :) .The best memory i have is being at action park in nj when they were there.thanks for everything you have done… :)

  28. Jesse White04-06-12

    You know barbara..its quite okay to feel some sort of closure with this site. Youve accomplished what you set out to do. Like weve talked before..i still miss all of them. I never knew them..but by befriending you and learning what an amazing person you arw i can only know that they were just as wonderful. This site..and you..helped me through a very deep part of my life. There are still times before i sleep when i do cry for them..but u and i know that theyre not in any pain anymore. I want to thank you again for everything youve done. You brought peace to my world. In remembrance of layne and demri and mike and rosheen..ill make sure to play alice extra loud!:D keep in touch stranger. Miss talkin with ya.

    • Barbara04-07-12

      Thank you Jesse it’s people like you who make this site worth it. I think it’s awesome that you’ve been able to tap into your own heart and soul through Layne’s music.
      I do not believe that it is Layne who has done this for you but you did it for you. Through his music you found something.. something fulfilling.
      I’ve told you this before and I’ll just say it one more time.. remember to look to those around you for the amazing and talented humans like Layne because believe me they’re there. Just because they’re not famous or maybe not even musically inclinded does not mean that they can not touch you just as strongly as Layne’s music has. I want everyone to look to your friends to find your hero’s and if you can not find hero’s in your friends.. then it’s time to make new friends. HUGS!!!
      Thank you so much for being so supportive of me and this website. I think your an amazing guy and I wish you nothing but the best in this short life.

      Barbara

  29. Joseph04-06-12

    Wow thanks so much for making this site! I’m a huge Layne/Alice/Mad Season fan and if you’re a true fan you start to wonder about the people they shared there lives with and that is exactly how I found your site. I started doing research on Demri and looking for people with real stories about her and that led me to here. Thanks again for taking the time for making this site without it I wouldn’t have known very much about her than what shady info that’s normally found online. Finding things about Layne and people to talk to about him is easy. Hell his mom actually sent me a few things to my house a couple years back but trying to find out info on Demri is damn near impossible. Just letting you know your web following grew by at least one last night.lol.

    Thank
    Joseph
    Canton ga

    • Barbara Dearaujo04-06-12

      Thank you Joseph! I’m just happy people enjoy it. I’d like to update the site more but I feel like I’ve told all the stories I have. Trying to remember stories about friends you had 15-20 years ago..even BEST friends.. is not as easy as you would think it would be…but I still try. I mean sure I remember them like yesterday but mostly I remember their essence.. or you could call it their aura.. just the energy that made them who they were as humans.. that’s what really lasts. I hope that when I pass on that people remember me as a warm, funny and loving energy. :) I can still see and feel Dem’s HUGE smile and sometimes I think I can smell her perfume on someone and she comes back to life in my heart and mind for a minute. I remember Layne through his music of course but also his funny laughter and silliness that made him Layne. I remember Mike as a sly cat and funny “Heyyyy” kinda guy like the Fonz.. LOL! I remember Rosheen as having a huge heart and being the best most giving friend in this world. It’s the small things you remember after so many years. But these are the things that stick with us. I don’t remember whole conversations or even whole nights.. just bits and pieces of moments here and there. They will forever be part of who I am. Thanx for visiting. Rest in Peace my friends.

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